I DID IT!!!
I, Nicole, made it 365 days without pills!!
My sober date was January 18th, so I am a little late announcing it, but I have been insanely busy. 
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First thing I want to say is THANK YOU to this community. Just a few days into my sobriety, I came across this group by accident. I downloaded the app for the countdown not even realizing that there was a hidden community that would give me more strength and inspiration than I knew. So, thank you
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I feel great! Some days I miss it but I remind myself repeatedly that the feeling was temporary while the hardships and pain lasted for weeks or even months. I tell myself how much money I have saved from not seeking (2grand, which went to my schooling
). I remind myself of the disappointment I caused not only being high (functional addict) but withdrawing. -
I am happy to not have to plan my life around my addiction anymore. Examples being:
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Jobs. I interviewed for many jobs I loved. Urine test? Nope! When can you start? …Let me see how many pills I have! How many sick days do I get?
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We want to invite you to the Great Escape this weekend? That sounds fun…wait…can we do it next weekend? No, But how about 2 weekends from now? Yes! Perfect (kids got punished all too much for this)
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Family vacations? No worries! My friend with cancer always gave me half of her morphine (SO SO wrong!!)
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I have been able to lose weight, get off my antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications as well as Gabapentin which caused weight gain, made me feel drunk all of the time, and awful!
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I almost lost my marriage. My selfishness caused my wife do go on a downward spiral herself (recovered alcoholic) She never touched the stuff again, but mentally, I wrecked her and my children when I would withdrawal.
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I was always sick. Vomited my brains out all of the time because of the pills. For a while, I was in denial that it was the pills that made me sick, and actually my mentality that did. Turns out my denial was correct.
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I haven’t lost a single friend over this. Why? I only have 2 close friends and they have been by my side for 17 years and 11 years. They encouraged me, drove 2 hours to help me when I was struggling, kept me straight and sane.
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I was trying to get pregnant. My wife and I knew deep down that it would be a bad idea because of the pills. I kept telling myself I could stop them. We decided to put it on hold until I was sober for a year.
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I am in school again and I can’t sit still because I have so many things I am doing and want to do!
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Life may not be glitter and rainbows every day. It may bring clouds and rain. But a year ago, I chose to take a hard step that so many have done, failed, and succeeded. I am still finding myself, still pushing myself, and still waking up every morning and putting my war paint on.
You are ALL warriors. If you fail, try it again even if it’s the 18th time!! KEEP TRYING!! Keep waking up every morning and fighting your demons. Embrace what comes at you whether it’s good or bad!
Keep going.
Today
2 year’s ago on pills
When I started pills
