ain’t that the truth, then spent the night trying to drink in my dreams but couldn’t get one there either, woke up a bit thirsty today.
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another clean and sober day draws to a close. @Muffin1226 . My nightly journal is dedicated to people like you, with a goal of love and a desire to be a better person and parent you show me that there are beautiful people in the world with the strength to hold on to what’s important in their life. Being a good parent is not a fore gone conclusion, I went through the care system and nobody fought to keep me so for me personally with what you have achieved, which at times must of scared the shit out of you, my faith in humanity has been restored. You and others like you are what recovery is all about, I don’t know the age of your child or how much this blessed person understands but on behalf of all those children who have been given up on. I THANK YOU.
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A touching share that wee paul, thank you. 
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@Dolse71 way to make me cry, thank you for sharing. My son is 8. Not fighting for him wasn’t an option and giving up isn’t an option. His dad walked out 3 years ago, and a boy needs his momma.
He is an amazing little guy, rarely ever do I have to discipline him at all. Hold doors open, opens my car door for me.
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just can’t teach some children things like that, my grandson was in a shop, he is 5 and a little girl asked her mum for some sweets and the mum said she couldn’t afford it, so he went up to her and said he had some sweet money and is it OK if he bought her a sweet.
also at school a girl feel over and everyone was laughing, he went to help her but his friend said if you help her I won’t talk to you anymore so he went and helped her anyway and gave her a kiss and said everything is going to be OK. Some people are just born good.
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That sounds like my sweet Tooty (his nickname)
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I’m glad you put that in brackets 
, sorry
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I have friends and family when I mention him by first name they have no clue who I’m talking about.
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Well I’m gonna call him lucky. Not everyone can do what you’ve done, you do know this don’t you.
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so here we are again, another day won. been shopping for a suit today, I’ve got 2 funerals in one week. Yes it bothers me. These are with my oldest of drinking buddies it was done on a Friday especially so people could drink and have the next day off. My plan is a cup of tea and move on to lemonade but I’m only 99.99% sure I won’t have one for old times sake. I’m not happy posting this but it’s the truth, I can’t leave early either bc it’s my best mates mum who has passed and when he hits the whisky he will need me, it will all get very emotional and messy, cocaine will probably appear at some point too. I don’t need advice I’m just laying it down in black and white to see what the reality looks like. it’s going to be awful and I’m going to be the strongest I’ve ever been.
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I believe in you Paul. I’m going to be turning drink away this weekend at a family wedding and all the gatherings before and after. I’ll say a prayer for you and your best mate. That’s hard to lose a mom like that. Hugs.
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I believe in you too Paul. It’s gonna be tough and we’re here for you! Shout if you need us and we’ll come running. 
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Praying for you Paul. Will keep you in my thoughts. Hoping the next two days are steady for you. Take care and check in with us here if you can.
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117 and 77, feeling really distant at the moment, bit like the edge of anxiety, as if I’m waiting for something bad to happen. Yet I’m doing all the things I always do to keep positive. Still falling asleep in the middle of everyday and now when I brush my teeth it’s like I’ve been punched in the mouth and they bleed loads, this is new, bad teeth mean bad health I’ve read somewhere, dreams still mad as well. I thought I was better but lately I’m not so sure. I read on here and have nothing useful to say, or just get wound up. And to top it all off I’m really quite happy inside, how bizarre.
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Remember, you are exactly where you are supposed to be brother!
Stay tuned
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Big emojis???
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Sorry for your loss… 
You are in my thoughts and prayers… 
I come from a long line of sinners like me so I understand those kind of funerals (where people think drinking and drugs might help or they are so hurt they can’t bare it sober, done that too)… Stay strong Paul… 
You got this brother… 
Sorry again I derailed your bread thread 
with my PTSD from my past work life… 🤦 I thought I was completely safe to talk about food… I’m better now on that… Thanks again…
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Yeah I know. Don’t know why
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don’t apologise, the whole thread was a joke to start with. be strong beautiful lady.
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