Hi everyone I’m a 23 yo F and currently going through this journey to be sober from smoking weed and drinking. It is really hard at my age because it’s so common and normal in all activities and every weekend that people wanna drink or smoke and I feel like I’m going to be making myself an outcast or lose all my friends who are huge partiers. This is what I need for myself I know my vices and that I need to sober from these things but god it’s hard to let go more so from the perspective of losing friends and sometimes I am peer pressured into going out or drinking and it’s just fucking hard and I’m nervous. Any tips or advice right now would be appreciated🩷
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Welcome Hazel!! Glad u found us! I applaud u on wanting to make changes early on in life. My first real attempt at getting clean and sober was at age 21 so i get what ur talking about. For me, i did lose alot of those “old” friendships when I quit using. In fact i began to realize that i didnt have much in common with them outside of using drugs and drinking. BUT… i found a huge group of sober friends thru 12 step meetings. I went to NA and CA first, and then gradually went over to AA. Have u thought about attending meetings? Its a great place for sober community 
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Welcome Hazel! Getting healthy (which means no “recreational” drugs, including alcohol) is a big life change. It seems intimidating at first - you are not alone there.
I understand the worry about losing relationships. That’s a feeling lots of us have faced.
If it helps, think of it this way: there’s another relationship you have. It’s the relationship with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the foundation of all your other relationships. If your relationship with yourself is off, then your other relationships can’t work. If your relationship with yourself is good, then naturally, daily, your relationships with other people - including any changes or new relationships - will work.
How is your relationship with yourself?
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Welcome and congrats on making a very mature decision. There is so much information and support here. Hope to see you around. 
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One of my close friends now is a person I met at a recovery group 
I feel understood by him in a unique way.
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I quit drinking when I was 27 and I have often said that it was harder for my friends than it was for me.
It was something I really wanted for me and I wasn’t going to waiver on it.
My friends on the other hand would say nasty things like ‘oh you can’t go out with us, you can’t have fun, you don’t drink.’
I actually could have fun. I could have more fun. I was really grateful I didn’t drink. I could drive home without being drunk, which had not been the case in the past.
After a certain amount of time, my not drinking was appreciated because I could be the designated driver.
The original people I was around when I quit we didn’t end up staying friends. They were bar friends.
I have always had lots of drinking friends.
As the years went on, it just came to be accepted that I was the one who didn’t drink.
Often times I would get ‘well just have one or just have a sip or whatever’ but it wasn’t something that I wanted so it was not a trigger, alcohol was off of my brain.
.
I’m sorry you’re feeling that kind of pressure.
Around me a lot of the breweries are closing up because your generation is not wanting to spend their time in them.
You will never regret your decision not to drink. Alcohol harms body in and of itself. Then you also have the addiction part.
There is lots of support for you here and lots of diversion.
Stop drinking for yourself and your friends will get used to it.
Going to AA meetings might be helpful for you because you will be around like-minded people and have someplace to go to not feel the loneliness of not going out with your friends, if that is too hard for you.
If it is triggering for you to go out with your friends, don’t go out with your friends, look for new friends.
If you do go out with your friends, look at how they start acting when they start drinking. Alcohol changes behavior and it’s usually not for the better.
You have made a wise decision for yourself. Always keep those reasons at the front of your brain.
Welcome to the community and welcome to your sobriety. There’s lots of help for you here.
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I applaud and admire you, @hazel, for taking this big a step at this young age.
I don’t usually like to dwell on the past, but I’ll tell you honestly that I wish I had quit drinking much sooner (I was 50) because that would have likely allowed me to pursue more of my real passions, maintain healthier relationships and not seen me stuck in a soul-destroying career as long as I have been.
Yes, it’s difficult not to join in the partying at your age, but your 30/40 year old self is going to be forever grateful for giving yourself the best possible opportunity to get most out of life.
I am rooting for you!
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Welcome @hazel 
I had long periods without drinking alcohol (never used other drugs) in my life, especially in my 20s when I studied and worked part-time. I loved to go out with friends and they never cared if someone drank (no) alcohol, (no) coffee or was on a special diet, if you stayed all night or left at 10 p.m. Those were the late 80s & 90s and we fucking lived how we wanted to live. Vegetarians were a growing community, vegans were aliens, organic food was starting to bloom, banking & finance & the rise of the internet were the prospering economic boom, drugs, cigaretts & alcohol were everywhere and nobody cared if you consumed them.
One odd comment and one would have been snapped on like from a bulldog because not your business, who do you think you are to question my lifestyle?
that’s not for everyone of course.
party as you like sober. trust your gut feeling and leave without notice when you have enough and are tired. tell people to keep their problems with your non-drinking to themselfs. or ask them if they pooped properly today. then discuss the health value of taking one proper poop a day. when they feel uncomfortable or offended, tell them to think before they talk bullshit to you next time.
party, dance, enjoy, play darts, pubquiz, fancy dinner, have a good time whatever you do. and leave when you have enough. drunk people are loud, repetitive and boring when you are sober. they won’t even notice you left. i speak from years of experience. there was this one really big party I never went to. I was exhausted from work and fell asleep at home, slept all night, picked up two friends in the early morning to drive them home. Until today everybody maintains that I was at the party and we had a good time. Blurred collective memory.
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It’s scary but it’s necessary .not everyone drinks and uses ,just people you haven’t met yet 
Hey, it’s only you in your head right now…it gets easier as ya go…
But don’t see yourself as an outcast, friends will recognize and support
I’m older and just made 100 percent change.
Everything…jobs, friends, hobbies…it’s not for everyone, but it’s working for me
I don’t recommend this approach.