This is a topic that has been on my mind. For me, there seems to be a relationship between my past alcohol use and my tendency to procrastinate. I have been a procrastinator since my college years, and have even looking into self-help for that issue alone.
The cycle happens like this… I’d procrastinate doing something important, say working on my resume or making job calls, due to anxiety or uncomfortable thoughts about it. Then turn to drinking to self-medicate. The result is being drunk, unable to do anything productive, and then sleeping or passing out, and telling myself I’ll do it tomorrow. So the procrastinating leads to drinking, which leads to more procrastinating, and on and on. This can sometimes result in days or weeks of putting off important actions.
The bigger problem is, even during my sobriety I find other ways to “self-medicate” and procrastinate. Sometimes just lying or sleeping on the couch, surfing the internet, watching pointless movies or tv, or doing other trivial chores that I have more control over, etc.
Have other people experienced this kind of cycle? Discovered any practical solutions? It’s especially critical now because I’m unemployed, and the patience of my family is wearing thin. I need both my sobriety and job search to be priority, and I’m worried that both are at risk.
I have the identical problem. I had my wife change and not release the wifi password until i got specific things accomplished. That progressed into specific todo lists that i checked off items before my “relax” time was able to be completed. After a couple of nights without the relax time i got my list accomplished in a timely fashion to allow for more relaxing. It worked for me, good luck to you
I have struggled with this also. What I do is change the way I’m thinking of the task. I could think, “I really don’t want to do dishes, or study for this exam, or go to the grocery store.” Instead, I find it helpful to think, "I want the kitchen to be clean, so I’m going to want to do those dishes. Or I want an A on this test, so I’m going to want to study my butt off! Or, I’m going to want food to cook and feed my family, so I’m going to want to go to the store."
Changing the thought pattern has really helped me believe in wanting to do those things, instead of “having” to. I hope you find something that works for you!
I have found that my procrastination is fear based. I allow these thoughts of things I need to do become heavy and complicated when in reality they aren’t… I have created scenarios that most likey won’t happen. When I push myself to just do it piece by piece instead of looking at it as a whole, I get more done. Then I bribe myself…if I do this and this, then I can go get an icecream or whatever. It’s like getting a kid to do their chores. If I “adult” then I can please my inner child.
How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time.
I find making lists to be extremely helpful with reducing stress. If you sit down and make a plan…start with looking at your week - set one goal each day (even if it’s small). Start with small goals and work up to bigger ones. Or split larger tasks into smaller, more manageable pieces. Like with your resume - you could make your goal for the day to complete your opener (job objective, career goals, etc). Or start with the facts so it’s a little easier(education or job history).
For me it feels productive just to organize my thoughts and put them down on paper. I know it sounds slow but even slow productivity is better than no productivity. Breaking larger tasks down into smaller pieces really helps.
I have actually learned that my procrastination is most likely from ADHD (I’m not formally diagnosed but the diagnosis of my daughter has had me looking at my own childhood and early adulthood).
When there is large tasks to do I often find the whole thing overwhelming so instead I don’t even start…I procrastinate.
The trick I have learned (thanks to my daughter’s teacher) is to “chunk” the job into smaller tasks.
For example…washing the dishes. The first chunk is to fill the sink with hot soapy water and put the dishes in. Walk away. Then go back and wash the dishes and put them into the rinsing sink (I have a double kitchen sink). Walk away. Then go back and rinse the dishes and put them into the strainers. Walk away. Then go back and put the dry dishes away.
It takes a lot longer to get the job done…but now it is done.
I would also like to add that “procrastination” is also a “symptom” of symptom of early stage mental illness. That is one of my fears of how things progress to full on illness. A person is having a reaction to a trauma and because of that they start procrastinating. But then others view them as “lazy” because of that and are treated poorly which only sends them further down the slide to mental illness when they really needed someone to step in and give them some help and guidance…helping them back to being mentally healthy.
I guess I’m saying that your “trait” isn’t procrastination…it is really just a symptom of something else. Please don’t label yourself as a “procrastinator” as though it were something to be ashamed of. There are skills we can develop to help handle this.
Try the chunking. Each small task shouldn’t cause as much anxiety and perhaps you will be able to work through them all and get the job done…and then you’ll feel so much better and less anxious overall.
Im 15 days sober and going through the exact same thing. I need to work. I need to clean my house. I need to start the gym etc. All i want to do is sleep or lay in bed watching netflix or look at social media etc. I dont feel like socializing. Im not sure if its depression or im just used to these behaviors from when i was hung over all the time. Thx for sharing
Interesting, thanks for starting this topic! I have always dealt with “putting things off” till the last minute. I am trying to look at it at a lot of different levels. Sometimes, like @Melrm said, I think it is fear based. Making something seem bigger than it is. Once I get to it, I’m amazed sometimes how quickly I can accomplish something. I feel like this the most about home projects. I haven’t gotten my new magic jack working since September!
