I’m sorry about that Ang. I know it sucks. I’ve been there. If it helps, you’re still in the relatively early stages. You do gain strength and confidence and health as the months stack up, if you take the time to connect with people who can coach you.
For me I started with outpatient rehab and therapy, then I joined Talking Sober, then I joined a twelve-step group. All those helped me in different ways. What they all had in common is they helped me build a community of people who understood me and could empathize, and could coach me on the next positive step to take. I have people from all those places I am still in contact with today, and the twelve-step group is an ongoing program that helps me maintain my sobriety and flourish as a person. It’s been a transformation for me, helping me connect and foster friendships around healthy things (instead of how I used to foster friendships, which was not healthy).
None of the steps are easy but they are simple and the effects are positive.
Stay connected and keep reaching out. Read some books and listen to some podcasts about sobriety - Resources for our recovery - and join a group (same link for the list of groups).
I know it sucks. Do it anyway. 
It gets better.