Thanks for the positive vibes @Lisa07 glad to share this journey with you
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LOVE THIS CJ! Great summation and way to go on staying cool and collected during it all! 
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I finally admitted that I’m an alcoholic after 37 years of drinking, the past year really off the charts.
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Congrats taking that step and owning the problem. That is huge in kickstarting recovery. Be honest. Be open. Be willing.
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Leaving this link here for later ref. Beautiful sentiments
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This resonates deeply. The key isnt willpower but surrender
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Treading close to 800 days sober. 2 days away. This weeks lesson is acceptance and letting be.
I woke up way too early this sunday and raced a 4mi run. Had my best race time of 9:14 /mi just under 37min. I had a moment of yaaa. Atlast i said i just want to finish before 45min. I wanted more almost right after. This feeling of never enough is pervasive in my thinking. It makes me tired and steals joy from my accomplishment. Oh well now im planning a 10k lol
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You may have to remind me about 800. 798 is awesome.
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Damn girl… should be proud of what you accomplish. That crazy mind can fro. Hope you can find a way to appreciate your amazingness and how far you’ve come. Be content in the moment.
10k eh…I love your drive! Keep up the great work and remember to enjoy and be joyful of all your accomplishments 
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Didn’t realize our sobriety dates were only a month apart, nice work, I just skimmed through this thread and I love to see a good growth timeline. 2 years and counting!
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Happy 2 years. Glad you see youre back posting and still sober
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How’s it going ? Are you still here ?I’m new
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Im still here. Sober. How are you liking the forum so far?
Sorry I didn’t know how to use the site properly yesterday and I was reading your thread but could only see the beginning of your sobriety and I was like what happened ,but I managed to figure it out and I can see your ok an managed to do it , this site’s inspirational im on day 4 of no alcohol and day two of cannibis ,im ok im not succumbing to self pity and I’m putting the work in thanks for updating me lolxx
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No worries at all! Some on here choose to make a post and consistently add to it so we can look back and see the progress. Keep reading around for sure!!
I definitely hung out here alot alot during the early days because theirs hope. Plus, as a newcomer you are able to provide support to those with less days or remind some with more time of the agony of early sobriety.
I highly recommend a program of recovery vs just quitting using. Deal with underlying issues when you are more stable and truly feel to joy of freedom from the cycle of addiction.
You are in hell week. Cravings are high. Just know if you work on not using and a recovery cravings will lessen and become less potent with time.
Keep fighting my friend and please dont hesitate to reach out for support
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Wow its been awhile since ive written here.
Alcohol was love laughter and belonging at the beginning of my journey
I wanted more, more, more
Alcohol became a ball and chain, isolating, tears
Here i sit in a midwest town finding common humanity with a 71yo black man from new york as he shares his experience strength and hope
I pray when im 71 im sharing my story of sobriety to the newcomers
Be where your head, hands, and heart are in alignment
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I love this. Beautiful writing. <3
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Thanks @Ballroomdaze i was inspired by a local aa roundup. I was rushing and didnt get to jot down all my thoughts but nows a perfect time as any
There was a 3 day aa convention in my city. I attended a meeting everyday to hear some new stories from people from around the usa. I was especially moved with todays speaker. I was laughing. I was crying. I was safe and loved.
The program and rooms of alcoholics anonymous have given me so much more than teaching me how to string together a couple of one days at a time or how to get thru a craving. Alcoholics anonymous is an amazing community where i have found understanding of myself and others. Ive regained my power by learning to let go. (Still learning) but learning to take positive action. My experience in this life is so much more meaningful and fulfilling since going thru the 12 steps with my sponsor and trying to live a principled life. I could relate to the speaker today who spoke of a fractured soul. I feel like im on a spiritual journey to mend my tormented soul. I have found that belonging that ive always wanted with a room of happy, joyous, and free misfits from all walks of life.
I dont have to drink to belong. I dont have to drink to feel good. I dont have to drink to drown my sorrows. I dont have to continue habits that may have been healthy at one point but no longer serve me.
