Hey guys. Many of you may or actually may not know but I do not do AA I kinda just do my own thing. But I’m part of a sober online group and this topic came up. 13 stepping. I found it interesting and a bit disturbing if I’m honest. Anyone know anything on this? Is this for real? Just curious of peoples thoughts on the subject. 
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I always kinda wondered too… same as you, no AA doing my own thing.
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I googled it 
but was interested to see what peoples perspectives are on it. I dunno just seems really shitty to me. I just heard of it for the first time. I had no clue.
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Thanks for sharing Stella. I’m sorry that you had to deal with that. I just never really thought about it I guess… and then when it was brought up I thought to myself my God. I can totally see this happening. Luckily the good outweighs the bad. 
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One thing I found is that different meetings have very different styles and people there. The first meeting I ever went to was so weird that it made me drink even more because I told myself that if this was what AA was like, I was nowhere near as messed up as these people.l!
So if you do find someone 13th stepping you (which is such a shitty manipulative thing for them to do) , try hitting a different meeting. Hopefully you’ll find better people there.
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I used to go to the meetings which had the best looking women and where I used to get the attention to feed my own ego
If the AA members are doing what’s suggested they wouldn’t 13 step people as it can kill people
Now I’m not bothered after working the steps and recovering spiritually - I’ve heard some horror stories about 13 stepping
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What’s 13 stepping?
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I dont do the AA thing either, just stumbling my way through this my own way as well, but its worked so far. But im with Jan…what is 13th stepping?
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Simply put, the 13th Step is a colloquial term for when a 12-Step old-timer hits on a group newcomer with less than a year of sobriety. It can be for a variety of reasons — emotional, financial, physical – but either way, it’s someone in a position of power trying to take advantage of someone who is weaker.
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I use to watch a.a members to it all the time, any time a girl came in. Yes even I would check her out, but then after the meeting I would hear some of the way the men would talk about her. Sure i may of thought the same thing, but I kept it to myself. But I would watch alot of them try to hit on them which is another huge reason I left. Yeah the steps work all right 
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Wow thats pretty messed up, especially because alot of people especially new comers are told its a safe place and no judgement. Thats super messed up.
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also @Dragonflygirl82 I’m wounded, another online group😭. Jk jk lmao much love
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i used to get pestered when i first got sober i didnt want a relationship . it happens to men as well as woman
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That’s because you wore a kilt without underwear Ray
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Us AA oldtimers, and some not so old who have, as @DarrenUK points out, worked the steps, have a responsibility to call out 13th stepping with compassion for both parties. AA tradition 1 “Our common welfare should come first…” applies here.
We’re all here because we’re not all there - we a bunch of people with varying degrees of mental health and self control. But there are standards that are to be taught and upheld (not enforced).
Thanks Courtney for reminding me of my responsibility. AA saved my life, I owe a debt of gratitude.
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LOL That was over 30 years ago and had my kilt on a few times , was working out got a job had a new car that was not a thing in Glasgow at that time for a recovering alkie lol
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I haven’t been involved in AA long, a few months and now not since November due to covid.
You do see it. Not often where I go, but it happens. Thankfully at my meeting, I also see people looking out for eachother - including newcomers. If something like this is going on, it WILL be called out. I like that. People are vulnerable in those early stages and taking advantage of that is despicable.
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Thanks for the feedback everyone. I was just curious and hadn’t even heard of it until yesterday. Kinda opened my eyes a bit. @anon60334405 @Conor689908 don’t worry boys my loyalty is here. 
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