Well done fisherman! 
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4 months 14 days sober today.
Things have been going good.
I feel healthy!
Triggers come but have minimal impact on me because I’ve become good at redirecting my thoughts.
For example…
If my coworkers make a miserable day and my head thinks having a drink at the end of a trip is a good idea, I redirect my thinking into why risk harming myself because of them?
Instead of feeling lonely or punished because I don’t hang out with my buddies because they are drinking. I turn alone into all one, and I focus on goals that I wouldn’t strive for if I was drunk.
I like not being hungover at the beginning of a fishing trip. No more detox misery on the ocean. I like remembering everything I do when I’m not working.
My self confidence continues to improve as sober time continues.
I haven’t been able to go to many aa meetings, but I still feel strong!
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5 months 17 days sober today.
It hasnt been difficult to choose not to drink everyday since around 50 days sober.
Today is different. I want to drink!
Im finishing up my summer fishing commitment. I dont know if i want to work with these guys anymore. I love the boat and i love fishing. I hate working with these guys. I want to jump ship! Its a good job and i worry i wont find as good of one if I quit.
We started working our crab gear yesterday. I dont know if i want to crab with them.
Im in a complicated long distance relationship. That i know isnt going to work. Im not happy with it, but I fear letting go of that too. Ive let the same relationship go before and it hurt alot.
I still have alot of hoops to jump through about seeing my kids. All of it causes emotional turmoil that i dont want to feel.
I dunno! Life is hard! Feeling its hard. Change is hard.
But im sooo close to six months Im going to choose not to drink today.
I feel a little better venting here.
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Lots of decisions but the most important one is to do right by you. Relationships 
now I know why they say to steer clear at first too many internal changes occurring. Stay sober! 
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Read your last post, before this one. Re-read your whole thread. Stay true to yourself, the wise self that knows nothing good will come from drinking again, but what will come is regret and no doubt some misery. Be proud of how far you’ve come! Keep a positive mindset and stay determined, don’t let the pplnyou work with dictate whether you’re sober or not. It’s your choice, choose sober, like you have been these past 5 months and relish in the fact that you’re now doing your best to be better and feel better. You got this! 
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Be proud of your sober accomplishments and stay the course brother! I’m proud of you!!!
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I was wondering today how you’d been getting on 
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Still sober! Dadding is hard lol.
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good to see an update from you! i know you’re a tough sea fishin’ man but have you thought about going to see a therapist on days when you’re off the boat? anyways, congrats on all months you’ve racked up! thats a huge accomplishment. and even if this relationship doesnt pan out, at least you can’t blame it on being drunk.
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Im feeling better. Didnt drink.
Anxiety got the best of me. I am making alot of changes in my life. I want to make many! I cant do them all at once. My mind tries to.
I feel more grounded today.
I’ve been talking about wanting to paint for several years. I finally quit talking and started doing. I’ve been having fun with that!
My alcoholic thinking tries every angle. From subtle and innocent to loud and insane. It was loud that day!
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I know exactly what you mean by that loud and insane thinking. Great job keeping on course! Wishing you peace and strength on your journey. One day at a time.
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Your input here has helped me tonight. Thanks for that. I craved a beer tonight and I just think it through til tomorrow morning… Nothing good but a foggy head and disappointment.
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surrender to the fact that I am tough enough to crab but alcohol has the power to kick my ass and or kill me
That’s the fact Jack. 
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Sure enough. I am a retired US Marine and a dedicated martial artist…and booze will kick my ass every time. I never want to get in the ring with a bottle ever again.
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Good morning!
5 months 27 days sober today.
Im feeling pretty good!
I quit my job a few days ago. We started gettin our crab gear ready for the opener in February. The crew consist of the skipper/owner and me and another deckhand.
The other deckhand is miserable to work with. He has been for over a year. I frequently think about quitting because of him. I have bent over backwards trying to make this work, but nothing ever changes.
I love the boat, we fished for everything and i loved that! But leo made it miserable for me alot out there. Hes lazy, and hes mean. When hes not being mean he constantly has to build himself up and talks nonstop about how wonderful he is while putting me down. While we are working hes an asshole 75 percent of the time.
I stick up for myself, but then the tension gets thick and uncomfortable. Theres noplace to go out there so i just do my job, make the landing. Ive invested my time and labor and i dont get paid until we make the landing. So i tolerate the bullshit and talk myself out of quitting in between trips. Ive been doing that for over 2 years.
Four days into working on crab gear onshore i realized that on my last check i got paid for everything weve done and the boss doesnt owe me money.
I wanted to punch leo in the mouth everytime he opened it and that if i work the gear its another six month commitment to working with him.
I finished the day and decided to quit. I slept on it and woke up ready to quit. Ive talked myself out of it so many times that i decided there was no way i was going to back down.
I went to the gear yard and told leo im not feeling it anymore. I quit. When skipper got there i told him im gonna persue other interests. He called me a piece of shit and told me to get the f out of his shop. So i left.
I went down to the dock the next day and word had got out. Several boats gave me offers. I went on fishing on another boat the next day and had a blast! There was no tension on the boat all day. I forgot what that was like.
I went on that boat because i knew it would get under my previous employers skin. I have an offer for a permanent position but im gonna shop around before i commit to anything.
Im going to a legal pot farm for a couple weeks to help harvest. It pays good and ive worked there before.
The crew there has several drinkers. I drank with them, So im nervous about that.
The boat i just quit was a sober boat, and i dont know of any other ones that are so im nervous about that.
Im going to Hawaii on vacation in a couple of weeks. My date is normal, she will probably have a couple of drinks. Its a vacation island. Drinks will be everywhere. Im nervous about that.
Drinkers are everywhere! Im just gonna have to be responsible about my recovery. Thats what it boils down to every single day. Nobody else can be.
It doesnt matter how much time ive accumlated, how many meetings i go to, or how many times I’ve worked the steps. Im a drink away from getting drunk.
Getting drunk just isnt worth the risk anymore.
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This is a great share Brother. Problems presented, and solutions to those problems. We love solutions around here.
There’s some great stuff online from AA speakers that you can download for your down time on the boat (if there even is down time, lol). Google “AA speakers steps 2 and 3” and a whole bunch will come up.
I used to listen a lot on my commute to and from work. Great way to start and finish the day. Come to think of it, I’m gonna start doing that again. Solutions eh?
Good stuff man
Thanks for sharing
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That decision to leave and how you went about it was a well measured and mature process! Good for you, and man it feels great to breathe freely, doesn’t it?
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Yeah quitting that job feels great! I feel like ive been released from prison.
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Good for you! you’re golden! As long as you don’t pick up that first drink. Stay the course cause the universe has your back, no sabotaging. Maybe stay away from the pot farm?
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Nice one bud. You’ve said before about this leo guy. I’m surprised you stuck it out this long. But then if sober boats are few and far between, it’s probably served a purpose.
Onwards and upwards my man!
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