Just curious…im 662 days… did it without this apo. But my Daughter had an app and I thought it was interesting so I joined this one.
Question is I have maybe a beer On the weekend now and then. Now I used to have six every night. So I have went to 4 beers a month. Instead of 126 plus beers or 2 fifths of jameson a month… I dont count this as relapse or not stopping. Do you all. I been hammered 2 times in 662 days…instead of 3 times a week. Me i just dont see it as starting myclock over…But want to play by theRules!
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I’m new to sobriety. But I would say yes alcohol is alcohol and if you had a problem with it in the past then it sounds like a slippery slop to be on.
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For me - If I have even half of beer, I reset the clock.
Having one or two beers from time to time is very dangerous, slippery slop.
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Sober is sober.
Beer is beer.
You’re lying to yourself here.
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I mean… for me, the only rules are the ones I give myself. I’m 34 and there’s absolutely nothing stopping me from having a glass (or a bottle or 5) of wine today while leaving the timer running. But if I did that, there’d be no point to the timer, it would just be a number on an app on my phone counting how many days have passed since Jan 14, 2023. My timer represents my commitment to sobriety. So… yeah. If I had a beer, I’d reset it. More likely tho, I’d probably just lie to myself for weeks/months that I can now control it.
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If reducing works for you, great. Counting this makes no sense tho. You’d have to say I’ve not had alc on X outta Y days.
No way that’s sobriety tho.
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I count that as a relapse. I drank couple of ciders a month ago and I reset my counter. It’s either on or off, there’s no middle way in sobriety. But you can do whatever you want.
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Welcome to the community, wranglerwren. Talking Sober is a sobriety forum, which means the intent of members is to be 100% sober, or to strive to be. You will likely not get any other message from members here. It is not a moderation forum, which is what it sounds like you’re describing. If your goal is cutting back or moderating, that is absolutely up to you but this just might not be the community for you. I do encourage you to read around and get information that might be useful for you. I’ll give you this link to a great read to start with if you wish to.
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Minimizing use mitigates the harms of alcohol misuse, but if your intention is sobriety, and following rules, then moderation is not sobriety as considered here.
It is minimizing harm though, yea.
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I see no reason why you even start a clock 
- when you start a clock to cook pasta you stop at 11 minutes
- when you start a clock to run for 20 min you stop at 20 minutes
- when you start a clock to keep track of your sobertime you stop at when you drink your first intentional drink
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Welcome! As a grateful and extremely fortunate recovering alcoholic I would sumply say quit listening to you on the rationalize part.
You drank for effect before & you still do at times. Maybe you have some element of control now but the hundreds of millions before us have tried as well. Damn near all have failed. Maybe you’re special?
As for the counter. Of course it’s a relapse you stated you continue to drink and at times got fucked up…fully appreciate your honesty, I’m just doing the same.
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“We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not.”
IF I ingested any amount of drugs or alcohol, THAT would qualify as a reset. In my opinion.
If I got right back to my program, I’d only consider it a lapse, versus a relapse, but it would 100% be a reset.
However, knowing myself, there is a 0% chance I could only have, what was it? 1 beer on the weekend? Whatever it was, there is NO WAY I could limit myself. I would drink ‘til I inevitably ended up shootin’ dope, smokin’ every smokable drug, and ended up in jail and/or dead.
What you do and how you live is all you.
Best of luck.
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But one beer is not being intoxicated…
LoL holy cow!! Never met such an unfriendly unwelcoming group in my life! Good Grief… wow i. Blown away… well good luck to ya ll… so much on talking over things friendly ! Wow! LoL
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so you’re counting the days in which you’re not getting hammered? so thats 662 minus 2?
one beer is not intoxicated but it’s also not sober. maybe you’re counting your mild buzz days? idk.
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Personally, I would reset my timer because I’m an alcoholic. Drinking in moderation didn’t work for me. I only got hammered 3 times from the beginning of 2021 to mid-October. I acted fucking reckless that last time. I am a drunk, and I can’t handle my alcohol. So yeah, rather be completely sober.
Welcome to the forum. Sorry you didn’t find the answers you were looking for.
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This is a sobriety forum. We do abstinence here. There might be a different part of the forum for moderation or for people that are using. You would have to ask a moderator I’m not sure how you get into that part.
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Its the first beer that always gets me. One is too many, because 1000 isnt enough.
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I am sorry we have come across as unfriendly/unwelcoming, @Wranglerwren, but do you know the term “don’t bullshit a bullshitter”? We have all been bullshitters when it comes to addiction and we recognize it a mile away.
Your quotes above just don’t make a ton of sense, unless you are actually hammered after 2 beers?
I for one would not want you to leave this forum, but I do urge you to tell us your real story and I can guarantee you will get a more welcoming response in return.
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I have read every response and every one of them were friendly and truthful.
You asked a question then push back and insult the answer you asked for to be answered.
This, as mentioned is a sobriety forum, if you wish to drink “moderately” and only get hammered a couple times, that’s your choice and life man… no one is forcing you here.
But you aren’t sober. If you wish to be, welcome and you’ll get all the support you like. If you wish to continue drinking then perhaps keep looking for the group you want. This one is to support folks looking for help and support to stay sober.
Best wishes.
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