Hi, Im Jennie i live in southeast Texas. I was an addict for 17 years. I got clean May 18th, 2022 and i honestly NEVER thought i could get clean or stay clean. This is my second time getting clean. The first time i only lasted 4 months before o relapsed and only because i wanted to use! My mom used to ask me why i was so self destructive? One day everything is fine and great and for whatever reason i used to just be like “forget jt i want to do whatever i want to do!” That was roughly 10 to 12 years ago. January 2022 i had a baby boy!! NO CLUE I WAS PREGNANT! My boys are 17 years apart. My oldest i had to have a c section and had so many complications. The doctor found it easier to write a prescription for pain meds rhan to actually see what was wrong. My youngest will be 3 in January and he was born breech in the back of an ambulance and he was born addicted to everything i was. The second i heard him cry and knew he was okay i blurted everything they were going to find in his system. It was my fault and i didnt want him suffering from any withdrawals because of me. Took me 2 days before i could even go to NICU to see him and try and hold him for the first time. But he was severely jaundiced and they were tapering him off everything. CPS was the most ridiculous experience ive had to date! I understand they are there to strictly advocate for the child. But i had already asled a nurse, social worker and even the doctor if they could call or send someone up to my room to discuss adoption. I wanted him to have the best chance. CPS lady interrogated me for over 3 hours. Even though i told her i was going to do adoption. As i cried and she rudely said “how can you just give up your baby? You have to care and love him and want him since your crying!” Through hysterical and sobbing tears i told her “Of course i want to keep him, of course i love him, of course i want to raise him!” But my oldest sons while life almost was like a yo-yo and his life was up and down. And not just because i was a drug addict but because his dad is also an alcoholic. I also realy didnt believe i could get clean and sober. My baby went home with his adopted family March 7th, 2022. March 18th, 2022 i almost lost my best friend to an OD!! She finally talked me into rehab when she got out of the hospital. And ive never looked back. I never thought i was strong enough to get clean much less stay clean. I still see my rehab doctor and rehab psych once a month through my outpatient program. I need a support group. I need a sponsor. I need an outlet. And the last 2byeats ive been looking for a site like this!! Sp glad i found it.
Welcome to the community, @Jennie85, glad to have you with us and congratulations on your amazing sober time! 
If us addicts knew the answer to that, life would be a whole lot less complicated 
So glad you found us. Recovery is possible if we work it
Thanks so much for the warm welcome and kind words!! My outpatient doctors have been on me about a sponsor and going to meetings. Last time i tried meetings i didnt have a good experience. And i believe (pray im right) that doing virtual meetings and now finding this community will make up for it. I have been looking for a community for awhile snd ive never come across this site! Everything happens for a reason! And i finally found my community.
And there is an app too, just search ‘Sober Time’ in your preferred app store 
Thank you!! Downloading it now!
Hi Jennie welcome,
I never did meetings myself but what I hear from others here that they try different groups to see wich one they like the most.
But that depends on where you live I guess.
Online meetings is an option too I will share you a link where to find them:
In that link there’s also good recommendations for recovery podcasts and books. So check it out.
Glad you are here, you are part of my sober tribe now 
Congratulations for the 2,4 years! 
Welcome to TS @Jennie85 
Lotsa information, knowledge sharing here. Have a good read around and engage where you feel it vibes. Also accountable check ins like the gratitude thread and the daily check in thread. Congratulations on your sober time!
I couldnt find this website or app until just now. And couldnt have came a moment too soon.
Thank you everyone for the amazing words,selflessness, resources, encouragement, etc.
I felt utterly alone before finding yall. I finally feel like i find “my community” where im comfortable and fit.