Since I am prone to relapse, I have chosen to have an alcohol-free home. Since SO never drinks it is easy for he and I. But . . . last week his daughter and son-in-law came to visit for a week. He is in recovery. And she drinks in front of him frequently. Alcohol is not his DOC, but we all know that story. Anyway. . . knowing my situation she asked if I minded if she had cider or whatever. I said to please put it in the garage fridge. I rarely go out there to get things. But when I do/did, seeing the darned stuff was like poking me with a cattle prod. I didnât want it but had the âThere it isâ shock. It was weird.
And then we went out to eat. She was the only one drinking. And yum-yumming up her drink. Telling the waitress how fabulous her drink was. Chatting it up and announcing to we three non-drinkers how wonderful it was. I kind of wanted to say âwill ya shut up already?â, but knew it was MY problem. She should be able to drink if she wants, right?
Have I mentioned that women who say âI love my wineâ or âI have to have my wineâ make me feel like throttling them? My wine? Just ticks me off.
So, yesterday I went to a friendâs house for Easter. Again, booze in the garage fridge. I had to go put overflow food in a few times. There was a corked bottle of wine. Old me, drinking me, would have taken a swig for the heck of it. A BIG swig. Then obsessed over the wine in the fridge. And made excuses to go out to the garage. But, I really didnât want it. And I didnât care that people were drinking beer. And not a one was even tipsy.
So, I am noticing my reaction to alcohol and people drinking. Just that . . . noticing. Trying not to overthink. Trying to not resent. It is an interesting time for me. I am really starting to accept myself as a non-drinker. I like how it makes me feel . . . for the most part.
Yes! I used to be a falling on my face drunk every night of the week type and now 95 sober days later I have definitely noticed more that people drinking or being flashy about drinking really annoys me! Donât get me started on the whole âcoffee til cocktailsâ or âday drinkingâ slogans!!
Congratulations on getting through having the alcohol around you and you are still standing strong sober!!! Inspirational for me as a newly sober alcoholic!!
Even though I probably did it myself, the âmy wineâ thing is damn annoying, isnât it? And yes, going on about drinking, u can drink, just shut up about it! They are trying to affirm their place in the âdrinkingâ societal group. Thatâs ok, you have a place in the sober societal group.
The comment about obsessing over it in the old days really hit me hard. Thatâs the thing. Thatâs the reason to not. Really awesome job sticking to your preferred space and just noticing. Interesting part of the process indeed!
Great job staying strong! I havenât been brave enough to socialize with my friends. They typically drink and I just havenât felt like testing myself. I hope when I do get tested I stay that strong!
Just because your daughter drinks, doesnât give her the right to show it off. Let her know itâs not okay. Iâd also try your best to let people know alcohol isnât okay at your house. It clearly gives you anxiety at best, and thatâs not okay.
Wow. You did so great! Iâm very happy for you! But this lady was really provoking. Not nice at all and very selfish of her. Thatâs a big step for you! And you can be very proud of yourself
Thank you @cat-i-am, @anon89207786, @Monkey, @CaptAZ, @Faugxh, @anon35096624, @Gina, @Misokatsu, @Donut89, @Sophie2, so much!! I was whining!! I guess I didnât see it as such a victory that I didnât drink. But you pointed that out to me. You guys are just the best. And now I get to do it all again next week. I am traveling to FL to see my Mom in a nursing home and staying with my sister and brother-in-law. Very, very normal drinkers. But they usually have a few beers in the fridge and I have pilfered a few slugs of hard liquor from their cabinet before. You know . . . that sneaking thing that I (used to) love so much. But not next week. Because I donât drink anymore.
It sounds like she has zero empathy towards anyone. She needs to be confronted about it when it happens again. I personally have never had to deal with someone that wasnât cognizant towards my sobriety but I wouldnât be afraid to speak up if someone I knew wasnât.
my other half drinks and smokes weed in front of me, Do I occasionally think it would be nice to have some? Yes. Do I think I could stop? Definitely not. Do I want the consequences? Hell no!!
I agree. Pretty clueless. But . . . she rarely, if ever, visits SO so this was a big deal for him. He has actually confronted her in the past when he has been at her house. He has told her how inconsiderate it is for her husband. Not to mention dangerous. I could deal with it for a week. Actually, it made me consider alcohol in ways I hadnât for a while. I chose to use it as a learning experience.
Yes, I do! Iâm glad Iâm not the only one who gets ticked with the âmy wineâ crap. Well, I am at my goal weight and had no problem wolfing down MY FANCY DONUT at a work party today.
Iâm not sure. He is my SOâs daughter and S-I-L. I donât know them very well as we have only been together for three years and they live out of state. He doesnât seem particularly bothered. But, my SO has said she always has âher favorite hard ciderâ in the fridge at home. That would be harder to deal with Iâm thinking. Certainly, his sobriety is his responsibility, but we all know that support helps. YOU certainly know that. I guess perhaps there is a good reason he is your ex??
Two thumbs down. Iâm sorry you have to deal with that. My ex drank in front of me every day. He also had a problem he wouldnât acknowledge. I resolved after we divorced to not date anyone who is a moderate to heavy drinker. Personally, I canât handle it. I admire those who can!
