Sometimes I feel like such a hypocrite when I’m not following my own advice… But even if I don’t, I hope others do. “Only YOU are in control of YOU. YOU call your own shots. This is for you & no one else.”
& that’s exactly why I feel & think so low of myself. I can’t even follow my own advice when it’s in my best interest that I should.
I know better but still sometimes I take advantage of the easy way out… or maybe I just do things because I simply can.
It’s like I try helping others when I should really be trying to help myself. Idk what it is, Do I forget that I’m suppose to put myself first? I can’t put my finger on it… I just don’t know how to feel right now. ughhh
Its kinda like a do as I say not as I do thinking.
I find my self trying to help others so I’m not stuck in my head with my problems. I want to fix other people first. When really I need to fix me first. What I see wrong in other people is really something I should check in myself before I try to help them. I can give good advice sure but where does that leave me if I’m not following it as well. It makes me just as sick as I was if not more .
Idk that’s what came to mind when I read this. Sometime its really hard to follow our own advice and we are our worst critics.
yes, some one who understand me rn.
& I think I do it because I don’t want anyone one else to feel like I do, or make the same mistakes that I did when all of it can be prevented.
& yeah, I think you’re completely right. Word to your last sentence
I definitely do the same thing and I’m pretty sure it’s normal to at least a certain extent. I’ve learned that having this disease just makes that aspect magnify. What I’ve been trying to do lately is listen to myself as I give advice to others as though I’m listening to someone else speak instead. It seems I can give others better advice than I can give myself, so by paying attention to how I help other people I can learn how to help myself. That’s my hope, anyway.
I actually do try. but sometimes, it just slips thru my fingers & I act thoughtlessly. get me?
I can do what I set my mind to, I HAVE & I DO. but I don’t know what goes on sometimes. I can’t really explain rn sorry, love
yeah. I am.
but I’m nothing compared to what I use to be, even tho it doesn’t make a difference whether I’m addicted or not. right? I’m just grateful that I’m not back there…
& yeah mine is just talking to my mom, who’s not living with us at the moment,about anything. She puts me in a good mood with just a good morning or “I love you”.
or something more physical is I write poetry… page after page, play favorite games for hours on my phone, or stuff like that… you know, stay busy getting lost in space lol or something like that.
I noticed in a few of my relapses I just went through the motions to use. It was like I was pre-programmed to do it, and didn’t care.
It took me a few mistakes to find the right activities to keep me focused. Re-wiring has been a long tedious process. Perhaps, I need to give more credit to God. I did pray every day! Constantly for strength and courage. For the tools and mindset to overcome my troubles. I stop looking at my relapses as a failure, but more as a stepping stone and learning experience. No one can make the decision for me to use, but me.
Maria, i do know exactly how you feel, because I am the same. I give other ppl the best advice for themselves, but can’t follow my own. That messes with my head, I instantly know that certain thoughts are BS but still roaming around them like a moth romantically in love with the flame.
Every human being will attest to what you just said. We have been you at one or other walks of our lives. We are all broken in someway. You were brave enough to acknowledge it in front of other when so many dont. Keep your chin up, tgank you for your share.
P.s…I would like you to share your poetry with us if you feel comfortable.
I give my adult “kids” so much advice that I never followed at their age, it’s almost ridiculous. But I admit it to them and say maybe we can learn from mistakes even as we make them, and try to transfer that knowledge.
@JohnSee, That’s something I can’t and don’t do. My daughter doesn’t take advise well, so over the years I have learned to keep my mouth shut to keep the peace. I don’t even have an input /interfere with how my grandchildren are raised due to I dont want the confrontation… Months go by and I don’t talk or see her or my grandchildren, “YES” IT hurts and is sad. But, it’s just how she wants it. And frankly it is easier to stay sober and clean w/o the constant bickering…