The hardest part of change is adknowleding and accepting that something has to give.
Not everyday is rainbows and sunshine. Shit, my anxiety got me,after crying happy tears at the convention and having a spiritual experience, because i had other committments and felt time pressure. Im a work in progress. I know thru spiritual progress, mindfulness, practicing healthy mind body and soul habits, and service work i will come out the otherside better and be a source of light for others. Just gotta breathe thru the tough stuff.
The speaker spoke about his religious upbringing and how he learned a god who was a punishing god. When he entered the rooms of aa and saw the word god he didnt want any part of it. But he felt his higher powers love through others in the program. I felt that in my soul!
I wasnt antigod but i was antireligion. I dont relate to a christian god i grew up with. Im greatful i learned the lords prayer in church bc i truly feel that spirituality ive always craved in the rooms of aa reciting it. I pray today to a nondenominational god, to mother earth, to the energy in the universe, to whatever spirit is in the rooms of aa that got me and many others sober! Connecting spiritually with others. Theres something so powerful about being 100% authentic and honest (defects and all) in a room and being met with love and understanding. Its different than therapy. Its different than church. Its a fricken blessing.
Today im a greatful recovering alcoholic thanks to the rooms of aa, sponsorship, the 12 steps, and never getting complacent in my sobriety
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Good morning from midwest usa
Idk if you know this about me but im dual diagnosed. I have mental health issues and im an alcoholic.
Well idk if im swinging towards mania due to stress and less sleep or im just joyous. It sucks i cant tell the difference but why do i care? Im feeling hopeful, joyous, and light today.
We had such a beautiful ladies aa meeting last night. Boy did it fill my spiritual cup. Yeah people are fanatics about aa and to the newcomer it can seem cultish. Hell to me sometimes it feels like a cult. But i get it. The 12 steps change lives. Its a fricken miracle to so many. And working the aa program improves lives and works. Thats why people are gungho about aa. It fricken works. Im not entirely sure how the miracle works, i mean i have some idea with accountability, amends, introspection, and hope in a higher power…
One thing that bugs me is when ladies are super proud of their god and christianity. Good for them but i dont want their biblethumping to deter a newcomer from pursuing the program. Last night i didnt get to share but i will here.
You dont need to believe in a christian god to move forward with the steps. The big book talks about a higher power for this purpose. Yes christianity was big when the creators started. It influenced the text but they had the foresight to say “a higher power of your understanding” that may look different for different people. Please dont let a zealous few deter you from trying the AA program.
My higher power is embodied in nature, the symbol of my spirituality takes many forms but rn its the tree of life symbol. I may not have a face or a person to pray to but i feel my spirituality. Its not a forced religion that i so desperately wanted in my youth. I feel this spirituality in my soul. It is light, it is warm, it is kind, it is love, it is nature, its energy. My higher power takes many forms and i receive these little messages that im on the right path thru other people, thru feelings, thru thinking, thru favorite numbers, through all the serendipity ive experienced. Its a beautiful thing.
Dont quit until the miracle happens. It works if you work it. One day at a time
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Wow feeling emotionally raw after doing a new client intake history with a new therapist. She is dual licensed so experience with mental health and addiction. I think ill give her a shot.
Damn ive lived thru and overcame a lot of heavy shit. Yeah ive got traumas but who doesnt? I dont let them hold me back. Im greatful for good therapy. And emdr to treat my ptsd after being in a serious domestic violence situation.
Ive been raped
Ive been beaten
Ive been lost in hopeless addiction
Ive been suicidal
Ive been committed
Ive been diagnosed and treated
When people see me today (cjp 4.0) i dont think they believe i have trauma. I think people assume ive had a charmed life because of my upbringing, my job, and how i present. My positivity and my mindfulness comes off as easygoing and not bothered. But who if i told you all the shit ive overcame 
Im so very proud of the woman ive became. Its been years in the works but truly getting sober and working my aa program has blessed me with a new lease on life. Damn im greatful. Yeah ive got trauma but that shit wont hold me back. Onwards with my sober warriors
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