Bubonicphoniks , I hope I spelled that right… lol. First and foremost I don’t want you to ever question the validity of this group it is super helpful. I also think that if I felt that way, other people had to feel the same way. But you must look at it as if you go to a farmers market and want fresh produce. You look through the piles of product and find the one that looks fresh, speaks to you. Essentially take the meat and leave the bones. But be careful, you can’t cherry pick , because there could be a topic you over look because the topic don’t speak to you, but it could also be the thread that changed your life. I love you friend and I wish you continued success in sobriety.
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Thank you. I wanted to hit the like button, however I feel like I can’t … lol . I wish you continued success Matt, and unfortunately you will never truly understand the impact you had on me today in a good way. Thank you my friend
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No worries man. I didn’t want you thinking you were alone with your thoughts on the forum. We just gotta take what works for us and leave the rest. Not stress on what we can’t control. And learning how to do that is a journey in itself 
Hailstorm, thank you for not making me feel alone , very touchy post I made in haste and the fact you kinda agreed with me is amazing. I can never explain in a post how important that was to me. I hope that Matt and all the others who posted settled something in you, as it did me. You showed tremendous bravery going against the grain. For that I can never say enough, thank you my friend.
Again, valid points. I guess I don’t pour as much emotion in here as others. If I see a place to be helpful I try to be. I also enjoy reading in general and this is always good for some good reads.
I love you too.
Bubonichoniks… damn I wish you had an easier name 
. Thank you , I know I can’t really express what your post meant to me, but it meant the world honestly. You should post a lot more. Your words have value, and you can help a lot of people in our shoes. Don’t be so shy, you are amazing and have so much to offer to those in recovery and the world. Anyone who says different is a fool .
Side note I still misspelled your name …
Bubonicphoniks … got it 
I think it’s awesome that there is always a core of people (who that is changes over time) who are super active here and take the time to reach out to so many people. What if they aren’t trying to be narcissistic, and are actually trying to be helpful? I find it is a lot easier to spend time here when I assume people are posting with the best intentions 
I know I have gone through phases where I find myself repeating myself often and have worried about that… But there are also very similar themes to a lot of the posts here and so similar responses feel appropriate. I can only speak from my own experience, which is limited, so it’s gonna get repetitive! And of course there are so many posts, we don’t know who has read what, so even when I am saying something for what feels like the hundredth time it could be the first and only time someone has seen it.
Personally when I am feeling bummed out by the vibe of the forum, I like to make an effort to get involved and leave as many positive and supportive comments as I can. Be the change you wanna see and all that. It helps.
I’m glad you are finding the community helpful over all, I know I have over the past few years 
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I’ve learnt from you today aswell Frank, thank you.
Siand thank you for your very well written post, it was vey well thought out and made me think. Causing one to think means you did a very good job in your post. Thank you and I agree. Initially I was speaking from fear , and haste . That’s what we are here for right? I’m sure all of us have been in a place I was, and the understanding of the community is priceless. All of you have been there and it’s part of early recovery. Thank the powers that be that this community made me realize that. I still feel like some of what I said is true, but I was focusing on the negative, and not the positive of how this site or group has kept me clean. It’s a roller coaster of highs and lows , and in the lows this group is priceless
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Hailstorm can’t just hit the like now, again thank you as well. I hope all is well and I wish you continued success
Terminal uniqueness is deadly for addicts and alcoholics. When I first got sober I thought I was special, or different, or unique. I thought that everyone should cater to what I thought I needed. Well believing myself to be special landed me in rehab a couple more times, before I realized those platitudes were actually pretty spot on. There’s a reason everyone says “On day a t time” or “HALT” or anything else. It’s because they work. Sure, there’s things I don’t necessarily agree with on here, but this whole post is pretty counterproductive to the point you are trying to make. If you want people to received individualized advice why don’t you go out and do it yourself, rather than making a whole post like this.
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One of the most importend things I learned during recovery is that I can’t control other people, that’s all folkes 
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I have often thought the same as you. I see people post in only just for fun topics and seemingly never giving advice or helping. But then when you compare it, they often post just as much advice as anyone else, but it’s drowned by their “just-for-fun” contributions.
I myself have often longed to post a lot more non-generic advice, but I simply don’t have the energy. If I feel bad, which is most of the time, my head tells me that my advice is worthless or that I’m not allowed to post because I’ve been constantly relapsing lately.
And yes, there probably are people out for likes, I was one of them. I needed to know that I wasn’t a worthless piece of shit. The likes didn’t get me anywhere though, after over a year, I still feel like a worthless piece of shit. However, the likes that I wasn’t hunting for are the ones that told me I’m not alone. That’s why I like more than reply. I don’t have the energy to help people, I do have the energy to let people know they’re not alone.
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Englishd thank you so much for responding it really means a lot, but to say I’m wrong for making a post like this? Well I don’t know what to say, I received support and my questions have been answered. And a few others also have there answers. So I appreciate your opinion I really do, but I think personally this was a necessary post. And if I’m wrong or being narcissistic I’m sorry but I found the interaction and response very helpful.
I said it was counterproductive. Not wrong. If you want people to post a certain way you should lead by example.
Am I not? I apologized I’m this thread , and thanked those who have helped me realize I spoke out of haste. And have replied individually to each person who commented. Clearly that’s as far as you can go digitally which was what my post was about. I do however try my hardest in the real world to help as much as I can. I can’t prove that in a digital format after all how I help is not logged in a way to say , See I’m doing good work. I however do understand and I think you have a valid point , thank you .
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I thought the conversation was a good example of the discussions on the forum. Lots of different viewpoints were shared, everyone was respectful and listened. I certainly found it valuable. I find your post to be the counter productive one.
Yes.
I, as a ‘true hero’, recommend worrying less about what others are doing/saying and focus on yourself. Take what works, leave what doesn’t, help where you can, but don’t try (or feel obligated) to help everyone or fix everything. You can’t, and you’ll take yourself down with your misplaced (though maybe well intentioned) efforts.
Success looks different for everyone. Don’t project your vision of it on to anyone else.
Signed,
True Hero
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