Welcome to the community, wranglerwren. Talking Sober is a sobriety forum, which means the intent of members is to be 100% sober, or to strive to be. You will likely not get any other message from members here. It is not a moderation forum, which is what it sounds like you’re describing. If your goal is cutting back or moderating, that is absolutely up to you but this just might not be the community for you. I do encourage you to read around and get information that might be useful for you. I’ll give you this link to a great read to start with if you wish to.
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