Hey there, I feel like you need to start putting work of introspection and exploration into your sobriety, really start recovery as a process rather than just staying away from one DOC, or else you’re going to lose that sober time and God know what else.
Meetings, books, podcasts, therapy, participate in this place - there are a million ways to start.
I think you need to kick it up a notch. What are you willing to do?