Action for Happiness - Self Care September 2019

A couple of days late, but this month’s Action for Happiness is Self Care September. And this month it’s all about the magic that is acceptance.

“No-one’s perfect. But so often we compare our insides to other people’s outsides. Dwelling on our flaws - what we’re not rather than what we’ve got - makes it much harder to be happy. Learning to accept ourselves, warts and all, and being kinder to ourselves when things go wrong, increases our enjoyment of life, our resilience and our well-being. It also helps us accept others as they are.”

Join in every day or dip in as and when you want!

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DAY 3

Free up time in your diary by cancelling any unnecessary plans.

This is a good one for me. I am really working on ideas about my ego at the moment as I get ready to leave my job. I need to hand things over and let go of the urge to be involved in everything. Focus on getting things tidied up for whoever comes after me and not worrying about what they might think of the work I’ve done.

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I only have one thing on my plate today, an appointment for my car routine service. I am resisting the temptation to add to my list because I’ll be in town and will be driving so far already. I think I’ll use the WiFi at the dealership to find a daytime meeting! This challenge, taking the time to be a “human being” rather than a “human doing” (per Wayne Dyer) is a hard one for me. I’m having to rethink it all, and even more so as I begin step work. My life and livelihood have for so long been competition, first academic with the score kept in peer reviews and citations, now in sports. And suddenly I care about process and longevity more than “results”. What’s the saying, “We are too soon old, and too late smart”? :thinking:

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Are you changing careers?

Changing jobs. Still working in the same field (fundraising) but with a different charity and a more senior position :slight_smile:

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Yes to a human being not a human doing! I also find this hard. I (most of us?) get so much of my identity and validity from my actions and the way I interact with others. I think being aware of that, as well as being aware of how hard a habit it is to break, is a pretty good first step.

Did you find an online meeting?

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DAY 4

Forgive yourself when things go wrong. We all make mistakes.

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Better yet, I found an in-person meeting! A good one. I’m going to need self-forgiveness in mind today, and to be really careful to stay in my own lane. I need to let go of a piece of the past that still claims way too much of my attention and energy. I picture you pitching charitable gifts over fancy foods, is it like that sometimes? :hugs:

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I don’t know how to do this yet. I like the idea, but have no idea how to internalize it

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My thoughts on this:

First, I think it’s important to work out if there’s anything that can be done to right the mistake. If so, do that! Then with whatever is left…

I think it’s a bit about ego. Why should I expect to be able to do things that I would never expect of others? Would I tell a friend it doesn’t matter, and not to worry etc or would I be horrible to them? I would probably be nice and say it doesn’t matter, life will go on.

I also try and think about how important this will be next week, next month, next year. This does require a bit of distance between you and your emotions. So it might be after a bit of a cry or a freak out, when there’s been time to take some breaths and be back here now.

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I like this!! I Need to learn to do it

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It is very occasionally like that! But not often. There is a lot of writing plans and proposals and doing presentations. I’m going back into the health sector so it will be more emotional but more personal too, I’m looking forward to that!

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DAY 5

Notice what you are feeling today, without any judgement.

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I’ve been trying to notice all of my internal dialogue lately. It’s shocking the neverending patter we feed ourselves! Today was a lot of what I call “technical” riding, fine tuning, so that if a butterfly lands on my left shoulder, my horse notices the extra weight, and bolts to the right. It was funny to see where my concentration wandered. As they say in the rooms, in my head, by myself, is a VERY dangerous neighborhood!

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I thought I replied to this :thinking:

I think the hard thing is to notice how I’m feeling without judgement - if I’m sad I’m ungrateful, if I’m happy I’m wondering how long it will last. Human being not doing!

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Where did day 6 go?! Haha I slept in yesterday and then working from home, dinner and bed. Remembering that it’s ok not to be ok is good for every day though. So straight to…

DAY 7

Plan a fun or relaxing activity this weekend and make some time for it.

I’m actually going on a walk with my mum tomorrow where we will hopefully see some seals! I really need to do a long walk today but I am first going to sit in my garden, read a book and do some chicken watching :chicken::face_with_monocle:

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I am hoping to go for a hike with a new friend this afternoon, although the weather is a little iffy. Maybe we will have tea instead as a backup. Otherwise, I am happy to not be packing too much activity into today. It felt like the week was busy and I need some down time.

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I’m going to fill the bird feeder with “Chickadee Delight” and watch birds. Maybe do some odd pruning and gathering of kindling. Yesterday was very stressful, so I’m going to re-center and hit my favorite ladies meeting, even though I’d rather not drive so far.

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DAY 8

Remind yourself that you are loved and worthy of love.

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Today I worked outside, and a pair of cedar waxwings brought their three babies up by the house, into a sense butterfly bush. They’re feeding them from the native ribes plums nearby. Smile, God loves you can really be a thing!

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