About the Relapses category

Relapses happen often in early recovery. Even people who have been sober for years can relapse.

Instead of being ashamed of your relapses, you should face them with honesty. They help keep you accountable and provide a good source of motivation the next time you are in temptation: just remember how terrible it felt to hit that reset button!

In this category we talk about the relapses, what caused them (triggers) and try to better understand them. This way we can strengthen our resolve for the future and avoid relapses.

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My Trigger is $ something we all need

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My triggers are many. And every single one of them are active. I must make that change. Major changes done in baby steps is really hard but doable. I had to hit my reset button again. The difference this time is I don’t feel shame but I am frustrated at myself. I won’t give up though.

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Went a whole week without drinking and because the long wknd came, I caved by saying “Its a long wknd so what’s the big deal? I’ll reset on Monday”. I feel like such an idiot. Oh and I knew I would feel like crap this morning but while I was drinking, smoking and playing games on my tablet I didn’t care. Said the same thing this morning I always tell myself, never again. Now as the afternoon goes on, I’m starting to get the anxious feeling I can’t have any wine at home for later tonight. Should have never had that first drink Saturday night…just down hill from there. I need to get a grip on myself :pensive:

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I’m not alone. Today is day one. I’ve been in the 12 step program, going on my 11th year. I’m not really a relapser, cause I have never really stopped using for long periods of time. Hundred days is the longest I’ve gone. It’s been tough, but simpler when I’m in SYNC with the program. Guilt and shame keep me in the problem, that I’ve learned. I was told to ask myself this question. What did I learn from my last use? If there is a God may he strike me clean & sober now!!

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I cant just drink one or two beers. Simple cold hard fact. Another fact i will (like book work) evenually always run to the bag. I Despise this about myself. So i must swallow the fact and embrace it, own it, that im a non user and currently in recovery. That is the new air i breath. I absolutly am that kind of person that has lost everything. All the horror stories u hear …its happened to me while high. Im done tramatizing myself. I am glad for this chat. Another tool i can put in my toolbox for those moments of weekness. Thanks everyone. Does anyone experience the feeling (i by natural laws of physics) theres no way i should of made it out alive feeling.) Well God breathed life back into me for a reason after almost dying 6 times. So its just finding out who the new me is. unfolding more as i speak! I just want to be able to help someone else w my story. Its a true mericle i made it through all the fatal experiences i had on the streets homeless and addicted and in a abusive relationship to boot. Lost my kid, my famly finaly quit talking to me they turned away in whencing pain that i just might be a lifer as my life hung in the gutter practicly. Even after all the lessons and loss i still couldnt get clean. Its clutches so tight on me. I was surly in satans imprisonment of the bonage of being Bi-Polar and an addidtion so out of control. Will my soul ever be free of the enslavement it has over me. So Its just me and mt cat and my Higher power guiding me. Take the wheel. Cus my way does not work!!! Thank you Lord that im forgiven…

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What happens when your families your trigger?

I have many triggers. Some of my family can be. Sometimes i give in and sometines remoe myself from situation. I really like thisthrea. Not that all is ok. But, I don’t feel so worthless for my relapses. Thanks for the thread. Seem less alone in my struggles well whole forum does. Today is my first day on here. Have found so muchalready that helps.

Hang in there

Relapse is part of some people’s recovery. For me, it is. I had 5 1/2 months, 1 1/2 months, 3 1/2 months. This is my 3rd time back in the Program of AA, and I have 40 days. For me, shit starting working when I started being honest and thorough. Everytime I went back out, I kept hearing “and the result was nil until we let go absolutely”. I am ready now. I surrounded to The Great Spirit (my conception of GOD) and got serious. I got a new sponser, a new home group, and I put my recovery first. I go to a meeting before work so I start out my day on the right foot. Some days are hard, some days I am at peace. I stay present. I am learning to be gentler on myself. Everyday I practice and pray. 24 hrs at a time. :kissing:

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Almost 2 days for me. Living a lie…no one knows. Stood up and got my 4yr medallion instead of a white keytag back in December.

