Congrats on 1 year!! Your thread is one of the first I ever read when I joined TS (thats probably why I was instantly hooked… no pun intended 
.) Your journey inspires me to be better. Thank you!! Great work!!!
Yay Jason!! I’m extremely proud of you and to be here to see it. Your strength inspires me and others.
That is amazing, I’m so happy for you!! I had the same issue with the impending doom anxiety. It’s so relieving to hear that I’m not the only one. Just like you said, it has completely disappeared at this point and it’s amazing.
Keep up the amazing work and thank you for letting us in on your journey!!
Congratulations, Jason! This is awesome and thank you for sharing your journey with us so honestly.
Your amazing Jason. Your an inspiration to me and I know others too. Your also funny as hell. Keep being you. I’m so happy to call you a friend. 
Woo hoo!! Congratulations Jason. I’m super proud of you. Every newcomer can benefit from reading your thread. You’ve been tested more than the average person over the past year and managed to stay sober which only proves sobriety is possible for everyone.
One of the unexpected delights in joining this community has been learning how others in recovery spend their sober work and leisure time. The title Alcohlic Fisherman in Recovery intrigued me immediately. I’ve enjoyed njoyed your videos and perspective, honesty and optimism. Congratulations on a year and 6, now 7, days!
402 days without a drink today.
I have been so busy its been hard for me to keep up with the forum.
Crab season is starting earlier than expected, so i havent had much free time.
We can set gear on sunday. Start pulling on Wednesday the 16th.
The weather forecast is horrible. Big storms, and big swell! I have some anxiety. Its normal.
Knowing the grind is about to start alone is a good cause for anxiety. Throw some bad weather in the mix to intensify it.
We did our sport crabbing trip. We know where the crab are and where they arent. They are in the danger zone. Bad weather is going to make it hard to get there.
Skipper is still weighing out all the options to formulate our game plan.
We went and got supplies together. Im all geared up. Got two sets of good rain gear. I work the wet side. Staying as dry as possible is important.
We stopped and had sushi. He ordered a beer. I had a strong craving! I did not act upon it. That beer looked and smelled good. I could hear the fizz. My mouth was watering.
Last night I was craving a beer, but didnt act upon it. My inner alcoholic was working the innocent couple of beers tactic pretty hard.
I know better. Its the first strong craving I’ve had in a while.
There are no rentals. I have a place thats getting worked on lined up. Ive been staying at the shop. Its been a busy place.
We had thanksgiving here. I was the only one not drinking. It wasnt hard not to drink that day. Yesterday was.
I went to the store and found myself at the beer aisle. I was getting coffee creamer and its right next to the beer.
I realized where I was and what I was doing.(drooling over the micro brews) and shook it off and got out of there.
Oregon had increased the COVID restrictions again. No meetings. I figure I better step up my recovery game again. Posting here is part of that. Making time for this is my best defense.
I survived. Feeling better today.
I am going to make it through my second sober crab season! Failure is not an option!
Nope, not an option! That beer is a temptress, lol. Nothing good at the end!
Been there done that sooo many times. I’ve come to far to fall on my face again! 
I’m glad you posted. Strength in numbers!
Be safe out there.
Yikes. Glad you made it through.
I hope this season is good and the boat doesn’t have too much nonsense going on. How do you feel about the people you are working with? I am sure they all know you have decided to be sober?
You’ve done this loads of times, just keep your wits about you and remember that today you don’t use.
Be safe out there, as safe as you can. Being sober helps with that, surely. Glad you posted - let us know if we can help. Hope you get a more solid place to stay soon. I’m curious but it sounds like you haven’t had any time for art or photography. I really enjoy your stuff.
I like the people im working with alot.
All of them.
Skipper was on the wagon last year. I wish he still was. He hasnt done anything irresponsible since ive been back.
I know his past, and I think sobriety is in his best interest. But he’s young. He got in trouble. Drugs. I think hes alot like me. Knows drugs are a problem, but the legal drug alcohol is harder to surrender to.
He went through a nasty divorce, went off the deep end and got in trouble. Now hes almost done with his probation. Been seeing someone and gotten serious. She drinks. Everyone drinks. Hes been staying out of bars.
