Hi everyone. I’m back on the site after a long absence, and I’m creaping up on one week, so I’m pretty happy about that.
Anyway, I was wondering if (and suspecting that) anyone else uses a “favourite lie” to explain why they aren’t drinking / doing drugs / whatever else anymore.
Considering the fact that my late father did indeed suffer from anxiety-related stomach ulcers, I often claim to have “inhereted” that from him, and that I’m keeping away from alcohol because of that.
What about the rest of you ?
Just one beer…
That gave me laugh, I must admit…
No I don’t have one. Why not just stick with the truth? “I’m a sober person.”
My friends and anyone I deem worthy of knowing me know I’m an alcoholic with mental health issues and that’s why I quit drinking. Anyone else just knows I don’t drink. Would interest me to know why and who you need to lie to?
I don’t think u can use this one, “my constitution changed after I had kids”
I tell why when asked. I used to live my life with so many lies, big ones and little ones. Very tiring. One of my recovery tools is honesty.
I used to say I’m taking a break. When I should have been honest and said I am not drinking anymore.
The first weeks of my recovery I said I like to live healthy for a while and so skip the alcohol.
No lie, but a bit creative with the truth.
After I had more sober time it depends of whom I’m with. If I have a warm connection with someone I tell them I quit alcohol because I drank enough for my entire life
If it’s someone more of a stranger I tell them I do not drink.
People close by know my story.
This is also my go-to line for not-close ppl. Glad it’s such a crowd pleaser!
I use i cant im on antibiotics and i get ill
It’s always nice to see how they respond isn’t it. And sometimes…when I’m a little bit rebellious I say: I have an alcohol addiction.
The look at their faces is hilarious then!
Like: she? Noooooo!
They all think we look like a homeless man/woman on a bad day
Interest post. I have told and still tell many lies.
I mean: when I was active I used to say: “I have no problem with alcohol”, “I am not drunk, just tired”. Being tired was the perfect excuse to go to bed and try to disguise the drunk state.
Now sober I am not enough to say (only my wife knows and AA community) that I do not want to drink because I have problems with alcohol because I am alcoholic. I say “I am taking medicines”, “I have work to do and I can’t drink”. And other lies are consequences of avoiding social events where I must not go in order to stay sober: “I can’t this date”, “we will see us next month”, etc.
Kind regards!
Very interesting topic! I’m still in early days and, since I live away from my extended family, expect all gatherings will require an explanation. The first was with my sister, about two weeks ago. I said that I’m training for a competition and any alcohol affects my performance. Which is true. With friends, I just say “no thanks, not drinking today”, grab a sparling water with lime, and leave it at that. Which is also true.
It’s a good question. I personally haven’t had to say anything because I haven’t been anywhere I needed to. I’m new in my sobriety, and I think time has a lot to do with how you may respond. I feel anything is ok if it helps you from not having anxiety or maybe not feeling the need to explain or justify it at the time. Since it’s our individual recovery, there’s probably no right or wrong answer, only what ever works best for you.
I did act sometimes like nothing has changed, a few years ago, at the beginning. Mainly In big family events (it’s the only place I would have to lie in order to fit in) I would take the glass of champagne then cheers with everybody, walk around and throw the champagne in the garden or just put the glass somewhere on a table corner. After two drinks nobody notice anything anymore…
Last family event, I wasn’t hiding anything, and nobody asked anything, they even asked how was my hangover the next morning. I was like, man, you’re referring the diet coke and sparkling water hangover ?
THC is my DOC, and my daily consumption was so high they’re all glad I quit. No question ask.
(Edit: it made no sense)
Nowadays I don’t care what ppl think, and I generally answer the famous “and you why do you drink” to the “why”. Easy. Efficient.
Anyway if you need to lie, The “I need a break” or “I can’t I drive” are efficient.
In my early sobriety I used “dry january” as an excuse. I told people, I had a bet running with someone, whether I could make it through the month. In February I started telling people who cared enough, I couldn’t drink because of medication reasons. When I felt stable enough and sobriety started to stick, I changed to the truth. I just say, alcohol and I don’t go well together. People will think their part and whoever cares enough to ask about it, will get a longer explanation. Most people don’t ask, I found.
Telling myself I can only have a couple of beers
If you lie how canyou recover…? I made my truth beome a reality for 4.5 years thus far
“I will not die a fentanyl statistic.”
Im even thinking of getting a tattoo an M in a warning label to stay away from meth as a reminder
I use health reasons. I don’t want to be too honest as people are such gossips and don’t want to upset my children.
Edit to add that I agree with @Pat_m that often people don’t notice after the first drink. There are enough women who manage to pass for drinking in early pregnancy that know that.