Since I have joined this community and started the work of trying to quit the drinking at night and every restaurant,I have come to realize that alcohol is all around. Even during the pandemic when everything shut down, the beverage stores were allowed to remain open. Guess itās essential. My point is that this decision has made me realize how available, accessible and present it is. At stores, parties, friends and families homes, restaurants, events, gas station, fancy boutiques, pharmacy stores (CVS, Walgreens). I just hit reset on my Sober time and this realization forces me to bear in mind that it isnt the access that is my problem, it is the discipline and self control I need to avoid the temptions, especially when the craving waves hit, my anxiety is high or insomnia is getting the best of me.
I am learning that carbonated drinks help.
I would love to hear what others do, to keep from purchasing when you are out and having a glass with family and friends.
I took 3 months away from anything that involved drinking to give myself a solid startā¦no outings with friends or family where there was drinking around, avoided alcohol aisles in the supermarket and the off licences i used to frequent then after 3 months once i felt a bit more secure in my sobriety i allowed myself to be around it again but only with those who knew my struggles and were supportiveā¦yeah its not fun to cut yourself off but i figured whats 3 months in the grand scheme of things, now im pretty much not interested in being around those drinking id rather go out for lunches instead or days out, drinking really is not the be all and end all we think it is
I use this coping method from the Annie Grace book. When I see people drinking or find myself walking past the wine isles, I consciously tell myself, āI donāt have to drink, and thatās awesome,ā instead of the, āIt sucks that I canāt drink.ā
It takes a bit of practice, but now the little twinge of envy at peopleās wine glasses rarely appears.
Once you truly understand that alcohol is poison and will hurt you, it is liberating to live without it.
It takes work to change the mindset and change the habits. After that it is keeping yourself in a state of being mindful that you have freed yourself.
After a while it is not such a feeling of being disciplined as it is a feeling of being clear to yourself that you are worth being free of the poison and danger.
The book āThis Naked Mindā by Annie Grace can help with this.
This weekend I will have 18 months of freedom accomplished. It has been a bit of learning and work to change my mindset and habits. Itās so worth it!
I look at it like like thisā¦ alcohol like so many mind altering substances is everywhere and ready available. Alcohol is literally on tap, not only that but its so socially acceptable that in todays world it is almost seen as a defect of character if your not drinkingā¦you must be boring right!
Alcohol for most people (non alcoholics) is seen as a fun, acceptable drug that enhances the feelings and time shared with others.
Alcohol for the alcoholic is his/her solution. Its very easy to stop drinking alchohol, it does have to be done very carefully depending on how much you are drinking and how often but its easy enough to stop if you want toā¦the battle is staying stopped.
If alchohol is causing enough problems for you in your life and you want to stop ā¦then you do stop ā¦but you start again the question is why is alcohol becomming and option. Usually because something is happening for you and that could be emotions, stresses of life, complacency, bordom ā¦so then alcohol becomes your solution again.
The first drink is the one that will get us, so the work that is required is to come to understand that we are powerless and then see how how are lives are unmanageable. They are of course unmanageable because even though we admit we are alcoholic and drinking doesnt work for us somehow it always becomes an option when stuff happens in our lives like emotion, anger or resentment, boredom etcā¦
Once we can see this for what it is, see where it comes from and when its triggered and most importantly own the fact that this is an internal piece of work then at that moment alcohol wont be your solution. If you practice this, internal work looking at self, accepting self as you are warts and all then you dont need to use alcohol as a means of escape.
To answer your question simply, do the internal work and alcohol wont be an option no matter where you are in that moment. Shop, garage, pub or arthur guiness house!
Was told in early sobriety that staying away from any were were there would be booze till i got strong enough to be there and not have any cravings , as for booze its every were have to go to the moon if you want to avoid it , wish you well
Hey Pam! I would say the majority of the women I was in rehab with, including myself, were there for wine/boxed wine alcoholic drinking. Many progressed to vodka in the final months, some didnāt. Wine has a high alcohol content, and is every bit as destructive as other alcohols. One thing I know for almost certain is that this will only progress.
Drink by Ann Dowsett Johnston
This Naked Mind by Annie Grace
We Are The Luckiest, Laura McCowen
Guess what these ladies mostly drank? WINE.
Also, there is self-discipline involved, but thatās a minor component as I focused on long term sobriety and joined many sober communities for ongoing friendships and support. Iām 2 years sober after struggling for years. My will power let me down, my willingness to do whatever it takes to get and stay sober saved me. I devoured books, meetings (both in person/virtual), podcasts, therapy, IOP focusing on the neuroscience science of alcohol addiction and emotional sobriety.
Iām SO glad you are here, as hearing from others who struggle like I did keeps me sober. This community continues to be a major tool in my sobriety toolkit.