With work, I think it is fear, but I also might be wanting the rush of cranking things out in a highly efficient way right before a deadline. So is that selfishness? I can literally get mind blocks until a deadline is close. I think my issues in this are also social because I have to work all alone on a project until near a deadline. And then the whole team gets on it and it is more stimulating (and less fearful?) for me than just working alone for long amounts of time.
Maybe in your case @JohnSee it is just that job seeking is hard and not fun. You just need to do the work even though that is true. I feel for you! But being sober will help you so much!!
Maybe googling some stuff that is specifically about the job seeking process will help.
I think in my case it might even be relating to my childhood, being the youngest. Like I am waiting for someone to rush in and help me. Those might be my feelings even though it makes no sense at the current time… Procrastination gives me a certain amount of control. Whereas jumping off the diving board into action, not so much. Sorry for the rambling post!
What she said! My feels exactly! I’m slowly getting the motivation to get things done and as I do, evidence of just how much I procrastinated on things has been catching up to me. Things I said I’d do a year ago are still on my ‘to do list’… things that could’ve EASILY been done if I had respected the time of others more than nursing my own hangovers or ‘need’ to drink.
For me, procrastination was more a reflection of my own selfishness then anything else. Thanks for this topic! It’s been on my mind to post about but like everything else… I’ve been procrastinating about it lol @JohnSee
Thanks @Sober, @Gemstone123, @Melrm, @MissQuinn, @VSue, @Kareness and others - so many great ideas! I went through them all and compiled a list of suggestions. A few of them are from my counselor:
Procrastination can be about fear, discomfort, and confusion - it’s not a trait of a person, as in “a procrastinator”
Create specific so-do lists
Turn negative thoughts about a task into positive desires and outcomes. For example “I don’t want to study” into “I want to get an A!”
Break a daunting task into smaller bites or chunks
Write out a plan with a set of goals or milestones
Take on a bit/task at a time
Reward tasks done with downtime or a small reward
Learn from motivational videos
Block off at least 3-4 hours a day for job-search/skill-building and stick to it
Set an alarm and get up/ready as if you are going to work, and get enough sleep the night before
Be sober! - or nothing will ever get done.
I’m going to try these suggestions right away! Thanks.
This is a fantastic topic with great suggestions. This is one of my underlying problems as well. Half the time I think drinking was just another form of procrastination for me. It made sure I didn’t have to do anything challenging on weekends.
Other times I think drinking was a misguided attempt at self care. When I really needed downtime because I really was just too tired I would drink to pass out instead of just letting myself admit that I need some quiet nights and plain old sleep.
One thing I have noticed about my procrastination habit is that I am equally bad at self care and letting myself rest properly. Something that has helped me get somewhat better at getting down to work is to make sure rest and fun is taken care of. If I am not working I had better be doing self care, sleeping or having fun. Not just wasting time.
I’m a terrible procrastinator and I got so used to being hungover and watching TV all day that now I’m having a hard time prioritizing my day and getting things done even though I’m feeling much better. I feel a bit lost right now in that regard.
I think I need to restrict my phone/TV access until I can become more disciplined with my time.
I’ll actually accomplish things I’ve been putting off out of fear once I get bored enough!
Hi @Dogboi, I have to add a big footnote for you and others who read or replied to this topic. In the outpatient program I attend, it was explained that some level of procrastination, or “not dealing” with things is totally ok in early recovery (say, the first few months) The focus then has to be 100% on sobriety and self-care. It’s ok to relax, watch netflix, tv, “waste” time, etc during that time period. Obviously critical actions should not be put off - like doing taxes, or finding a job to survive, but outside of that. In later recovery > 3-4 months, abstaining should be easier, and the focus should shift to addressing the root causes of drinking/using, and working on quality of life goals. My main problem is that 13 months in, I met some goals, like my health, but had not really addressed a few big and looming problems. That probably helped me to relapse. So just wanted to clarify here.
@johnsee that’s an important clarification, thank you.
I’m an antsy person and I guess I’m feeling guilty about the time I’ve been spending doing nothing.
I do need to remember I’m actively accomplishing my #1 goal- which is to be sober
Oooh @JohnSee that was a great footnote. When we start feeling better, we take on too much and feel the need to accomplish all these goals or stay busy all of the time. We get overwelmed and set aside the most important thing that makes anything possible…our sobriety. You’re right, we need to pull back and just be sober. The other stuff will come in time. Patience grasshopper.
