100 Day Challenge - Failed

Relapses
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Hey guys

I just have to announce that i failed my 100 day alcoholfree Challenge yesterday at day 46.

Very disappointing, but i guess i know why. Its really interesting: I was in training, prepared for half marathon. Had some cravings, but not really serious. The focus was on the race. Then yesterday, i run the this race (in Lugano, Switzerland), had a good performance according to the circumstances (it was just to to hot for my target time).

Then on my way back home (its a four hour journey by train), it happened: I was going into the ā€œrailbarā€ (its a restaurant in the train), ordered two beers, then i went into the stadium because my team played, ordered another couple of beers. After the game, i buyed a small bottle of vodka and drank the half of it with sparkling water at home.

Conclusion: As soon the race was over, i was back into drinking in no time (4 Hours after the Finish). I think the next time i should plan not just the training and the race, but also the time after. Now, i have to deal with the fact that i lost my bet with a friend (i needed a 100 day streak to win) and lying hangovered in my living room on a beautiful day. That really sucks guys, believe myā€¦If you are struggeling at the moment, dont do it. It isnt worth the short moment of fun.

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ā€œI just have to announce that i failed my 100 day alcoholfree Challenge yesterday at day 46.ā€

ā€œVery disappointing, but i guess i know why.ā€

ā€œIt happened: I was going into the ā€œrailbarā€

Now you know the why and the howā€¦.

In the past, I could never maintain sobriety by setting a goal of ā€œI wonā€™t drink for this number of days.ā€

The only way I have stayed successfully sober is by not drinking for today.

In my opinion ā€œmoderationā€ is not sobriety. If I want to stay sober I can never drink againā€¦.ever.

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Hi, thanks for your reply. Youre right, moderation isnt sobriety. But why are you telling me this? In fact, i didnt moderate: I was 45 days sober and yesterday i was boozing^^I heard about the tactic to try just not to drink for today, tried this often but every time i was back into drinking after a few days. It doesnt work, the devil detects this liešŸ˜. Of course, i would prefer to throw out this stuff completly, but i just cant make it. Really annoyingšŸ˜•

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It didnā€™t just happen. You drank. You made a conscious decision to drink and you drank.
It isnā€™t of interest what exactly you drank and how much too. Your description might even be triggering to some folks here. Maybe it would be interesting if you told what made you decide to have that first one, and the rest too. Why you decided yesterday was a good day to drink for you. Why you decided to lose your bet by drinking. I can think of a few reasons, but Iā€™d much rather hear it from you.

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Go again bud! The lessons learnt from a failure only put you closer to success. Keep going! I had to reset saturday, im on day 2 it sucks

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I dunno mateā€¦theres something very nonchalant about this post that rubs me the wrong way. This is a forum people use to gain support from their peers who have had their lives torn apart by substance abuse and addiction.

The fact that you come on here talking about a bet with a friend strikes me as quite disrespectful of people who are actually on here making a solid attempt at sobriety - peope battling a serious disease and trying to get their lives back.

Good on you for 46 daysā€¦but iā€™m calling bullshit on this post. Come back when you want to get sober and stay sober and we will welcome you with open arms.

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Read back your own stories, then delete the ā€œof courseā€.

You drank because you still reject sobriety.
No problem, your life, your choice.

But letā€™s just call it what it is.

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The only one whos disrespectful here is you. You donā€™t know me, judges me and call my struggle bullshit? I cant answer this with the words i would like to say without getting bannedā€¦

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I feel you, weekends are always hard, right? Thx for your warm words and all the best for your fight. We can fall down, no problem if we stand up again and keep going. We can do thisšŸ‘

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What do you want to hear? It was hot, i was thirsty, the beer was coldā€¦Seriously, i know it was a fault that i didnt planned the time after the race. So simple, so stupid, but one thing more that ive learnt about myselfšŸ™‚

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Too all, just a short explanation about the bet. I didnt made this just to win, i really try to stop with the booze. The idea was to have an additional motivation. Its such a pitty that it didnt worked.

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I used to think too much in the future about not drinking, itā€™s good to have goals, however I only worry about today. The old saying if you have one foot in yesterday, and one foot in tomorrow, your pissing all over today! One day at a time. I have 70 days in today, I am not a Saint, but Iā€™m working my program today. Good luck my friend!

