Thank you for raising this topic, as it is something I’ve thought about too. I am in the camp of if you can moderate and really do it, then do it. But you’ll have to define it for yourself. Like is it only going to be the rare social celebration and only that? I definitely am attracted to going to a restaurant and having dinner with a glass of wine with friends.
For me, and many here will say I just totally fell off the wagon. My record was 90 days. Currently, I am strictly one 6 oz glass of wine a night and am doing fine. My restriction during social occasions is yet to be determined, but I vow to never get smashed again.
Moderation what does that word mean im all or nothing .it’s only taken me 20 years,4 detoxes ,3 overdoses,to come to the understanding I can’t do any kind altering drug or drink in moderation.personel view.
Oh, I hear you there. I tried that for years. After I tried the 1 glass of wine a night and it ended up being 2 or maybe 3, oops a bottle. Well then I tried 1 glass every other day or just on weekends. So I switched from the red wine to white. That worked for a bit as well, til it didn’t. There is more…I tried all that bargaining and moderating for years and years trying to figure out how I could drink. I never really looked at why I thought I needed to, other than everyone was and so I should too and it was just the way life is. It was REALLY hard for me to give up that idea that drinking was relaxing or a stress relief. I have no answers, but I know all that didn’t work for me. Eventually I would wake up from a blackout again and vow x-y-z and begin the cycle again. What a hamster wheel of a life.
That is simply my experience, you have your own of course I wish you happiness and health.
I will add that since becoming sober, I no longer have to think about drinking anymore or how I can do it successfully. My brain was pretty filled with all that for a very long time, so it is 100% a relief to no longer have all that anxiety and questions rolling around in my head.
Abstinence is the only 100% guarantee. I tried moderation as my alcohol abuse became problematic. Sometimes I actually stopped at one or two, but sometimes I didn’t. This evolved to sometimes I couldn’t. The odds of me getting drunk increased with every drink I took.
Fools weigh the odds. The wise weigh the stakes. The only odds I will weigh when it comes to alcohol are 100%, because the stakes are my life, and everything that makes it worth living. So I go with the “sure bet”: I won’t drink, because I don’t drink. I am a non-drinker.
Do you think about that glass of wine during the day time? Are you sad when it’s gone and can’t have anymore?
Sure i could totally moderate if i drank today but i would instantly be thinking about the next time i could moderate and before i knew it I’d be drinking and driving 86 miles home everyday.
I tried moderating, i guarantee almost every single recovering alcoholic has. If you can moderate and your not obsessing about alcohol while doing it you are not an alcoholic. If alcohol is heavy on the mind while attempting moderation it’s a big red .
Well aren’t you the lucky one. Alcohol is not a bad thing and many people drink without a problem but there are those of us who are ill, we have an over powering obsession to put pretty much any kind of shit in our body and not know why we can’t stop. We don’t know the answer bc we don’t understand the question, are we asking not to enjoy it are we asking to stop it are we asking to moderate it, like I said it’s not a bad thing and we don’t have to change it. What we have to change is ourselves, I don’t pick up to party I don’t pick up to be the centre of attention and give me courage I don’t drink to be social or funny, I’m none of these when I drink I’m lonely and quiet. At the moment though I’m able to sit with myself and be comfortable with that, I’m alone right now but I’m no longer lonely, I’m not searching for the answer any more bc I’m living it. I am the solution, we are the solution. If you can moderate like my Mrs can bc she’s not ill then you won’t even believe that the problem exists. She doesn’t need to ask the question ‘is it OK to moderate’
Technically alcohol isn’t a “good” thing either. Any given person would be better off without consumption. If we see alcohol as good some will feel like we’re being deprived. The only thing that suffers from abstinence are the judicial system and alcohol companies😉.
It is actually poisonous to our bodies, like cigarettes, vaping and such. Now Marijuana and medicinal benefits, that’s a whole different story. A key to my sobriety is perception. Just my 2 cents.
I’m over a year myself. I can’t do moderation. I tried and tried before Plus, it doesn’t work. It’s a ni e thought but it pans out. I know from experience. Plus, I wouldn’t want to give up those days I have. Best of luck in whatever decision you choose.
I do believe the problem exists in general. I’ve experienced a friend who died from drinking themselves to death. He went to Betty Ford and the works. I also have been around a person who has been put through rehab at his partner’s expense, with no sense of responsibility or accountability for his actions.
That’s great that alcohol isn’t a problem for you, some people just get it a rut and are problem drinkers for a little while and grow out of it. Wish you the best.
I wish you happiness and health.
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