Itās present everywhere and that points to a inner change. We canāt change the surrounding atmosphere but we can work on our compulsion. Little by little with support group
Alcohol is everywhere. It should be illegal, but there is too much money to be made from attractively packaged poison, so it will never happen. You will see the cost of it go up alright, under the guise of āminimum costā apparently to benefit the health of the public. Itās absolute
There is no point going sober based on will power alone. If you try will power alone, you become a ādry drunkā. Itās only a matter of time before something pushes you over the edge. If you feel like youāre missing out because others are drinking and you ācanātā, then you still believe that alcohol gives you something.
You have to believe in your head and your heart that alcohol is no good for you, and your life is better without it. Not a mind over matter thing, you must genuinely believe it.
I avoided all events the first months of sobriety. That included Thanksgiving and Christmas with family and friends. When I went out to eat, I only went to restaurants that didnāt serve alcohol. If we donāt put ourselves in situations where thereās drinking, the probability of a relapse is reduced significantly. Missing out on a few dinners with friends is not the end of the world. I can assure you, a year from now no one will remember.
Yes, they were considered essential. Hospitals were not equipped to handle the numerous alcoholics that would have gone into withdrawal in addition to covid patients.
I wrote a break-up letter to Alcohol. And anytime I get a craving, I read that letter. Also, when I encounter Alcohol at the stores, I give it the finger! (Yes, i flip off alcohol) and keep walking. I think about all the wrongs, and all the right sobriety has given me. Break-up and flip off Alcohol has been good.
I finally had to understand that I canāt do it like this: avoid alcohol around me.
Itās not possible. Here you can buy tiny bottles of Rum or Vodka in every checkout area of every grocery store. Even at work there is alcohol in the fridge (for parties) or in the office of my boss.
I canāt hide at home forever right? And even if I would, I could order it online!
So I had to learn that I have to be consistent in not picking up that first drink. Nobody and nothing can force me to drink. Yes, sometimes the shit hits the fan. I had quite some days / weeks when I felt like not being enough, being a failure, I was sad and depressed, I had a shitty time at work, etc. But nothing of those things justifies drinking again. I have to learn to deal with this sober. Because if I try to ācureā this with alcohol Iāll downspiral pretty fast and sit in front of my Dr. again with the worst physical pain Iāve ever been in.
It is as you said, discipline and self control. You decide if you drink or not, nobody else.
After I understood that I had no problem if folks around me had beer or wine or anything else. They can drink whatever they want. All I have to do is say āNo, thank youā.
At some point in this journey, I came up with a little trick that helped me. Whenever I go to a restaurant to meet friends, and I feel that twinge, I picture a glass of sparkling water with a lemon in it. In my mind, thatās how I think of it. I let go of all the mental gyrations and simply picture what Iām going to order. It helps to stay out of your mind. It will get easier, I promise you that.
I didnāt go anywhere near it for well over a year, close to 2 (except a couple of weddings for family). Dive headfirst into your recovery, work on it everyday.
I look at alcohol and I literally see bottles of poison. Andrew Huberman a neuroscientist at Stanford did a two hour episode on what a nasty piece of work alcohol is. I also like Allen Carrās example of alcohol as a Venus Fly Trap and everyone (alcoholics and non alcoholics alike) as the fly.
Iām back on after a two year relapse and Iām feeling stronger this time. Iām on day 11 and Iāve told my book club guys (mostly a drinking club) that I wouldnāt be joining them this month or probably for at least 2 or 3 months. I didnāt tell them yet that Iām not drinking, but they know that this time of year for me is very busy at work and I often have to work into the evenings and weekends, so at this point thatās what they suspect.
Basically Iām avoiding anything like that, that can trigger me to drink. I donāt so much have an issue with going out for a luncheon and the restaurant serving alcohol because even as a drinker I often didnāt drink on such outings.
My bigger issue is on the home front, especially warm sunny weekends where sitting poolside has long meant margaritas, mojitos, and pina coladas. I made it through my first weekend by planning some pretty kick ass NA cocktails to enjoy. As someone into mixology in general, Iām having fun coming up with NA drinks for such occasions.
drinking at night and every restaurant,I have come to realize that alcohol is all around. Even during the pandemic when everything shut down, the beverage stores were allowed to remain open. Guess itās essential. My point is that this decision has made me realize how available, accessible and present it is. At stores, parties, friends and families homes, restaurants, events, gas station, fancy boutiques, pharmacy stores (CVS, Walgreens). I just hit reset on my Sober time and this realization forces me to bear in mind that it isnt the access that is my problem, it is the discipline and self control I need to avoid the temptions, especially when the craving waves hit, my anxiety is high or insomnia is getting the best of me.
