just as a first, I don’t struggle with alcohol or drugs so this was due to none of that
I almost ran a couple over on my way home and idk where to go or what to say right now. I think I’m in some sort of shock? and I feel like I can’t talk to anyone I know too well because I’m scared they’d judge me. which they’d be right to do. the people were crossing a green pedestrian traffic light, my traffic light was green as well. I saw that theirs was green and went slow to look if anyone was crossing, I saw hat someone already went on the sidewalk and checked the rest and didn’t see anything (the lighting there is usually good?? idk) so I drove bc like, I checked. apparently not good enough though, because like 1m before the pedestrian path thing I saw them and I only managed to hit the brake when they were literally next to my window. I would have hit them if they had been a tiny bit further into the crossing. they screamed and I panicked and since I didn’t hit them and was freaked out I just autopilot drove home. it looked like they were wearing all black but like even with that, even in the dark, I should have somehow seen them right? Idk what to do right now, I’m very scared about legal trouble, also absolutely terrified of anyone recognizing my car. and especially scared of myself. I didn’t notice them at all and it was so damn close. if I mess up like this how can I trust myself to drive? I need my car and I need to be able to drive but how can I even trust myself when that has led me wrong like this? I’m so scared. it’s a bad time anyway since a big trauma anniversary is happening tomorrow and I have too much stress at work and now this is on my plate as well. I don’t know what to do I am so overwhelmed and panicked.
It’s scary to almost hit someone, I know the feeling and how it lingers, but don’t let it be any more than that. You could get wrapped up in “what ifs” all day.
You’re not going to get into any kind of trouble over it. Nobody was harmed, only startled on both sides. That’s all that it was and all that it will amount to. A simple mistake and nothing more. Anyone who drives has likely had a near-miss at some point, whether it was with a pedestrian, other car, etc. This isn’t a reflection of some kind of inability or lack of awareness on your part.
Take some time to decompress. I know when it has happened to me, that anxious feeling persists for a bit but will go away.
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