Welcome! I was a binge drinker as well and was very familiar with the shame regret drink cycle / roller coaster. It is a sucky way to exist.
I had to step into my own power to get sober. Own up to the mess I was perpetuating and find some self confidence, self esteem and self respect again. I did that one day at a time of not drinking and with the huge assistance of this app, lots of reading, activity, changing my day to day and getting honest about what my drinking was costing me. One book I found particularly helpful was This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. It helped me get real on what alcohol was offering me and what it wasn’t.
Meetings help a ton of people, but I can’t speak to that experience, as it isn’t something I pursued.
Hope to see you around. Tips…don’t drink today. Read all sorts of threads here.
This thread is also full of wisdom…