True that lol 
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Part XV
So true and a great reminder. So very grateful to be on this daily walk with Him 
100 %. All in His glory and in His vision
“Life by the yard is hard; life by the inch is a cinch.” Oh man – this gives a whole new take on the ODAAT 
Love it!
- As you voluntarily submit to every change God wants you to make in your recovery, how does Romans 12:1-2 help your know that real, positive change through Jesus Christ is possible?
- By surrendering myself and my thoughts / actions to Him I know that He will guide me on a safe and secure path. That He has my true best interest at heart and will not lead me astray. I just need to let Him in and devote myself to Him completely. With our connection I am able to walk this path of life with the positive changes he awards me. Knowing that I am not asking for anything and am grateful for whatever is given and wherever my path may lead as long as I have Him beside me.
- In principle 5 you need to ask God to help you identity the defects of character that you need to work on first. List the changes that you want to ask God to help you work on now. Will you work on them?
- Instant gratification, Short temper / fuse, Future tripping, Controlling of my life situations, controlling of my reactions to situations and how others react to my words / actions
- Working on all of these and more daily with the help of God. Praying for betterment and calmer ways of dealing with my shortcomings rather than just pushing through and staying in a sick stuck cycle.
- Gods Word teaches us that real change comes from the changing of our minds. We must take the positive action required to follow Gods direction. List the actions that you need to take to begin working on the defects of character that you listed in question 2.
Action Plan
Defect of character:
I need to stop doing: I need to stop trying to control my surroundings. I need to stop taking things so personally, I need to stop being so insecure in my abilities (I know that I have slowed down and am not where I’d like to be but that does not mean that I am not giving my best). I need to stop being so critical with myself for every little thing
I need to start doing: I need to star letting go (more so than I am doing now). I need to live in the moment and not be saddened by my past or worried about my future. I need to allow others into my life. Trust my gut more. I need to focus on prayer and surround myself with other like minded individuals.
(Meditate on Gods word, ask Him for guidance.)
- List the specific ways that you have turned from relying on your own willpower to relying on God’s will for you life.
- I am in recovery and I know that this in not my willpower. I have worked years on trying to be sober and get a good healthy routine with complete failure each time. Only when I let go and asked for help. Only when I committed myself to Him was I finally able to make that mental switch and work on my day to day recovery. I am floored when I see my daily numbers and remind myself that it was not easy this time – it really was His will!
- I am not in control of my days actions and thoughts. I am still working on fully giving up control here (even though I know I have not LOL). Funny how that works.
- What does the phrase “one day at a time” mean you and your recovery?
- Taking things as they are in the present. Not bringing the past and all its baggage into your day and not getting lost in the what if’s of the future. Working on my recovery and working on my connection with Him today and only today ODAAT!
- It has been stated that, “Recovery is not perfection; it is a process.” Do you agree with that? Why?
- Totally agree. We are not perfect and never will be. I think there is a certain beauty to that. WE are forever working on ourselves. There is always room for improvement and growth. This ensures a happy life full of goals and achievements. As we work on one thing we slowly grow and recover and most likely will find something new to tackle next. It is a beautiful never ending cycle but at the same time it is leading us closer to Him
- What does humility mean to you? How will being humble allow you to change?
- I for one know that I am not responsible for any of my positive changes. There is no “I” it is all Him. I am merely surrendering to Him and praying for guidance and help with working on my defects. Humility is knowing that we are not the ones steering this ship. By His grace I am able to work on my recovery and heal myself emotionally and physically.
“All Victory belongs to the Lord, cast him your anxieties too.”
Perfectly put
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That let go, effects not just sobriety, but throughout every day.. 
While its tough, and I deal with a lot of the same..
There will be a day, when calmness is so smooth that it became normal.
Thank you, as always, Jazz, for your openness.
Your care. Your honesty.
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Some nights, its a few sentences.
Some nights, a few pages.
But, we are in the Bible daily, without fail.
