Starting a diary,… hoping it’s going to help me to not pick up alcohol. I’m in a constant spiral down everyday. . .if things are good I drink, if things are bad I drink. I self sabotage more when things are good …i need to study today but my head’s cloudy. I know I can get sober ,and I know I can study well.
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You just described my life. Writing about it helped me in the beginning. Good luck! Reach out if you need help.
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Play the tape forward. Will things get better if u drink? No, they will get worse. I remember the scary feeling of being on some track leading downwards and you just don’t know how to disembark. Once you get off and start feeling better you will want to stay that way. U can do it!
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Thankyou. Gonna keep checking in to this . 
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Managed to get on with studies, rather than procrastinate, feel sorry for myself, lay in bed all day…just about keeping up with the workload…I would do a lot better if I wasn’t hungover everyday.
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Writing a diary or journal can be incredibly therapeutic I have a few friends in recovery that use that as an outlet.
One even told me that, he loves looking back and reading his thoughts from previous days and months to see how well he improved
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Thanks for all responses, I really appreciate it…it’s coming to the time of day when I’ll be obsessing and weighing up drinking this evening…just in the middle of a chemistry lecture which is soooo hard to understand!
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Hey @Hazy , you just described where I was 70 days ago.
I am myself studying and find it hard. I used to compensate the hard work with playing hard, even way after the playing wasn’t fun anymore. I am currently working on a paper that’s needed for next Monday but that I’ve been procrastinating since September, lol. Even right now I feel bad for myself because I am on TS instead of writing - but I have to, because I saw those thoughts of drinking started to hit my head… I realized that I have to let myself do anything else but drinking - because it won’t lead to anything good. The only “good” thing is that when I drink I give myself the right to do nothing and chill, and I have hard time doing it when I don’t drink and I feel guilty of being non-productive.
Maybe right now you don’t have time, but last week I wrote what my plan was at the beginning of this new sobriety attempts. I’ll give you the link if you want to check it out. Making a list of things to do instead of drinking was very helpful. Also doing the advantages/disadvantages exercice did help me.
Hopefully you’ll find some peace and focus for today.
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21 hours…got through the evening without drinking…a good day at study, it’s looking more positive that I’ll get through the year,my anxiety at thinking how am I gonna learn all this and pass…am I gonna fail…what’s the point…but it’s looking more like I can pass the year.
I have a big tendency to stress. So large amounts of stress has been large amounts of binging.
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Try to just concentrate on the now Hazy. It’s hard at first I know. So was learning to walk and ride a bike.
Don’t stress about something that hasn’t happened. Just do your best today, now.
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Thanks for your reply 
… thinking of alcohol as a person bringing me down I can get… I’ve got to look at it like that…that’s really made me think a different way…
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Thanks for your support geo. I gotta apply myself to sobriety …
“teach me to stay free”!!!..was on butch’s thread today. Motivation and meditation posts.
Sober me today,. Lots of studying done,…lots of anxiety but I am so used to the feeling I can deal with it,it’s not comfortable tho…I have eaten food which has been good and tasty! Quite tired from brain work and detox…
I have to watch my temper as sparks really quickly,as it did this morning towards my son,it dissipated quickly, and I stood back and looked at myself,. I apologized . .
Just gotta keep eating cos otherwise I’m shaky or ‘hangry’… looking forward to sleep and waking up naturally and not like a giant magnet to the bed not willing to get up and face myself or the day. I will face the day when it comes without a hangover
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Well done Hazy. Proud of you. Keep reaching out on here
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And I’m getting another cold sore in my lip, which is about the 3rd time this year. I heard from a nurse on YouTube that it’s do with brain inflammation 
…
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Great😥, I get cold sores all the time too!
Over 2 days since last drink, woken up with blocked nose, slightly cold, hoping it’s just detox because I really dont want the cold I had a few weeks back…that was a real one that lasted 7 days, not a detox one!..I smoked a lot yesterday, like everyday I guess,.which makes it hard to go off to sleep.
I got a busy day ahead, and universe, I would like a calm day please, one thing at a time,. I’d like it smoothly to clockwork of course, but wouldn’t everybody!..I can take the humps and bumps just hate panic and stress with it!
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