Oh no, that sounds awful. I’m glad that your husband was able to take you to the hospital and I hope that you get relief and answers quickly 
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Thank you @Elephanttail i appreciate your post cuz not knowing whats wrong is scary rn
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Being afraid of pain, and being afraid of what the pain means, is worse than the underlying condition, I have found. Have faith that you are in good hands, they want to help you and are doing their best. And you are getting all these healing vibes from us here! 
Everything is gonna be alright.
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Thank you @SinceIAwoke your words are comforting rn.
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Thinking of you! The not knowing is the worst… but you’re in the best place you could be right now…. In good hands. Keep pushing until you’re satisfied with the answers you get
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Oh no, CJ! Sounds extremely painful. Glad you went to the ER. Hopefully, you’ll have answers and treatment very soon.
You sound like me with medical bills. I’m grateful for insurance, but that out of pocket cost causes me anxiety. I do a lot of self talk about making small monthly payments. It doesn’t have to be paid all at once. Our health needs to be priority no matter what the cost.
Wishing you a speedy recovery! 
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@james83 @Lisa07 thanks for the support. I appreciate the comments. I agree health first and small manageable payments arent the end of the world
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Wow its been a longggg ass day. Im greatful for my husband, my sister, my sober sisters, my sponsor, and all of you for helping me get thru today. Im exhausted and trying to unwind now. I finally cried and let out all the confusion and fear and frustration. Its really hard to advocate for oneself but you dont know what to advocate for or the questions to ask.
Good news is i got paid for today and was able to get the healthcare i needed. My husband was there to support me even when his fear presented as anger we navigated it well. I will get my mri hopefully scheduled yet this week. Greatful my sisters a radiologist and can calm some of my nerves and give me more of an explanation than the er doc. Im greatful the pain subsided. I am greatful i had the energy to take boscoe for a long and slow ass walk around the neighborhood to mark all the spots. Im greatful i had the groceries and energy to make dinner. I can breathe. I can relax. I have done enough today. Its ok the let go and just be. Boy was today a mess but with 3.94yrs sober i got proof i have a pretty liver, no cirrhosis, and i didnt crave a drink or smoke once. Im winning
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What a relief to hear you’re finally home relaxing. Hopefully, you’ll get answers after the mri.
How lucky are you to have a sister who’s a radiologist?
Rest up and feel better!
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Really glad to hear that and I hope you get some answers later in the week. Well done for holding it together in a stressful moment - your sober muscles are stronger as a result 
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Glad to hear the ER trip went as well as can be expected. Rest up, take care of yourself, keep doing the next right thing and hold that precious feeling of being a non-drinker/non-smoker over your head like a championship belt when you get to disclose your medical history. 
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Remember lying about how much you drank/smoked? I’m sure I had some check ups with hungover alcohol smell on my body and would only admit to 3 beers a week. I’m grateful I can be honest now.
Hug zee Dr. Boscosito for me. He knows how to help you heal/heel. 
Ha! Dog puns.
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Same. Its good to not have shame and lie about my usage. I even announced i have a history of alcoholism without getting welled up. Im greatful for a good nights rest and a renewed perspective on the events of yesterday
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Oh my. Im so greatful to be sober and hubby quit drinking shortly after. Im greatful for growth. Im greatful for progress over perfection. Last night we celebrated our 5yr wedding anniversary observed bc im headed to cali on our actual anniversary. It was wonderful and we’re madly in love. Just looking back at all we’ve overcome and the love and life we share is amazing. Its been alot of ups and downs but the last year our communication and love and gratitude has grown leaps and bounds.
Date night. He surprised me when i got home. He sang to me and had his cousin play piano. He sang Unforgettable and Ordinary People. I ugly cried full of love and appreciation for our time together, our trimphs, and to have a romantic husband who sang for his worst critic 
he sounded fantastic and had been practicing for months. So we rushed off to a fancy dinner and exchanged our 5yr vows. Got free dessert. Then went to a restaurant/bar and played pool and watched hockey.
That was a full circle moment for both of us. It hit us both at different times. Its been years since we had gone to a bar to play pool and watch hockey. This time fully sober, happy, full of gratitude. Thats huge because in early sobriety it felt so uncomfortable like i wanted to drink. This time he had an na and i had a non alcoholic kombutcha. We got to play pool for free, got a free drink, and left after the 2nd game because we wanted to hurry home. Our sobriety wasnt threatened and we enjoyed ourselves.