To the most high, in His glory.
Amen.
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PART 18, LAST PART OF BOOK 3 OF 4.
@JazzyS
@Butterflymoonwoman
@Amelie
@SoberVigilant
..
I was in the beginning in my 4th year sober. I was sober, but everything felt meaningless. There was no purpose, no connection, and bitterness started to sweep in my soul. Now, I wasn’t thinking about going back to drinking.
But, life, this world, wasn’t doing much. I wanted to let go and had last February. Well, no, i wasnt because i was growing slightly bitter, and very-very lost.
Nothing was enjoyable. Everything was the same. Wake up, go make money, go make more money sometimes, see my son hang laugh, and then I go lift or something.
I was in a dead relationship
In a dead time.
I gave up.
Then I gave it to God.
That started the greatest decision in my life to finally just say, I can’t do it, this is all so meaningless. I threw everything away, except my son. I said God, Im 31, here build whatever you want. Do what you need. Im done.
Ill be over here if you need me.
By May I was out of the dead relationship, by mid June, i was deeply healing from my own corrupted heart.
And, thats what Jesus did. I remember in June Crying. First time in so long I just cried.
All the brokeness was starting to build into something meaningful. No more than 3 months later, God was truly pushing me away from it all..
And, building me into His path.
..
Its not easy, but we all here can build our own personal relationship with Jesus. He gave me love, care, connection and connections i couldn’t of dreamed of. Scenarios, possibilities, oppeness and opportunities.
A place of vulnerability, and grace.
Without Jesus.
I would have become even more lost, and probably beyond bitter.
I don’t deserve the things Jesus built for me, for my family. I don’t. But, God did anyways. I know im not good enough for a lot of things. But, it isnt in my judgement. It is in His.
I’m humbled to say, I have a King.
The name with greatest of power.
In all His Glory.
For I deserve not, but You did anyways.
Thank you.
..
…
Questions.
- How has Jesus Christ used your weaknesses and turned them into strengths?
- How do you receive Jesus’ gift of Grace (Roman 5:2)?
- How can you model God, Jesus gift of grace in making your amends?
- In what ways have you experienced Gods grace in your recovery?
- Jesus loved and accepted us while we were still sinners (Ephesians 2:5). How can you model that acceptance to those to whom you need to offer forgiveness or make amends?
- In Principle 6 we are not trying to get even. Christ paid the price for all of our wrongs. What does “speaking the truth in love” mean to you?
- Why is it important that you focus only on your part in making amends or offering forgiveness?
- List some of the things that God has shown you through working principle 6.
…
Closing.
Tonight at the Church event. It was beautiful.
Thank you Jesus, for surrounding me with your love. Your hope. Your guidance. One day at a time.
I pray, dear heavenly father,
Thank you for another day. I know im not perfect, but judge my heart, and change what needs to be changed not for my benefit but for your glory. Free me, make me new, show me your ways. For my ways are crooked, for my ways lead to dead ends and sinful nights. It lead me to meaningless desires. Your way leads to truth, to Hope. I just want to thank you, even when I didn’t know you.. you kept me safe. I was always in your grace.
Amen.
…
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Beautiful. Those principle verses would be world changing, if followed by all those who profess their belief. Nation-changing. Richard Rohr reminds us that the Christ did not say: Worship Me, but he said: Follow Me. The actions speak louder than words. I think I woke up so early today just to have some extra time to pay attention! Or as it says in the Bible, to be awake, without fear.
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To you.
To me.
To all.
Have a wonderful day.
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Part XIV
- Once again you need to admit the past hurts - what others did to you and the harm that you caused others. Explain how holding on to your past resentments and guilt has blocked your recovery. Be specific.
