Hey there! My name’s Ashley. Sunday will make 2 weeks since I’ve done cocaine. Over the last 9 months, my weekends have been spent binging, sometimes into the early week. I’m so done with the endless cycle of binging (which usually includes an endless loop of reliving trauma and hating myself for using again) and then coming down for a week or two after. It sucks! But even though I know this, 2 weeks is ALWAYS when I seem to relapse and I can feel myself starting to try to justify “one more time” so I figured I reach out. Any kind words or motivation is appreciated 
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I had many one more times
It never ended until I stopped
We are lucky the last time wasn’t our last time doing drugs and surviving
You are doing very well
Keep coming back and read and post much
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Welcome Ashley. Im just over 3 weeks sober and one thing that helps is to “play the tape to the end.” If i drink/use, i will end up miserable. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but in less than a month ill be completely effed.
Especially on weekends i need a sober plan in place. For me that means AA meetings, plans with sober friends, or just things I want to do like see a movie, hike, library trip, museum, yoga class, anything that doesnt involve alcohol.
You CAN do it! Pick up the phone before you pick up drugs! All the best
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Hi Ashley. Congratulations on almost 2 weeks of sobriety! I haven’t struggled with cocaine specifically, but i know the cycle of binging and self loathing very well. You deserve to find your way out of that cycle, and you’re on your way already. Hang in there, stay connected, remember to play out what will happen before you go back. You deserve peace and sobriety is the only way to truly get there.
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Welcome back Ashley. I’m sorry to hear about your struggle and I know it sucks being back out in addiction-land. It’s an awful place.
For me personally groups have made a huge difference. That regular meeting, that daily phone call to another member, that relationship with a trusted mentor who has been in my shoes, that responsibility to take initiative and make that call, do my daily simple recovery tasks and report back on that every day in a voicemail to my recovery mentor - all that has made a huge difference for me and is the reason I am sober today.
There are groups here: Resources for our recovery
It is possible if you are really done with the coke. It will suck for a while, while you’re making your evolution into your new recovery pattern. Eventually it will get better. Remember that it may be rough in the start but it is sure as hell better than using 
Take care and don’t give up. Keep reaching out and keep connected daily. Being stuck in the echo chamber of the mind is deadly.
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Maybe try a CA meeting might help wish you well
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Are you doing better today? Hope you are well. Read your post and wanted to encourage you. If I can do it so can you. Have you tried AA/NA meetings?
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Agree this is good advice
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Hi Ashley! Glad u see back on the forum 
Congratulations on ur upcoming 2 weekings clean! Sounds like ur really ready for some change. I used to get that urge to use every 3 days or so. Thats when that little voice starting trying to justify my using. I would forget how bad it got and would start contemplating using again.
Its important to have a plan when the urges strike. A great thing that helped me was to write down why im quitting in very raw detail. This helped me remember why im in recovery. Id remember all the bad things that happened while using so that when that voice popped up, i could remind myself why i wanted to quit. And then of course coming on here for support before u pick up. Let us help u thru the cravings
Glad u see back and hope to see u posting more
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