I set up so many drinking rules for myself. When they didnt work, i modified them. Good luck! I pray it turns out better for you
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Thanks, Dan. I will not go as far as to say it’s never been a problem for me, since I had decided to abstain for 90 days as sort of a disciplining of myself due to something that happened (loss of a relationship), I wanted to seize control of it, because this was right around when the lockdowns were starting up too. I vowed I would not go wallowing in the misery of the loss and the forced isolations.
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Thanks, Sassy. Your advice is definitely appreciated and I will keep it in mind.
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I’ve been pondering this subject today… It made me wonder, is it possible to be addicted to being sober. This could be the physical euphoria of sobriety the feeling of control or any of the other benefits. I have found myself focussing a hell of a lot on sobriety since trying to quit which is obviously going to happen but I kind of feel that drinking is still running my life to a certain degree but this time it’s avoiding it.
I have an addictive personality for sure… So I personally think if someone is able to drink in moderation then that’s great but as many many people are saying it’s a lot easier said than done.
I don’t think this is a one size fits all situation.
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I hear what you are saying and I have pondered this myself off and on over time. I don’t want to derail this thread, but I do know that there was a time when sobriety was all encompassing for me and that at some point I tired of having to think about it all the time. Over the course of my recovery (3.5 years), sobriety is no longer in the forefront of my mind…however, I am still here at TS moderating and participating (giving back to some extent), so it is more in my mind than it would be if I were no longer on TS (if that makes sense…I don’t follow a program). I often think that the time is close for me to let TS go and see how that feels. But of course I seem to still be here. All things take time for me.
And I do agree that we each must travel our own path. 
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Whether or not one can I think only their experience can prove.
I will say, once I was resolved to remaining sober a lot became clearer. Without alcohol/substances in the equation a lot of the constant doubt and confusion were removed. I know my thoughts and actions are at least mine again and not muddied up by intoxication.
That phrase, “I’d rather go through life sober wondering if I’m an alcoholic than drunk wondering if I can get sober.”
From that alone, even if I thought I could drink “normally” I really rather just not.
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That makes sense… learning everyday!
I just read this and I’m kind of in the same boat. I passed my 12 months recently. I’m wondering if I can enjoy a beer again? How’s it going for you?
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You can only know and decide for yourself!
I know that for me, if the little voice starts going on about having a couple with friends and telling me I can moderate… I know it’s bull**** and once I let the for open to the idea even a small crack “just one night” etc… It’ll slowly slowly creep back to weekends then next thing it’s problem drinking again. I know this cause I’ve done it too many times.
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If you’re anything like me you might enjoy a beer briefly until the full blown shit show of active alcoholism shows up again.
I have personally tried moderation twice after some stints of sobriety so i know it can’t work for me. Some lessons we have to learn ourselves, but if i was a betting man i would bet alcohol beats you again. Sorry.
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I am not going to sit here and tell you that any one way is right or wrong. Who the hell am I to do that? The only thing that I can say is that, for me, moderation is not an option. Because I know that it will never be just one. It will never stop there for me. I would find new triggers…new excuses…new strategies to keep myself drinking. And, frankly, I know that moderation would lead to a bigger sink hole to climb out of than the one I dragged myself out of last time. I worked too hard to get out of the last one, thanks.
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For everyone has commented so far - although it’s such a difficult subject and I sincerely hope I haven’t triggered anyone, I appreciate EVERYONES comments on this post. I think it’s an important subject to discuss at the very least, even if very difficult to bring up.
Since this post, I still haven’t drank a single drop of alcohol! Even with the COVID pressures, it hasn’t crossed my mind since this post. Jealousy is a strong emotion, but thankfully I didn’t let it get to me.
I think one of the other reasons I wanted to discuss this issue was simply because for me at least, if I don’t have alcohol, there’s always something else I become addicted to. Since I got sober, it started off with an addiction to energy drinks, for a while I actually got addicted to healthy eating, but after lockdown, now it’s chocolate! I guess we all have our own battles, but eating too many chocolate bars won’t cause me to potentially harm innocent people while driving under the influence.
This group has been so essential to my recovery, I sincerely hope everyone continues to share their thoughts and their stories - it’s truly inspiring, especially for someone who NEVER thought she would almost be 2 years sober.
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Wow amazing! I’m really glad you didn’t go back out. This is a great topic for discussion because it crosses all of our minds at some point. Congrats on almost 2 years
So great to see you back and congratulations on your 2 years!!! Amazing!!
Everyone is different. Moderation does not work for ME, as I can only speak for myself. I know people who can buy a 6 pack, and have it last a week or two, having only 1 or 2 every few days. Not me. If its in the house, I will drink it. I tried going out and having only 1 or 2, and that just led to me wanting more. If you can do moderation, more power to you. I’m just gonna go back to my Sprite and keep working on me.
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Totally get what you are saying here about trading your drinking addiction for other addictions.
I an a person that is isnt very good at moderating. The difference with an alcohol addiction for me was that it didnt allow me to do anything else without alcohol being a part of it. If alcohol couldnt be included in what I was doing then my mind was most consumed with when I was go ing to be able to drink again.
Now that I am sober i am addicted to investing and stock research something I am passionate about and enjoy. It still also allows me to do other things like spend quality time with my family every once in awhile.
I also had picked up energy drinks for about the first 90 days. Eventually it was easy to see that it was affecting my health and I quit.
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I’ve been where you are many times. Moderation hasn’t worked for me. But that doesn’t mean it won’t work for you. I agree with other posters about looking at the reason(s) you quit in the first place. I also recommend reading “This Naked Mind” by Annie Grace. It explains how the body processes alcohol and it’s effect on brain chemistry. Very helpful. Good luck. 
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I just saw this thread pop up and clicked on it. I re-read your original post and was like, I remember that post, I wonder whatever happened to her?!?!? Glad to hear you’re still sober, that’s awesome!!
Great to see you Ally, and great to see you sober too! @LEEJR I think enjoy might be the key word here. I know I wouldn’t. There’d always be that nagging feeling that it’d be the first of many. I just know I’m an addict. I lost the enjoyment in alcohol once I became one. Congrats on a full year and success on your journey Lee.
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