Maybe someone can shed some light on this topic. I struggle with acceptance which I heard is an important part of recovery. Accepting people, places, and things as they are I can sometimes do. But I just feel like if I accept myself as I am, than why would there be a need for change? It’s usually the things I dont like/cant accept which pushes me to change. For example… If I accept myself as being an addict then why would i change it. Or if i accept myself as being the weight i am, then why would I change it? Why is acceptance important for recovery? I’m genuinely curious about this 
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I find a lot of wisdom in this reflecting on the serenity prayer.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference
So where’s the wisdom? What I can change: My thoughts, attitude and actions. What I can’t change: Almost anything else.
There are some situations I can (and often should!) take action to change. But I’m never fully in control of the outcome. That’s really important to accept. I can do my honest best, but it’s still a great big world. So I may still have to adapt.
If ever I face a conflict, thinking about what I can do differently is effective. To me that includes other people’s statements if I’m being a PITA even when I don’t think I am, lol. Maybe I’m missing something that keeps leading to that conflict.
My experience is sticking to what I can change means not wasting cycles getting spun up about what’s outside my control. That s–t is toxic! How often did I drink over things because they didn’t go the way I wanted? All the time.
To me, learning to really stick to what I can control (me) and accepting everything else was a game changer. It brings a lot of peace I never had while drinking, and therefore keeps me way less interested in a drink.
Not to mention, just keeping track of my own inventory is a much shorter list of s–t to be worried about if I’m staying on top of it. And for me it’s definitely led to better outcomes!
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Something I have also wondered about!
Some interesting thoughts here 
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Hmmm Oh okay! I think I understand. So by accepting where I’m at right now… I can begin to change instead of fighting it. If I accept myself as I am, I can then begin to change what I dont like. If I dont accept it, I’m fighting it… I think i get it! Sounds like you really know your stuff when it comes to acceptance and recovery I can understand the idea of accepting people, places, and things and why to do that. But acceptance of myself was a whole other story.
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Good topic and great responses thus far! Acceptance is so key. Especially myself… Loving who I am and even more the person I am becoming everyday! Knowing that I can only change myself and with prayer, hope, and love others may follow. Especially with what the world is facing in the midst of pandemic we all need a little more acceptance, patience and love! My own selfishness is 3 months today! My fellow alcoholics and addicts thanks for all the love and support! As well as the normies looking for guidance. We all stand together!
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Accepting something the way it is for now doesnt necessarily mean there isnt room to change it or make improvements or discard it altogether. It also allows us to make better informed decisions for our next potential steps so below.
Do I accept that I am an alcoholic and drug addict?
Yes or no?
Do I deem this to be acceptable behaviour?
Yes or no?
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There’s a story in the big book called Acceptance is the Answer.
Good story. It’s around page 415. You u can google it. But here’s the quote from it that a lot of people like
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I think I understand what you’re saying… Using negative motivation for change. Like…I hate how I look so I’m going to workout obsessively, or I don’t want to look like a failure so I’m going to do XYZ even though I hate it.
I struggled to be “accepting” of who I was but still make changes. I had to let go of all those really deep seeded stories I told myself. I had to stop giving into to the negative motivation.
I’m not really sure how long it’s taken me to make that change. I hated myself for a long time, I just didn’t think I deserved to be happy. Once I started to forgive myself and love myself, I started to find the positive motivation for change.
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Was just reading a chapter this evening and it seemed to me about acceptance,here’s a snippet.
"FINDING THE LIFE UNDERNEATH YOUR LIFE SITUATION…’ Certain things in the past didn’t go the way you wanted them to go. You are still resisting what happened in the past,and now you are resisting what IS. Hope is what keeps you going,but hope keeps you focused on the future,and this continued focus perpetuates your denial of the NOW and therefore your unhappiness.’ " (or un-acceptance)
“Forget about your life situation for a while and pay attention to your life.”
“Your life is now.
Your life situation is mind stuff.
Your life is real.”
From The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle.
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I think how straight forward u made it that helps alot. Thank you!
So for me it wasn’t until I fully accepted to my innermost self that I was an alcoholic that I was able to start to recover.
An alcoholic by definition is someone who has lost their ability to drink like a normal person. I had to fully accept this or I would never be able to quit drinking. If I didn’t then I always would have found an reason to keep drinking. There would always be another excuse. Another experiment
So by accepting I was alcoholic I didn’t have to try to keep drinking anymore. I was finally able to surrender that fight. That fight that I was never going to win. And that was pure freedom!
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This is my story as well. There was freedom and so much power in that one act of acceptance. It was the moment my life changed forever. I now practice this form of acceptance in my daily life. It will always be the best gift I recieved in recovery, and possibly my whole life.
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I couldn’t accept myself, let alone forgive myself for the past and current character flaws.
Ive learned over the last 7 months that if i accept i have an illness i can accept a treatment for that illness. For me that treatment is Narcotics Anonymous. I do stepwork, stepwork is actually nothing but an amazing tool for reflection.
It asks the tough questions and also lets you see whats beneath the sorrow the pain the selfhate and the selfrejection. Over the course of those 7 months i can say. I love myself so much more then before. I believe that is souly tocthsnk to the fact i can accept i am not as perfect as id like.
I am just as human as the next person.
Work work work and the love will follow.
I find many things in my life that are unacceptable. What I can change I do. What I cannot I accept. I doesn’t mean we are a carpet for those to dust their feet on.
The thing is knowing when to practice acceptance hence the Serenity Prayer.
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This is why I said that you were a major influence on my journey Gabe.
I have said it before, but I made my peace with the fact that I am a alcoholic. And that for me to drink is just not an option, not if I want to keep my life as is.
Once I stopped fighting this and accepted who I was sober life became so much easier.
Now, I simply an not a drinker.
I don’t drink.
You as well Megan @Meggers.
You both set me on this path of acceptance when I started.
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And 500 days later, eh?
Holy cow man! Look what some acceptance of your reality gets ya
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Certainly does old chap.