I just got some news about some things that have happened in the past. I can’t change it now but it makes me feel like I let alot of people down. Like I should have been there and stopped it. Really bummed out.
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I know what you’re feeling.
Years ago I was living in Key Largo, my mom and brother lived in MA.
My brother was 14 and hitchhiked to a friend’s house. We never saw him again. I always felt like if I was there I would’ve given him a ride. I was 21 and up to no good.
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You have to tell yourself that you did the best you could at the time. If you could have done better you would have.
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I physically abused my ex wife while on alcohol, 3 years ago, I heard that she still have ptsd over it, I feel the only way I can forgive myself is to remove the addiction from my life. That’s all i can do
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Donna I really hope that you don’t really, truly hold that against yourself. I’m sorry you had to go through that and I know that it will still hurt like hell. That is one of those truly horrible and possibly despicable things to happen but it’s not on you. If you hadn’t been up to no good you could well have been busy doing something else. Sorry for your loss.
Sorry @Jaysoberlife I didn’t mean to derail your thread, welcome to the community . I think that I can relate to this. 
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Thanks for everyone’s replies. Your good @anon13078412. Well the reason I feel like so helpless because I was a foster parent. I ended up losing my child and my biologically child ended up with brain damage, which contributes to his Autism. Even though my ex wife was convicted, I feel like I should have known. Even though we lived in seperate houses at the time I feel like it’s my fault even though tons of people have said it isn’t. Just sucks.
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Welcome Jay. Wow that’s a big burden to carry. You can’t blame yourself. You were not under the same roof and you can’t control others. Pls put this behind you since you can’t change the past. Maybe consider a 12 step program to free yourself of this guilt. I wish you the best and look forward to seeing you around the forum and interacting.