This morning we spent some awesome quality time together. Reminiscing. Sharing. Talking about deep stuff and whos transporting boscoe this week.
Marriage isnt easy but its awesome. Im married to my best friend. Its not always easy but im going to ride this in love, anniversary high for as long as i can. So full of gratitude
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Good morning sober warriors,
Im feeling blessed and exhausted. My body battery says fatigued as ive averaged 5hrs of sleep for the last 3 nights. Idk if its FOMO or a new bed but atleast im still on central time. I will be kind and patient today and not act out of fatigue.
Im traveling with my 73yo parents and its been good so far. We only lost our shit on eachother day 3 after a long day, needing a potty break, water, and food. But we laughed at the ridiculousness. I tasked my mom with one decision…where to eat dinner. She mentioned a noodle place, i got excited and then she said she didnt really want it. Im driving and frustrated bc all decisions have been mine and i needed a reprieve. I asked why did you mention noodles?! My dad says i said why did you mention fucking noodles and emphasized my exhaustion but we all giggled in delirium and ultimately found a local mexican joint that was delicious and cheap.Its been a blessing to get this time with my folks.
The trip is a success and we travel home today. We should get home at 7pm our time and i imaging i will be exhausted. My poor folks kept up with my speed the whole time so im sure theyll sleep for a week. 
I am greatful for my relative youth and not feeling the compulsion to drink to excess every day of vacation. It makes travel cheaper, memories last, and i have more energy and joy. I dont want to go back to the chains of my addiction so i will practice my 12 step program and try to stay principled with a daily reprieve
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I like my numbers today
Im up at 3am because Boscoe hates storms. Oh well i have time to take a nap this afternoon. Just checking in to document more of my sober journey.
I’ve been debating taking on a 3rd sponsee for awhile and have been feeling like i need more service work lately. Then i felt compelled to raise my hand last saturday at a meeting when they asked who sponsors and a young lady came straight up to me after and asked me to be her sponsor. Wow i wasnt expecting it to happen so fast be here we are
I didnt commit on the spot. I learned from others to pray on it. I feel i have the capacity to take her on. We’re meeting today after a 10am. Ill learn more about her. Share my story and my approach to sponsorship. Describe what a sponsor is and how i approach the steps then ask her if shed like to proceed.
Im a bundle of nerves but know that how this procedes is out of my control and to pray and consult my sponsor.
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Im exhausted. Im running on 3hours of sleep out of town for my nephews graduation. In the middle of a meds change and just exhausted but anxious as fuck. I will sleep well tonight
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Checking in to ramble. Ive been up since 1am after being woken up by my sister in law telling us she committed herself to the hospital and the kids are with her brother. Im trying to have compassion but its so frustrating when she reaches out for help, we offer steps to help (with healthy boundaries) and she doesnt take action. Her life is a dumpster fire in my husbands words. I just sat and listened to him vent. Luckily he was able to fall back asleep as he works at 6am.
So here i am up still at 3:33am catching up on my ts threads. I fear we may need to take in my niece and nephew while my sister-in-law is in the hospital. Im sure i could do it but im just starting the full dose of my new med and havent been sleeping well. Idk if i can do it but i dont want to be seen as a selfish person not helping.
The thing is, is that hubby would be working and i would have to watch em, find care, cook, supervise, entertain, all while navigating my new meds, work stress, and exhaustion.
Thank goodness i have therapy today. I have texts drafted to send to my sponsees that we’ll need to catch up over the phone rather than in person. Debating if i should skip the gym and just take a long walk.
Woooheee this is me trying not to future trip and live in fear. Just for today i will let go and use my sober toolbox to get thru it
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Wow, that’s a lot.
In my opinion I would do what I can but not over my limits. You already are dealing with med change and adjusting. Please take care of yourself first and be honest when taking care of two kids fulltime is too much! There are always shared, different solutions if we dig deeper and are open.
Sending you hugs and strength
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Your ability to listen to your husband vent and to clearly help to form a plan are 100% gifts of sobriety, so you do have plenty to be grateful about in this situation. And you do have a therapist to help you navigate as well.
A thought I had is perhaps you and the brother can tag-team the child care? The kids must need quite a bit of reassurance that they are going to be ok while Mama is away, so them just having some stable people in their life daily will go a long way toward that end.
Blessings on your house today and every day.
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