Good morning everyone. I just discovered my grandpa has less than a year to life according to the doctor’s. I struggle believing it tho. In my eyes he seems almost immortal. He was supposed to be dead over 40 years ago because of his bad heart. He still has a bad heart, he has been in a coma multiple times, he has beaten cancer a few times, he has cancer now and his kidneys only work for 40%. He survived all those other things, so my image of him being almost immortal isn’t that strange. The doctors think his kidneys barely functioning will be what kills him within a year
I don’t really think that it’s odd. I think it’s because you’re losing social skills by isolating. Isolating is addict behaviour, so if I were you id try to have a bit more social contact
Today addiction has been sneaking up on me. I was going to check the settings of my previous YouTube channel for future purposes. I am going to follow my dream of becoming a YouTuber. Not a gaming YouTuber, but a YouTuber who teaches about addiction and especially gaming addiction since there’s not enough attention being paid to that, otherwise I wouldn’t literally be the only one of about 25k people who uses this forum specifically for gaming addiction. I logged in to my old channel and forgot about cookies and recommendations on the front page. A lot of videos from my favourite YouTuber/twitch streamer appeared. My mouse stood on them for a while. All I had to do was click. Luckily I didn’t. I went to the settings. All went good after that. For the rest of the day, I’ve been thinking that gaming isn’t that evil and watching YouTube isn’t either as long as I can do it moderately. No fucking way that that’s gonna happen though.
Thanks. For now I don’t want to take the risk again, so the YouTube project on pause for now.
I picked up another project that I was working on pre-rehab. I was going to make a website about the negative effects of gaming for school, but now I’m going to change it to be about addiction. For now I’ve only worked on the looks. If you wanna see it, click here
I just learned how to do that with the linking, gosh I love programming
Had to wait 111.11 days for that.
I was planning to go for a run this morning, but it was raining. I think ill still go for a run, because the sky just cleared up. Also going to work on my website today
I fucked up big time. I have always had issues with toothbrushing. I don’t do it often, I hate it but I don’t know why. It feels as if I’m addicted to not brushing my teeth. My mind always goes, I can skip just once and then I skip more than once. 17 years I’ve had luck, but that luck has run out. My molar has a cavity that is extremely sensitive in a very painful way. I think a nerve may be in the open and I think the molar has to be removed. I have to see a dentist, but I’m terrified of the dentist. Which is also my fault since I don’t brush well. This has given me enough motivation to start brushing every morning and evening again (for now). But I fear that it’s too late
I can fix the rest of my teeth, but for the molar it probably is too late. I just went for a run, and as soon as I started breathing through mouth it hurt like hell. I’ll make a dentist appointment tomorrow and face my fear
