Hey thanks! Not too well. I relapsed hard this week. Its been difficult falling down so hard. I was basically drunk for 3 days. I crashed my car. I broke trust and relationships. Im sure everyone can relate that at that moment non alcoholics dont understand the pain.
On a few positive notes I made a meeting today! I also went to the dentist and got a haircut!
Ive decided im going to get this figured out but man oh man did i melt my brain. Thanks for checking in! Means a lot.
Glad your back!
Thanks man. Really zapped my time home with my relapse and now I go back Monday already!
Made a few AA meetings as well as a therapy appointment with a drug and alcohol counselor. I feel like a colossal loser at the moment but im back! Ill keep coming back one way or another.
Appreciate it as always sailor!
I still feel like a looser a little bit from my relapse too. The days sober are adding back up though. I learned from it. I guess thats all that matters
We are our toughest critics.
Im feeling pretty humble coasting through the holidays, ready for them to be over.
Hows everything going man? Im feeling so much better now!
Ive been good. 51 days since my last drink.
I got really inspired in Kauai. Inspired to live better. Not just quit drinking but to persue happiness. My inner artist really lit up while I was there.
When I got home I made time to paint. I didnt answer any work calls and ordered a bunch of supplies and have been having fun with that.
I quit smoking cigarettes 17 days ago. I used a cbd pen at first but havent used that for 3 days. Nicotene withdrawel was miserable torture but im feeling much better now. I want to surf and scuba dive💪
Crabbings kicking off soon. I haven’t commited to a position yet. I should go down and see whats up. We can set gear on the 28th. Start pulling gear on Jan 1st. So its here.
Ive been pretty reclusive. Especially since i quit smoking. Its been good.
Staying sober through the holidays was easier than I expected. Im glad they are over.
I feel like i have come to terms with and accepted that one drink can and will ruin everything for me.
My last drunk showed me how fast it can happen.
Xmas eve that little voice inside pops off with you should go get some beer and smokes for xmas.
Its always there somewhere. That little voice…
I feel lucky that I’ve been able to make a little time to paint and reflect on life.
@JasonFisher - your story has been so inspirational and compelling, I have just read the entire thread in one sitting and couldn’t put it down. Have you ever thought of writing, maybe accompanying your writing with some of your art work? You have so much to offer and it is too valuable to be wrecked by alcohol or any other DoC. I feel privileged to be hearing your story and hope that you find the strength to keep up your recovery journey.
I have to agree with @AJR2019. This has the making of a wonderful, beautiful artistic journey.
Thank you for sharing.
Glad to see you are doing well. Good luck crabbing! I’ve gone out twice with my little fishing pole laso, and haven’t got any worth keeping. I think I’m going to end up just going and dropping a pot out somewhere.
Beautifully inspiring. I guess it never gets easier looking at stocked bars? Going into day 3 and walked by a beer booth at a lights festival. Cruises right on by. I know how it goes. There is no such thing as “one”. Could be 9 pm at home or 9 am out camping…one means a dozen.
Your story inspires me. Thank you.
3 days is awesome! Glad your here!
Where you from? I know the best places to crab from shore around here. Southern oregon.
It might not for some people, but I have no problem with stocked bars…in fact, our bar is stocked here at home. That said, there is zero wine here and I prefer it that way. It DOES get easier. 
Long Beach peninsula. I’ve got the jetty around the mouth of the Columbia that makes for some good fishing.
I lost a really good size one out of Tokeland yesterday, but he fell off my snare right as he was coming out of the water.
I’ve decided the snares are more work than I want to do. I’ll go sit around and fish for fish. I’m going to throw pots for crabs. 
This is my first season fishing out here. In Iowa we have no 
.
Snares are alot of work. I always landed the ones i dont want while the keepers get away.
Incoming tide fishes best at the mouths of rivers.
The columbia has so many good fishing spots near the mouth. I used to live in Seattle. Thats where i got addicted to fishing. Theres many good tributaries to the columbia in that area.
The Kalama river was/is a favorite. Especially for spring salmon and steelhead. Its a small river, easy to fish from shore
The cowlitz was always really good for winter steelhead.
My favorite place in washington is the Olympic peninsula. The Hoh river is my favorite there. Big salmon and steelhead!
60 days since my final relapse!
When I got home from Kauai i gave myself permission to take a little time off to focus on painting.
Ive never done anything like that before. Life is so busy, and it goes by so fast. I’d been wanting to paint for years. Im really happy that I did that.
It was wonderful!
I also quit smoking cigarettes. That was gnarly but also good.
After my last drink in Kauai i was pretty confused.
I was feeling solid in recovery and still got hammered on what was a celebration of sobriety. I paid for the trip with money i saved not drinking. I still got drunk.
So I been keeping to myself, painting, listening to recovery based info in the background.
Ive been doing alot of reflecting on life.
I’m not getting any younger and if i dont drink myself into an early grave i want to live the rest of it as happy as i can.
I dont hang out with any of my buddies because they drink.
I really miss one of em. One of my all time favorites things to do was drink beer, chainsmoke and talk shit with him. I know its in my best interests to stay away because i have thrown periods of continuos sobriety away several times with him.
I had reconnected with AA before i went to Kauai. When i got back i didnt want to pick up a newcomers chip. So i didnt go.
Then i quit smoking and i stayed home. I couldnt go anywhere without smoking… So i painted and went through nicotene withdrawel at home. It was torture. I reflected on alot of gnarly things in life. Sober. I had to feel it all. During the holidays which amplified it. Its been good. I feel ready to let it all go and start fresh.
I made it. Not smoking gets easier everyday. I slipped a couple of days ago, but i didnt enjoy the cigarette and i feel it was saying good bye to a nasty habit.
I went to an AA meeting the other day and reconnected. I dont like alot of things about AA but it helps me. I like making eye contact with other people who dont want to drink.
I took a position on a crab boat today. Starting tomorrow. The skippers had a drinking and drugging problem. Recently sober. First sentence he said to me was hes not drinking and wants to stay sober. They are in the crab! Its a good boat!
Time for another adventure! Im gonna check in here often! Im gonna make it through this season sober!
Im going to need your support! Ill post pics when i can!
Sitting on the toilet. Reading about your slip up and your climb back up. I am proud of you man.
Great to hear from you Jason, pleased you are enjoying your art.
Congratulations on your 60 days.
Safe crabbing.