Way to go by getting honest. I needed to here that. I too have pretended to others that I am sober since January. That is a lie. I actually have17 days today from cocaine and alcohol today. I have had 4 and a half years twice. My ego had started taking over do to my lack of honesty. Embarrassed and demoralized. I have a better understanding of how my life has changed with the help of a loving God and the 12 steps of recovery. Thank you all for being my confidants in this life. Robert T.

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My trigger is wanting to feel happy

Went five days for first time in a very long time being clean and sober.
Thought I’d be able to just have a few drinks on Friday with friends at my place been really stressed about work.
Missed work for two days cause I started Friday night and didn’t stop till Sunday at around 10 am.
I feel destroyed. Work and money are big reasons for me to relapse… So I am planning on making a change and start looking for a different job and while I’m still at my current realizing it’s just a job. And if I stay responsible and do things to better my life and make me happy with my money. Feel I won’t spent it on drugs or alcohol. I feel allot more serious this time. Been an alcoholic since I was 13, from 14 to now at 24, I’ve only gone a month once when I was 17 or 18. Have barley made it two weeks since. I’m tired of feeling helpless. I want the beautiful life I know I am capable of having.

Hey There, I’m a Young lady from Holland struggling with a smoking addiction. My writing in English is not that good but I’m trying to write as clear as possible. I’ve been 3 years clean till about a year ago. I’ve been to a rehab clinic 4 years ago and leaving the clinic I never taugt I would relapse. Well I did and it was the most terifying experience EVER… Feelin like you’ve been caught in a mole you cant get out of, no matter How hard you try. Its like the harder I Tried the more I end up in that damn coffeeshop. The weirdest part about the addiction is that youre maKing a decision to buy and use your drug of choice. But deep down inside Its not what you really want. But once I take the first, I have no control over myself and the situation anymore. I was a complete mess, feelin ashamed, insecure, not able to talk about it and not strong enough to face the reality. Untill I realize that I’veel become the old me again, that miserable person thats mean to others, arogant, manipulative, obsessed and destructive in ever wat you cant imagine . I relapse almost for a year long, becauseI was to ashamed to ask for help. But im at the point where I have to make a decision and stands by it by any means nessecary, because I know I can.
Last week I went to a NA meeting for the first time in years, after the meeting I found myself back in the coffeeshop again. Its even embarresing for me to write it down. But I know that no matter what, as long as I keep working thè steps it Will work out for me. This is my second Day without smoking any joints or sigarettes. I can use any advice or support I can get, thank you so much for reading this.
My heart goes out to all People struggling with addiction

Hello. I am wondering, do people reset even if they have one drink? I havent had one, just curious if most people go cold turkey, or just avoid being drunk? I would love to just have self control. But I am not sure that its possible. My friends who have been to rehab recommend prescriptions or tapering.

I relapsed from 8 months of sobriety. The trigger? My relationship. My reaction: overreacting. The effect: possibly getting myself kicked out and dumped. If I could go back and undo it, I would. Currently, I am looking for a new place to live and wondering if my trust issues are the concern, or my PTSD from what happened during my drinking. Either explanation led me to a habit of destruction. When will I learn? What’s to learn? Besides getting sober, I need to learn the skill of shutting up when I don’t get a need. I need tact, patience, control, self love and wit.

Yeah i hit an all time low. Did something i regret terribly. I want it to be my Last one. So the count for me is one. I just cant live with myself if i give up. And if i give in. I have to let go of all the things i never liked anyways. I just hope God restores in my life all the ties that really ever mattered. And strengthen the bond and respect with my children and family. I have faith that God has saved me from dying or worse go to prison. Im lucky im alive. Now its time to bring me back from the dead so to speak. Creat a future that is worthy of being loved and cherished. Cus no-one loves an addict/crazy person. Thats why i will try even harder this time. Bring into the picture all tools ive learned this last. year and own my recovery like its my baby.

Same here KBL. This income tax check will be a good test. But I’m ready to ace it.

Thank You for sharin, that made me feel better