I am two months into my journey to quitting PMO, something I have been addicted too for 15 years starting since I was a teenager. I look back on my life and I don’t think there is really any traumatic or negative experiences, I just found porn at a young age and it got its hooks into me. From there I explored every rabbit hole you can imagine, something that I am struggling to come to terms with now.
I have tried to quit many times, but this is the first time I am doing it with psychological help, and while being open with my perfect wife. I have hurt her, I should have asked for help so long ago and we would not be where we are today. I have risked so much and I don’t think I will ever come to terms with the fact I risked losing her and with her my girls.
What I want to ask, is have other people who have been where I am gone from feeling fairly good to start with, before spiraling down into depressive and anxiety inducing thoughts and feelings? My initial couple of weeks were though, I was an anxious mess but I expected that. I had been doing fine for over a month when suddenly I feel like I have dropped off a cliff, that all the shame and regret of my past actions is hitting me all at once. Is this common?
I have never really had issues with depression or anxiety before, although I suspecting my use of porn and social media was my escape from any sorts of feelings. Would love to hear from others who have been on this path before me.
There are too many reasons why you’re experiencing depression and anxiety to be reduced to one thing or another.
Is this the first time you’re experiencing it, or do you have a history of it that you’ve self medicated with PMO? Quitting any addiction comes with temporary depression and anxiety. This is something that I recommend you explore with a therapist.
Are you safe; have you been experiencing suicidal ideation?
It is my first time experiencing anything close to this level of anxiety or depression, other than in the first couple of weeks of quitting. I am safe, I have people to support me but they haven’t gone through any sort of addiction. I think I am just reaching out to understand that it is fairly common to have periods of anxiety and depression.
I am working with a psychologist, unfortunately have a couple of weeks before our next session and this really kicked off not long after our last session. I have been tempted to reach out to support groups, but the material is far more religious than I am honestly comfortable with.
You’ve conditioned your brain to experience dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins, etc. frequently with your PMO addiction. Now it’s craving that, in the form of depression and anxiety. It’s trying to convince you that you need PMO.
Find those things that will replace those hormones in a healthy way. You can check this out and hopefully find some more information.
Thanks, yes it does help. I also did some reading and suspect PAWS is hitting me really hard at the moment. Something I will discuss with my therapist next time I see him.
Thanks for responding, this journey has been far different than I expected so far. Cravings have been manageable, the other feelings have been far harder and unexpected.
get this.