I have decided to make a change in my life and quit drinking but I feel like it was just 12 hours too late. I don’t drink everyday but i have issues with binge drinking. 4 days ago I made probably the worst mistake of my life and cheated on my boyfriend of 1.5 years. He’s a wonderful man and we had an amazing relationship. I don’t know why I did it except that I was basically black out drunk. I broke up with him, thinking I could save him from knowing that I betrayed him. But he’s so brokenhearted and wants to work things out. I feel like the biggest piece of shit. I’m telling him why I really ended things on Monday. That’s the first day we’re going to be in the same city since we broke up. I don’t know how I’m going to manage to tell him. I’ve seriously been crying for 4 days. I’ve never been this dehydrated when alcohol wasn’t involved.
I didn’t really think about going out to make myself feel better. Thanks for the advice. I’m actually out of town on a business trip so I don’t have any friends in the area. I have been talking on the phone with my best friend and mom who have both been extremely supportive. And I finished rereading my favorite book. The literary therapy did me some good. I will try getting out when I’m back home.
I completely understand how you feel. I did the same thing to my gf of 2 years. We had a great relationship and I got blackout drunk at the bar and woke up beside someone else. I immediately went home and told my gf. I don’t remember what happened but I know it happened. I never thought I would do that to her. After that I went into a deep depression. I would just lay there and stare at the ceiling for days on end. Weeks went by and I never left the apartment. I wanted to die.
After that our relationship just went into a downward spiral… and eventually she did cheat on me. At first I didn’t really care. But as time set in I started feeling resentment towards her. So we decided to take a Couple weeks apart. It helped… a little bit. But we decided hey we can handle a few drinks. And she went and cheated on me again.
A week went by and we had kind of just brushed it off but it came to the surface again after we got drunk. Got into a huge fight. She called the cops and I went to jail for the night. Haven’t seen her since.
I know we could have saved our relationship before it got to this point. Had we both quit drinking at the first sign of trouble, nothing bad would of happened. Alcohol was always an issue in our relationship. Things always git out of hand. So if you have any intentions of making it work with your bf you need to quit drinking altogether as hard as it is. It’s good that you’ve already made that decision but you need to quit once and for all before it gets worse. And trust me. It does get worse.
Thank you and no matter how much you hate yourself right now you still need to love yourself enough to do what’s best for you.
Wow. That last paragraph. Instant tears. Probably because I feel like you know exactly how I feel right now. Thanks for sharing your story with me and the advice. I really appreciate it. I really am going to try.
I’ve been married ten years and trust me when I say that alcohol and a healthy relationship don’t mix. I know I’ve done shitty things drunk, a lot of which I can’t remember and probably don’t want to. I adore my wife and our children, they are my life. When I get drunk though I become someone else who is not the loving husband or father, rather a womanizing, lying, uncontrollable retardy and frankly I can’t live my life dealing with that. Sober, I’m a big hearted, morally and ethically sound individual. Take my advice and leave the drink/poison alone, it’ll allow you the freedom to have a relationship not marred by regret.
Couldn’t have said it better myself!