- Funny cause for the longest time I would say I have forgiven so and so and the past doesn’t hold me hostage. A few years back I realized that I had not healed. I instead had buried everything deep. The people I felt had hurt me still continued to hurt me in the sense that when I was around them something in me ached. I was filled with anger and resentment and because I didn’t know why I was feeling this way I would act out with self harm. Self harm in the sense of trying to kill myself slowly with addiction, cut myself just to see blood and feel something different and beat on my bag till I was bruised and bloody. It was not a healthy way of living and I’m grateful that I realized the root cause of my feelings. I have since worked on my feelings and past issues with the helping hand of God. I have been able to truly forgive and move on. I no longer hold any ill will towards them or myself. I feel like I’ve been given a chance to be free and it is a very empowering feeling.
- Next you are ready to make your list.
List the names of those to whom you think you owe amends to. Then list those who have hurt you and who you need to forgive. Keep this on your mind for the next 30 days, and see what God, Jesus has revealed in that time as well. Begin praying and taking an honest account over time within our savior Jesus.
- I don’t know if I made a list but I have been going through my life and working on mending relationships. From both respects – people who have harmed me and the ones I have harmed. Some amends can not be made in person so they are heartfelt apologies and my on going actions will back up how genuine I am in my desire to forgive and be forgiven
- These amends were only possible with the help of my Lord. My Higher Power was the one who opened my heart and allowed me to truly see what was causing the pain and how to work on making things right. I know that I have not completed all my work here. With His guidance and help I know that I am on the right path and will continue to repair what has been broken
- Who do you have on your recovery support team to encourage you as you make your amends and offer your forgiveness?
- My Higher Power
- My immediate family
- Those on this beautiful thread
- What does the phrase not for them mean to you?
- Not for them? In terms of amends I would say that my amends are not meant for them but for me. Those people in my life may have already moved on and past the issue but I need to make the amends for myself and for my own growth.
- What does the phrase “don’t expect anything back to you” mean?
- For me this means that just because I am making amends does not mean that I get an automatic pass or am forgiven.
- Amends is for me to work through my stuff and my process and I have to accept that others will not be fully on the same page at the same time as me
- Timing is important in this step. List individuals who could be possibly injured from your making amends and why?
- I do believe that timing is very important. I am grateful that I was able to make amends with my grandparents before they passed. I don’t believe I would injure anyone with my amends.
- Go back to the “start living the promises” section of amends. List some of the promises of recovery that are coming true in your life!
- I am living my best life with God by my side. Living a life free of addiction and one full of devotion to Him.
- I am living a life where I am aware that we are ALL His children and treating others the way I would like to be treated.
- Freeing myself from my past. Allowing myself to move forward without guilt and shame.
100% This is a great realization
This is key. For me I stopped praying when I was at my worst or feeling the most pain cause I didn’t want Him to feel I only came to Him when times were bad. In the same we need to acknowledge Him when times are good. He really is with us through the thick and thin - the good and bad and we need to carry Him with us at all times.
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Part XVII
WOW – yeah that is a great way to see it. The negative thoughts and emotions keep us from connecting with Him and build a gap instead of a bridge.
Grateful for this. Abandonment can be a trigger for life. I mean we can forgive the ones who have left us but a part of our memory holds that feeling and a similar action (even on a smaller scale) can trigger those emotions and make us feel alone all over again. 
So grateful for the healing and growth
-
As you look at the three kinds of forgiveness, which one of them was the easiest for you to accept? Why?
• TBH all three were hard but the interpersonal forgiveness was the easiest of the three. I found that forgiving others wrong doings when I was able to empathetic and see things from their perspective. It in no way excused what they did but helped me understand where they were coming from. I did not want to carry the grudge with me and give them the power to continue hurting me. -
Which area of forgiveness was the most difficult? Why?
• Self forgiveness was the most difficult. Think I am hardest on myself and find ways to punish myself for my own wrong doings. It took me a while to be empathetic towards myself. Had to see that I am no longer that person and am making changes in my life to be a better person. -
Open your bibles, what do the words of Christ found in John 19:30 mean to you?
