Buying a 60 euros bottle of liquor “to have just one every now and again to really enjoy it”, and emptying it in one go.
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It didn’t matter what else I was going to be doing, the main thing that I would do that was essential was drink.
It might start earlier, or later, but it wasn’t going to just not happen.
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Like selecting where to eat out for breakfast/brunch, based on where serves mimosa or Bloody Mary!!
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I used to buy chocolate boxes (Ferrero Rocher or stuff like that) along with the booze and pretend that I was going to a party that night. So pathetic.
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I guess this is one of the things we all had in common while drinking. Horrifying.
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That peculiar relationship among trash, empty bottles and alcoholism. I always used to think about empty trash with new start without booze, but it does not work. I have indeed drunk a liquor bottle in the street just not to start a new empty bag with bottles.
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There are the deep dark secrets, the vandalism and sexual assault and fights. And then there is the death by a thousand cuts, the small humiliations that we endure day by day until, in the end, we are demoralized completely. We know, or strongly suspect, that we have lost control completely of our drinking. We admit only to ourselves and only infrequently that we would do anything to be able to continue to drink. That we are helpless and unable to NOT drink. We drink against our will.
I needed to be in a community like this one, like AA, to find the acceptance and love others have for me as a person, complete with my flaws and fearsome history of bad actions. I needed to find people who believed I could get sober in order to believe it myself.
It was 18 years between my first AA meeting and the day I got permanently sober. That was 18 years ago next month. I credit my sobriety 100% to the grace of a power greater than myself that loved me and helped me turn my life 180° around. That grace comes from people in recovery, from institutions like the Department of Corrections, and from a spiritual source. I was barely employed, barely still at home, drinking daily and facing a crushing prison term when I got sober. But more than that, my soul was squashed and in pieces, but it did cry out one time and was heard. It might sound like a clichè, but if I could get sober, then anyone else can.
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When you scavenge around the house looking for enough loose change to buy a flask of cheap rotgut.
You use your collection of rare silver coins that your Dad gave you for booze money.
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So true. Bottomless Mimosas for $20.00. Then wasting the rest of day sleeping it off. Only to wake up with a massive hangover.
Can’t say i miss those days.
Hugs
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I did the same thing. I would buy food and wine at 9 am at the grocery store “for my bookclub”. The lies we tell ourselves and others while using.
Hugs
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Relatable! Been there, done that.
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Only difference is mine was Seagram’s 7.
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Oh for sure. This shit will have us doing all sorts of things to cover up and hide it. It’s a mushroom, don’t let it sit in the dark and damp, get it into the light.
We are not alone and we are stronger together when we have others who know the struggle to lean on.
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What’s this underwear doing in my rum drawer?
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I hope it doesn’t. I’m one of those dudes.
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• put vodka in a water bottle and pretend you’re drinking water
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One time I returned a half pint filled with water to the liquor store so that I could buy another half pint of vodka. I’m pretty sure the store associate knew what was going on but feel bad for me. Definitely might be an alcoholic if you do so
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Sheesh that’s hardcore, I would’ve just stolen at that point…who am I to judge though. 
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I tried to remember that day. I’ve been going to the same liquor store for a couple years so they really didn’t question things. They were kind of just like whatever. But I’ve definitely been stealing at that point. But just not that day. That was a weird day. And I wonder who drink that After returning that bottle filled with water. Somebody must’ve bought that and then like what the hell
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