Being sober for 8 months and 20 days is a great accomplishment, but why doesnt it feel like it? The first couple months of sobriety where great. Now i feel like i have been waking up more veryday wondering why i am not allowed to drink? I do everything to keep myself busy and distracted, but i always feel anxious and uncomfortable in my own skin. Cant calm down or relax. I drink the tea, read the books. But i feel like i havnt had a deep breath of relief in the last month. When your sober you cant “take the edge off”. I have been really distant and crabby recently and its not fair to my wife, but i have to work through it. She really tries to understand but she can have a glass of wine and just be done. Does anyone else feel restless and uncontent? I need to learn to cope with it, but i do everything in my power now. Being sober now has made me realize how much my wife and i are different. I go out of my way to take off days so we have the same days off together and then she just distances herself? This is a new thing to me because when i was drinking i was glad if she went into bed early because then i wouldnt feel guilty for using more. New things come with time, but i have never had to deal with them face on. Day by day right? Maybe its time to fill my time with AA, just nervous to go alone.
Reading this makes me feel like you’re a dry drunk. Recovery is not only not using, but especially working on yourself. I recommend going to AA to work the steps with a sponsor
Restless, irritable and discontent. You need some big book in your life. Do you own a copy?
8 months and 20 days is some solid sobriety, congratulations there!!! I know that restless off feeling. I feel like it is my parasympathetic nervous system jumping all over the place…the fight or flight response. When our bodies are stressed thru drinking for so long our bodies and minds are in overdrive and always on edge. Once we stop dulling that with alcohol BOOM we get to feel all those emotions we kept down with alcohol. And boy that can feel awful. Jumpy, on edge, anxious…I know all that as well…many of us have been there.
I found that once I was closing in on 9 months and year (as you are) that this anxiousness really hit. It is our body and mind saying okay, you are sober now let’s start RECOVERY which equals HEALING in my mind. So we need to find what helps heal us body mind and spirit.
Many people find that healing through AA as others have mentioned. Others find it through breathwork, meditation, yoga…or body work (bicycling, yoga, gym, punching bag, dance therapy). Still others prefer the meditative practices like fishing, gardening, cooking, puzzles, etc. More traditional and equally as helpful for many is talk therapy in an individual or group setting…again that could be AA or another sobriety program like SMART or Recovery Dharma…there are many to choose from.
In any event, these are some ideas to get that stuck emotional energy out. Does any of that sound like stuff you would be interested in doing? Finding what works for us is an individual thing as we are all different people with different lives and sensibilities. Piecing together our Recovery toolbox is a great thing. Being patient with our process is key. Understanding we are moving toward health and healing the wounds we were drinking at was important for me. As was working my body to get all that stuck energy out. That is an ongoing part of my healing. Journaling, writing out my emotions, being on here and being of service to others in other ways is also helpful for me. Perhaps that might help you as well.
I am glad you reached out. I hope you find some inspiration in the replies. Keep working on your self and your recovery. 
Highly recommend attending AA meetings if they are available in your area. I was petrified my first meeting and I drove by the meeting place a couple of times before even going in. But after I finally did its the best move I ever made. There are plenty of threads on here on why and how to start your own program so check those out as well. It just takes time to get comfortable being in your own skin after self medicating for soooo long. (AKA - checking out) Good luck bro!
Hey man, I’m in much the same situation as you are. I have less time sober, 55 days today, but I sympathize with what you’re feeling.
I’ve been using exercising and working out to take that edge off. I know that doesn’t work for everyone, and it’s even harder right now because of COVID. But even if you can find some body weight stuff to do at home and sweat your ass off, it really helps.
I don’t know if your work would allow time for it, but maybe take a trip somewhere with your wife? Even if just for a few days. My wife and I have one planned for next month. Nothing crazy, we just rented a cabin by a lake but I’m hopeful that it will help take the edge off for both of us and give us time to reconnect.
So I’m still figuring it all out too, but I just try to keep myself occupied. I also tried using some of those meditation podcasts recently to help fall asleep, maybe give that a try as well. It helped take some of the nighttime edge away for me, which I used to do by drinking.
Good luck man! Stay strong.
I’ve gotta agree with everything that’s been said bc I was going to say AA is definitely an excellent option. You’ll meet tons of people going thru very similar things as you. And exercise never hurts either. All that pent up energy needs to get out somehow. Even just a walk or a bit of stretching helps. Hope you can get thru these feelings. You’ll come out stronger. And congrats on almost 9 months!
Great idea to try AA i can recommend it and it works wish you well
@Jerdun, I am in the same boat as you. 14 months sober and my anxienty is through the roof. I havent a clue who I am anymore, or what direction I am heading. I have walked, hiked, ran, read books, meditated, talked, but I never went to AA. It is only now that I feel that is the direction I need to go on. I feel terrified, humiliated, broken, but if AA can guide me through this struggle, then I welcome the help. I wish you well and congratulations on your soberity.
don’t go anywhere just go online on zoom and sit and listen to start, join in when you feel more comfortable but do turn up. 
I have been lately also but that’s gotta be because we are doing something right. The pressure is on so stay focuses there may be a milestone coming up. Reach for it and don’t give up it way worth it in the end
Bro you got this this and I understand how you feel. I don’t know why but me and my girls relationship has improved since I stopped drinking. I look at all the positive things regardless of how small they are to keep me sober. Stay sober my friend your body will thank you.
I dont own a big book, i need to buy one asap.
Yes i workout almost everyday and its a huge help, and we are supposed to go to the beach this week. Covid has really kept us home, so there is less distractions for me. I am starting my MBA program in the spring 2021, so that will keep me occupied. Thanks!
Can I just say well done, 8 months is fantastic.
This will pass mate.
I remember my first year going through so many feelings and emotions. This is normal as far as I’m concerned. Sobriety is way more than just reading books and drinking tea.
We have to relearn how it’s like to be a person again and this isn’t going to happen over night.
At about 6 months sober I had a single life all planned out because I felt that my wife and I are not compatible.
That’s changed again. But the other way of thinking, I think is that, if we are together long enough then there are going to be times when we both would think that. What ever I can think, I have to realise that my wife can think it as well.
The only difference is that in the past we drowned everything out.
For a long time I put absolutely everything I felt or thought down to the recovery process.
Keep working at it and don’t let the voice win.
Can you find something that you can do for yourself. For years I’ve wanted to do hikes and wild camping but it’s not my wife’s cup of tea so I’ve always not bothered.
Now I’ve decided that I need this me time so I’m doing it, just for me.
I’ve just read that you are starting something soon, well done.