(This is just me writing, to this day it such a random question they writer wrote in.. I would suggest reading all of John 19, or skip) -
What hurts from your past are you still holding in? Do you have new ones?
• I honestly feel like I am letting go of the past hurts. They do not hold any power over me. Grateful to be working through my stuff and letting go of what does not serve me.
• New hurts will come up and for now it is my relationship with my brother. We had a bit of a falling out a little over a year ago and it has created a hard space to live and be in. Grateful that we are working on fixing our relationship. We have talked it out and when that didn’t work I gave it to God. I asked for some guidance and I do believe that I have received it. In the past week I have gotten my brother back. God is good -
How are you trying to let go of the hurts?
• By praying. Having faith that as I let God in then He will heal my wounds. I know that I have no control over getting past my hurt. I can keep living my best honest and loving life and have faith that God will provide me with the tools to heal -
Do you owe God any amends? When will you give it to Jesus?
• I have been working on letting go and letting Him in. To be honest some days are hard on this front when I am low on energy and high with my symptoms. These days can catch me off guard mentally and I start dissociating with God because I somehow blame Him for what I am going through. This is not fair and I am grateful that I do find my way back to Him -
How have you been blaming God for the harmful actions that others took against you?
• Not so much for others actions but I do from time to time get mad at God for what I am going through and on days when I feel like I am not healing fast enough. I feel like He has the ability to change things and don’t understand why I am where I am – then I realize that it most definitely could be a lot worse. That I have already come a long way and I would not be in my sobriety if I was not dealing with these ailments. That I don’t have the entire picture and that is ok… I will be ok. This too is out of my control and placing blame will not solve anything. It only keeps me from connecting with Him -
Have you forgiven yourself? What past actions in your past do you feel guilty and shameful about?
• Something I am still working on. I feel like for some actions I have asked for forgiveness and made changes in my behavior and will not repeat those actions. For these I have forgiven myself. The actions where I am still repeating the actions (like flying off the handle, saying hurtful things in the heat of the moment) are actions I have not totally forgiven myself for as I am still repeating them.
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It was this, Jazz, i had completely forgotten to write back days ago. I had read it at the time. I just forgot to come back.
The demons are so strong at times, to make you feel then act out direct pain to oneself is something i wouldn’t even want my past worst enemy to do.
Thd mind, to deeply desire to hurt oneself..
Im sorry to hear that you went through that, but im glad you’re here.
Perfectly written.
As the bible says, Fear, shame and guilt are not from God.
He doesn’t put those emotions in us.
Indeed.
I think it was Philippians 3:13-14:
While, to be honest, i would be angry too.
It also did lead you to sobriety.
Because who knows what would of happened if not.
I feel you on this. We do the same.
As always Jazz, for whatever its worth, i accept you.
You, your honesty, your ups and downs, you best and worst. It doesn’t matter for i knlw you’ll keep going to God. We all fall, we all get up, all that matters is we keep going.
Im proud of you Jazz.
I mean that.
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PART 19..
Start of Book 4 of 4.
@JazzyS , Morning, thank you for all you have done and continued to do. You are appreciated.
@Amelie thank you for just being you, your thought process, your bluntness and oppeness. I love reading about it. Thank you for being on TS. Thank you for joining us.
@SoberVigilant Ha, oh that music thread, to the oppeness and just being ourselves. Makes me smile. To many more days. To more joy.
& 
…
Well, what can I say?
I’ll just give thanks.
Dear heavenly father, in Jesus name. Thank you for all you have restored in me. Because of my walk with you. I have let go, let go of bitterness, resentments, sadness. Because of You, there is life in my eyes, there is trust not just in you but everyone around me. Because of You Lord, I have met incredible people in my life. You put so much good, from love, care, hope, money. You brought so many changes. You, Jesus, and only you, have saved me. I don’t have much to give you Lord, but my heart. All you built, and continue to build. It was and forever is yours. And, i know Lord, through the best and worst. I put my trust in you. You know what you’re doing. Thank you for the community You built here in this town. Thank you for bringing me to it.