Hes a big guy. Big guys in bars attract trouble.
I think hes very similar to me. Keeps it together for a while, and has a high probability of not keeping it together long term. But I cant stop him. Hes going to do what hes going to do.
Coworker #1 is a very likeable guy. Hes not a drinker but does drugs. Hes been unreliable while I was gone. Hes been unreliable since I’ve been back. Which has been good for me because Ive been shining.
My friend who was in the boat that capsized last year is on the crew now.
Coworker number two has been demoted because of his unreliability.
Hes our bait guy. We really only need him for a few weeks. Then my friend and I can handle it. The only reason he still has his job is because of the opener.
Hes been great for me. Watching addiction waste someones potential keeps me focused. I feel for him but knowing hes the only one who can change his behavoir makes me grateful that I’ve been able to change mine.
Hes got a horrible gambling problem.
But hes likeable, easy to work with and a great deck hand.
Skipper has impressed me with every fishery. Coworker number one was being flaky so I got to fish the last of salmon season. We got em! It was really fun! Id like to fish with him all year this summer.
Coworker number two is clean, rarely drinks and is a good deckhand. Hes very supportive of my sobriety.
So is skipper. He respects that I dont drink, but that doesnt mean hes not going to have a beer if he wants one.
I’ve been handling that pretty well until yesterday. That beer triggered me.
I’ve been feeling really strong. Content not drinking. I guess yesterday caught me off guard. I’m feeling much better today
Im looking forward to getting my own space. Ive been living out of a suitcase since April. I havent been able to paint, but I have been getting out with my camera every chance I get.
Ive been making fishing videos. My latest videos are getting good! Im getting closer to launching my youtube channel.
I have my computer here but non stop interruptions make it harder focus on finishing them.
I have been spending alot of time working on those. Getting close!
I got a couple more gopros and im excited about filming the crab opener. I got enough battery banks to film for several days.
I have alot of good photography in my camera too. I get out and shoot whenever I can.
Ooo a YouTube channel sounds awesome! I’m glad you are making time for art when you can. That’s really valuable and good for the spirit.
Really proud of you and your journey brother! Keep up the good work. 
Some days are strange like that. I thought about trying a new whiskey chris brought home because it looked interesting. As soon as that thought popped up I was like ’ wtf? No. ’ to myself and that was that.
My mind has been made up for a long time now, and so those feelings catch me by surprise. I can empathize.
Glad its a good crew again. I thought this was the sober skipper from last year, wish he was still on the wagon.
I wish he was too.
Life is interesting.
When I worked on the prison ship, the skipper was sober. Still is.
He is one of the meanest, most miserable people I have ever met.
He never asked how I was. Never said thankyou. Always expected any gear work to be done for free. Never bought lunch or gave a draw.
One time he bought me lunch, then he deducted it from my check. When Matt worked with us, (my friend who almost got killed last year) He paid matt from my wages. He didnt talk to me about it. Just did it and expected me to deal with it.
He is very moody. I never knew how to approach him about anything for fear of him getting angry.
He threw things at us. He pushed me a couple of times. One time he kicked me when i was waking up on a tuna trip, because I wasnt moving fast enough.
He was constant drama.
He was slow at paying. He always owed me thousands of dollars, and I knew if I quit that I’d never see it. So I stayed.
I always thought about quitting, but didnt. It was like being stuck in a toxic relationship.
He parks two boats down from us. He is still the same miserable dickhead. I see him down there all the time.
He hasnt given my gear back.
Ive been feeling greatful I dont have to deal with him.
Current skipper always asks how Im doing, buys lunch, gives draws, pays as soon as he gets paid. Hes been letting me stay at the shop rent free. Always tells me what a good job im doing. Hes a good guy.
Old skipper has put fifty crab pots next to our boat. It hard not to vandalize them. The temptation is strong!
Im going to be the bigger person. And not do it.
He has a new deckhand who I would be harming if I did that.
The new deckhand looks tough enough to take out Leo and old skipper! Maybe my revenge will get served through him.
