This weekend is Independence Day in the USA and the first day of pubs opening back up in England. You might have been getting invitations to go out to parties/ gatherings (subject to social distancing rules where you live) and, especially if you’re newly sober, wondering how to handle this.
The first thing to remember is that you don’t have to go. How many weekends have you spent getting shitfaced? And what happened… You ended up here. This weekend won’t be different. It will be the same people, same places, same shitshow! You’re not missing anything if you don’t go.
If staying at home really isn’t an option, then try and set the terms of your social engagements. Avoid places where alcohol is sold if you’re not sure you can avoid temptation. Meet in the daytime, preferably the morning. Do something interesting!
If you are likely to find yourself around alcohol (or other doc) have a plan. Know what you will drink. Practice refusing an offer of a drink, a simple no thank you is enough. Make your own travel arrangements. Be prepared to leave early.
If you’re worried about how people will react to your sobriety - likelihood is they won’t care. You might even get some compliments. It’s only a big deal to you because you have a problem. You choose who to tell, what to say, etc. You don’t have to go into details, and you can say so if you don’t want to talk about it. Focus on being where you are and having a good time. If it’s not somewhere you want to be sober, don’t go! If anyone gives you grief for making a decision in your own interests, that says a lot about them.
If you are staying home and you are tempted… See above comment about getting shitfaced. Play the tape to the end. You know where this takes you and you don’t have to go there.
What’s your plans for this weekend? What are you looking forward to?
P.s. this thread has some great tips on how to handle socialising sober
If your in early days, staying at home should be the only option to my mind.
What are you going to be missing? The usual family drunken get togethers that end in arguments.
Do you really need that?
Me, I’m in the Peak District getting away from people while I still can.
Have you got tomatoes growing? Bet they are loving it! Although lots of watering needed. I think I only had to water the plants a couple of times in June.
My weekend starts today cos I don’t work Fridays. Have had a nice chilled morning and going to keep that going this afternoon.
Will probably catch up with a friend and her toddler, maybe go for a walk if it doesn’t rain too much.
We normally get a takeaway on a Friday night but trying to reign it in a bit because of all the lockdown lbs. So will have a homemade curry instead. Might even be fancy and try to make some onion bhajis!
First year I didn’t do tomatoes. I waited too long. something also ate all my beets except for one Good thing I’m the only one who eats them. A few carrots survived and snap peas. And lettuce I planted last year (so BunBun is happy!)
Definitely give yourself some fun options for drinks - fancy root beer is a good substitute for beer, as it comes in the same kind of glass. If you’re a cocktail drinker, think about creating a special mocktail! Last weekend, I had my first social outing with drinkers and my wonderful friend not only abstained from drinking to support me, but she made us the most incredible drink I’ve ever had - with or without alcohol. It had passion fruit puree, fresh mint, ginger beer, and seltzer water. It felt very special and helped me not feel put of place.
Also, if you’re able, offering to be the designated driver can be a good motivator. That’s what I did that night, and the people I was with were very grateful. It helped me put a positive spin on not drinking.
Sounds yummy! Mine had lime too - forgot to mention that. Yes, they are quite sugary, but alcohol turns into sugar in your body so I figure it’s about a wash. And that’s why we cut it with a bit off seltzer water
I’m a bit Fairweather.
something also ate all my beets except for one 
Good thing I’m the only one who eats them. A few carrots survived and snap peas. And lettuce I planted last year (so BunBun is happy!)