Amen.
That’s what i mean when I say, Jesus did. It was not my own works or doing. It really was all Him. Just like sobriety and my son, I will never walk away from Jesus. Its everyday.
…
…
Questions..
- Before you start working on Step 10, take a moment to reflect and list some of the changes in your life that have come from working the steps and principles with Jesus as your Higher power.
How has your behavior changed since you began?
What relationships have been restored or improved?
How has your relationship with Jesus grown since you began your journey of Recovery?
List the new relationships that you have made along your journey.
- Keep a daily journal over the next 7 days. Record the good along with the bad. Write down victories and areas of needed growth. Look for patterns. Share them with your sponsor or accountability partner at the end of the week.
So, the next 7 pages of the book is Day 1 Day 2… until Day 7..
After 7 days.
What did you learn by keeping a journal?
What areas did you identity as strengths?
What areas do you need work on?
..
Closing..
While I drive, my son and I sing this in the car.
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Love the prayer that you wrote. Thank you for sharing it with us. I had to grab my Bible to look up the 1 Corinthians 12 quote, bc I didn’t recognize it immediately. It’s really appropriate when I recall ppl I have seen talking about how solid their sobriety is, and then they go out. But the next line, 1 Corinthians 13, is completely relevant too: “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.” This brings to mind ppl who won’t do the hard work bc they think they’re different or a special case. It’s all here. We just have to hand our self-will over. And get something so much better: a real place in God’s plan.
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I had meant to go back and read John 19 but realized that I had not… So to answer question 3…
- Open your bibles, what do the words of Christ found in John 19:30 mean to you?
(This is just me writing, to this day it such a random question they writer wrote in.. I would suggest reading all of John 19, or skip)
“You would have no power over me if it had not been given to you from above. For this reason the one who handed me over to you has the greater sin
-----this is beautiful as it also shows us that we should not give any more power to those around us. Only He has the true power.
* When Jesus had taken the wine, he said, “It is finished.”q And bowing his head, he handed over the spirit.
19:30 I would read that as a spirit (like wine but also our internal spirit). Taking his last breath in this human life.
13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
It means a lot Thank you so much for this space, the non judgmental security of the thread and for being a loving, compassionate being. Your empathy and love are very much appreciated
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Sending you love and hugs Melissa.
So sorry for what you and your sisters went through.
I know trauma is absorbed and released differently for each of us. I am so very sorry for the loss of your sister.
I am so grateful that you are hear and working on healing your wounds. Sending you love and hugs.
It takes time to let go of that bitter and hurt. You are doing great my friend. Beautiful song 
Thanks for sharing.
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This is what was so interesting that the wtiter of this book, just put this question, in a random spot.
John 19:30, explains in context, that this is the last moments before Jesus had died.
His spirit literally went back up.
The “it is finished” that Jesus said, in context was that all the prophecies up to that point had been fulfilled, and the one who fulfilled them was God, Jesus.
Thats kind of why i noted, probably just read all of John 19.
Anyways.
The prophecies had been fulfilled, he knew it then, drank the wine that was given to him, then died. (Then goes into the 3 days, then comes back.) Anyways.
The process before death, was confidence in knowing that all will be well, then letting go.
When one is with God.
One knows they are safe.
Thus, a major let go can happen. (Death to a new body with Christ.)
Could be some varied interpretation in the context in this book answer, while understanding the Bible.
The wine part holds more symbolism.
But, for now. This thought is an idea.
Just thought, i’d write about this mornin.
Jesus is King.
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All of this is so beautiful but this just hit a spot this morning 
. Truly thank you for the post and the further breakdown of this verse.
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Congratulations on your 5 years! And just like that, a milestone has been rolled away! I wonder how all this work, these most recent months, hit different for you. More surrenders, more peace. Glad to be on this road with you.
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