Thankyou @LeeHawk , lately I have the feeling of dread in my stomach which I used to cover up with drink . the feeling soon goes tho and I walk out the other side feeling alright.
7 months and grateful to be sober and with a clear head, …had a few wierd days of stress where there were fleeting thoughts, probs just to escape the pressure of learning new things and doing lots of homework!..
University is good, I enjoy it and I’m not causing trouble!..
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Been feeling odd last few days and had thoughts creeping in again…study last week was intense last week and I finished a bit of coursework,I’m not sure if I just need to learn to switch off from study or something, cos everytime I study intensely and then have a day off, I feel guilty for not studying yet I know my brain needs a break from it… Then thoughts creep in,
Bad headache today. . Its made me re evaluate my eating habits, I stopped caffeine a week ago, my energy levels are shockingly bad cos I eat mostly sugar and crap. Crisps, Biscuits, chocolate, not good.
So next weaning off sugar , the obvious culprits first of all. Chocolate, biscuits, sugar in decaffeinated tea.
Hi there, almost sober twin. I’m long past my intense studying days, but you do definitely need to take a break. From my experience, at a certain point, my brain just couldn’t absorb the info efficiently enough to make it worth the time to continue studying. I have to get outside for fresh air or just take a drive. Thanks for posting an update!
Haha. Thanks!..I’m in my 40’s and study is hard,
Just a couple more assignments this semester. Woop woop.
I took this screenshot before I picked up a bottle of red wine i made a decision to drink. I didn’t like the taste and drank against my will. I had been struggling for a couple of weeks and not been able to cope with feelings of despair. Cash flow has been very thin and I haven’t got a 
tree yet and only just got my 3 kids presents with some left for food (Christmas dinner)
Fortunately my dad rang ( he’s gonna help me out) and asked why I didn’t say anything. The same why I didn’t reach out for help to stop myself from picking up…
I’m glad to be on day 1 today. I need to recover something and starting again will hopefully help me recover that thing to get me over hurdles.
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I’m sorry to hear you decided to try drinking again. You are quite aware that it was a conscious choice, contrary to what you wanted. I’m glad to hear it didn’t improve anything, I need to be reminded of that.
What you were doing to cope for the past 7 weeks wasn’t working - you wrote about thoughts creeping in at that time and they seemed to have gotten more intense. There are plenty of suggestions here about ways to grow your sobriety. I wonder if maybe the previous 7 months you were “on a pink cloud”, subject to that euphoria so many of us experienced in early sobriety. It’s easy and tempting to mistake that feeling for the change needed to recover from alcoholism.
Please don’t despair, know that while your brain might be screaming for more alcohol, you do have tools to use to strengthen your sobriety. The physical part of the addiction hasn’t kicked in yet. The obsession has been eating at you since early November, though. To get past that myself, I had to pray for guidance, do what was suggested and what was in front of me regarding AA step work, and get it off my own head by trying to do for others, like making coffee at a meeting or calling sometime in sobriety to just check on their day.
The worst thing I could tell you right now is “You got this”. It’s abundantly clear that you don’t want to rely on yourself, that you want to reach out for help. I will tell you that everything is gonna be alright, that you will be able to stop drinking and have peace of mind. We just don’t know what that looks like right now.
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I second @SinceIAwoke Dan. Yet, I am not quite sure what I feel. It is good you being honest with your decision and being back right away.
At the moment what is helping me the most to get through the struggles, is coming here, reading about where I came from, to keep it present as I tend to forget quickly. And playing the tape through which scares the shit out of me.
I hope you will find a Christmas tree you like and huge respect for your studies.
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Thanks for the support, and the words of wisdom.
I’m feeling much better, don’t know why.
I’m not craving alcohol, my head is in a better place than it was yesterday.
I have a tree up and found one for a fiver!.
I think about how horrible it tasted and how I kept drinking it.
I have told my sponsor, I’m relieved to be on day one again to be honest. I’m not perfect and not striving to be…
I’ve got to find the Time during term time to keep in touch with sponsor for step work. That’s the goal.
I have been quite short tempered and stressed and that’s been me for a few weeks. Lots of stuff to look at again but I’m glad about that 
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Just for today; " I want to change. By working the steps, I will counter fear and denial and find acceptance needed to change".
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One day at a time.
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Spoke to my sponsor today, was so good to see her, ( only Whatsapp video call, I’ve never met her in person but she’s brilliant and makes me laugh and I hear her, and she’s supportive) I’ve hardly seen her in 3 months. .
I did a few more step 3 questions, got honest, and doing the last few questions for next week’s meeting with her…
Grateful to be sober today 
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I reread this post, thankyou for the words again, . I am today day 3 and moving forward, daily practice must be priority, I don’t want to feel like I did the last month I was sober again!. Constant anxiety and worry, mood swings, and overwhelming feelings, feelings of despair that I wasn’t good enough for the course I am studying, not good enough to be a mum, not good enough to have enough money to get through Xmas for presents and without a fridge!. It was a downward spiral in itself… The Brandon Novak documentary showed me that the alcohol wasn’t the problem, it’s me that’s the problem!.
My head is getting back together, I’m on a normal positive, . Moving slowly forward and I like that . Keeping my thoughts just flying by like fluffy clouds instead of like big dark thunder and lightening
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Day 2, still here, grateful to be here, anxiety is crap. I’m in a online meeting, . Meetings everyday, connect with at least someone in recovery everyday, pray to HP everyday,
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You can do this, ODAAT. it’s good that you are checking in here.
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Thankyou for being there. Just was in a 2 hour online meeting, start to finish, and shared a bit too. . Keep coming back . One day at a time.
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Hi Hazy! Happy 2022! I do a meeting most days as well. I also just started meditating with the help of Insight Timer. I need to add more to my toolkit this year. Anyway, just want you to know how grateful I am to be on this journey with you!
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Awesome 
. Happy 2022
Yeah gonna keep picking up those tools. Pray for those who hasn’t this way of life yet…
Maybe you wanna join the gratidudes. It is a growing yet sufficient small community and it is contagious.
Gratitudes?