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Welcome back @ThePower :wave:t2:

Sobriety and recovery are not ā€œchallengesā€ like the ā€œcinnamon challengeā€ on YouTube. Recovery is about not dying; itā€™s about learning what it means to be alive. It requires a humble desire to learn, sustained action, and conscious changes in perspective. Recovery is something you do with the same determination as a person looking for water in the desert. It is not a fun activity we dabble in when we feel like it. It is what we do to live alive with meaning and fulfillment.

Youā€™ve been here on Talking Sober just under a year now and there is a pattern to your behaviour: you show up, describe your drinking in great detail (which is problematic; this is a sobriety forum for sharing efforts and pathways to sobriety, not a drinking-stories forum for talking repeatedly, for months and months, about how fond we were of the places we drank), repeat some trite phrases about regret, get into defensive exchanges with people on your threads, then leave for a while, drink drink drink, then come back a few months later with a new ā€œchallengeā€. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

I donā€™t know what you want me to say man. Your behaviour is not the behaviour of someone who wants to live his life healthy and present and fulfilled (sober, in recovery).

Recovery is not a joke or a lighthearted bit of fun, like making a bet about how many push-ups I can do. A push-up bet is a fun diversion, a fun challenge. Recovery is life or death. It matters in a way no ā€œbetā€ or ā€œchallengeā€ can ever matter. There are people here whoā€™ve lost children, businesses, homes, families, kidneys; there are people here whoā€™ve paid for their habit with prostitution; there are people here whoā€™ve slept under bridges; and there are people who we donā€™t see here because theyā€™ve overdosed, or frozen to death because they passed out in the winter, outside, or a million other ways an addict can die. Your lighthearted, unserious attitude about recovery makes a mockery of those peopleā€™s experiences and their struggle.

This isnā€™t a fun diversion or some pastime, man. Your attitude needs to change. I donā€™t know what to say at this point. Youā€™ve gotten the links and the advice in your earlier responses. If you treat this forum as some brunch where you share stories and faux-regret about drinking; if you donā€™t actually act on what you need to do, Iā€™m not sure what you expect.

You need to take action. You know what you need to do. Do it.

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My approach was just planning other stuff to avoid my addiction for a while too. It never worked.
Avoiding triggers is a useful tool, no doubt. But it isnā€™t what keeps one sober.

What exactly do you do to stay sober besides avoiding the drink?

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This is a really good question. So, what i do: I going to a doc, hearing sobriety podcasts and doing workout. Sport is really helpful for staying away from the bottle (Ok, Darts is a bit dangerous, but running is perfect). Do you have another good idea? im open for advice

edit: Add a ā€œisā€

Sorry guys for my bad english, i should make a refresh. Maybe another good idea for my next sobriety streakā€‹:thinking::slightly_smiling_face:

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I used to set small goals for my sobriety. ā€œOk not going to drink for the weekend, not going to drink for a week, 30 days, 6 months, etcā€ . I never was successful. Someone else in this thread mentioned just not drinking TODAY. Iā€™m at about 3 weeks sober with no end goal other than not drinking today. I feel like when you have a set end date you have already given yourself permission to go back to your old habits before you even reach your goal. I have reset my start date so many times and this time around Iā€™m trying to not even think of dates. My longest stretch (aside from my two pregnancies) in the last 15 years is 6months and I white knuckled that! It was a miserable 6 months. Now trying to focus on my health , diet, exercise, listening to self help and sobriety podcasts, just being intentional in making other positive changes in my life other than just eliminating alcohol, I have already seen more of a difference in my mental health than I did in the 6 months of sobriety previously. Every journey is different. You can do it :slight_smile:

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Both of themšŸ˜ŽThe idea was to make the 100 days, while hoping that i feel so great after that that i can extent to 180, then 365 and so onā€¦Unfortunatly, it didnt worked. Shitā€¦

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What I want to hear from you is you putting in some serious thoughts and considerations into this. Some effort. Some introspection. Alcoholism isnā€™t something that can be solved by a magic pill or a bet with a friend. Or by going to a doc, hearing sobriety podcasts and doing workout. It takes work and it takes lots of it.

And I agree with @Fridaynoon that you making light and fun of this all is disrespectful to most other people here for who it is a matter of life and death. Even while I can imagine it is your way of approaching tough stuff. This is not the place for it. Show some empathy man. And some respect.

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Where do you go from here? Your desire to get sober, so past tries, past attemptaā€¦what now?

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Back again wonder what stories you will tell this time ,go to a meeting if you want to get sober , youve no defence thats your problem you start and then give in pity you dont have the same enthusiasm that you have for your running with drinking but as usual i wish you well

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