Also, hi, my name is Megan and I have a problem with turning advice into novels.
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I’m glad you have your opinion on the whole “God and prayer” thing. I feel the same way. It’s all smoke and mirrors. We control our own destiny. Hang in there. Be strong.
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Why a father? How about a mother?
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Yeah man try to get your stuff together. Start with little steps, do what you know you have to do. Don’t listen to your thoughts. YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS. Even the “best of us” have that bad fjcking side that tries to pull us down.
Start with little steps and get your respect back.
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I would suggest for you to check into a inpatient rehab. For 1 it will look good for the courts & for 2 it will give you a nice break to worry about yourself & picking up the pieces. I just got out of Sundown Ranch in Washington & have been sober & my life is so much better now. I went in broken & sick with the shakes & tremors. Give it a try you have nothing else to lose.
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whatever floats your boat. It can even be an object or animal if you want it to. I was just sharing how i percieve my higher power.
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That’s cool.
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That is a tool I use a lot. Reminding myself that i am not my thoughts, but can simply watch them and choose not to attach any importance to them. It’s been very helpful for me, and think it would help just about anyone.
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How are you doing? It's been a few days since you posted... are you ok?
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So I think its been like 3 or 4 days since I’ve seen daylight. I need to start a new life I hate mine. As far as a higher power goes I dont get it. I went to catholic school and I think that is where I started not to believe. I dont get or understand it,without getting to far info it. AA is something I need to get into. I am going to start an outpatient program today. Thanks for the words they do help. I dont mean to be negative but its hard 
. T
Thank you!
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Wow what a powerful true story. Thanks for sharing.
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I want to thank everyone who replied. I do need the help. Today is the day I will start my new life maby your words were what made today THE day. Your words are circling in my head. I will get back to everyone tomorrow for an update.
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Great news! You can do it!!! I believe in you. Sounds like you have made up your mind to take the right steps to get better… I’m sending good vibes your way 
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I LOVE hearing this part of your story Dan! Every time you tell it I get the chills.
As always, thanks for sharing
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That’s awesome to hear, Vincent… 
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You look like a tough guy bro. Addiction can make even the toughest guy seem weak at times. We’ve all been there. This isn’t the end though. You still got fight left. I posted a thread earlier on my favorite movies from the 80’s. My number 1 was Over the Top. That last scene speaks to me in my journey through sobriety. May seem lame, but it reminds me our addiction tries to tell us
“I OWN YOU” like he tells Hawk. Push through bro. A Man always has fight left. You ain’t dead.
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Not to derail, but I went to school with the guys that ate the cigars and drank motor oil kids. And my parents went to school with him. He and my dad where friends. Legend has it that my dad almost beat him in arm wrestling 
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EPIC!! Back then when motor oil was a supplement!
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Watch or read “The Shack” - good book / movie on God as mother.
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