Well what can I say about today as usual was full of good intentions then after work I met a friend from AA buying beer in the shop and that was the beginning of that. Try again tomorrow.
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Tomorrow is a new day.
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I will be going to bed sober tonight. By spending time on zoom today and watching and listening to other alcoholics, some in tears, Iām beginning to see Iām not as weak as I think I am. Addiction is a human disease and the only cure is our mind.
Even when I am in my own darkness Iām always fighting and it might not be obvious to anyone on the outside bc they just see me drinking but Iām always asking the questions, Iām always trying to solve the riddle. Drinking soon starts to get boring and the crap that comes along with it doesnāt take long to set in. It only took about 3 days to go from 1 to 10 pints a day and thatās just getting warmed up as a week from now I wonāt even feel 10 itās back to drinking on the way back from the shops so it doesnāt look so bad to my Mrs. Next not eating, depression, anxiety, feeling ill and tired all the time, fearing everyone and everything.
Iām not ready for all that again I canāt live like that Iāve not got the energy. Be strong. 
.
Itās not what you are doing wrong when you relapse itās a disgusting illness that we all go through, we just keep going. Iām not taking the blame for any of this as I didnāt choose this but I can choose to try and change it, itās not going to be pretty on the way but Iāll get there. 
Weāll get there.
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Thatās the spirit! Keep trying. Donāt quit.
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Try not to get down on yourself. It takes many of us several or more tries to come to the realization that we are better not to drink. You are only human after all. We will be there for you buddy when you are ready. I have been reading the personal stories in the back of the big book to help me realize that there are many before us who are this same way. God hasnāt lost us. He is always there with all the glorious promises always patient and always waiting for us to return like the prodigal sons that we are.
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Beautifully said! And so very true.
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Good night. staying Sober.
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last post said I was going to bed sober but somehow I took a beer to bed so had to resetā¦ so once again I started the day knowing in my heart I was just to stay sober today but as the day went on at work and it got closer to the weekend off beer seemed a well deserved idea. Went to shop bought eight cans and a bottle of fizzy drink. I canāt drink it for some reason, Iāve just had enough, even the thought of it makes me feel a bit sick. So tonight I really am going to bed sober.
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donāt know how I did it but I did and thatās all that matters, I really didnāt expect to stay sober today but with doing what your meant to do and keep using all the tools available to you and keeping an open mind and staying grateful for every sober moment anything is possible. be strong.
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Glad you havenāt given up fighting for your sobriety Paul. Massive hugs from Texas. 
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with the help of bike rides, chocolate and AA meetings and @adeygaga49 today is another sober day. This illness is about sticking together and fighting it as a team, yes most of us feel lonely but how and why bc look at us all, look at what we have in common but still have enough self wisdom and often strangely perfect timing of words to share and support each other.This is all truth and fact bc normally I get a few days sobriety behind me and I get all deep while sitting on cloud 9,not this time Iāve been here before and Iām truly grateful but if my head does go in the clouds Iām keeping both my feet firmly on the ground.
I gotta learn to walk before I can even consider flying. Be strong.
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Team work today helped us both I believe. Very grateful to be in bed and sober so thank you again 
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@Dolse71 
we are all in this togetherā¦ Leaning on each other in the time of need. One day at a time, one hour at a time, for an alcoholic like me itās mostly one breath at a time. Thank you Paulā¦
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One alcoholic helping another. @adeygaga49 thank you for being there. I canāt but we can. Itās not an I program, itās a we program. We stay sober together. good job you two, proud of you.
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My first day completed. Delughted
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Thank you itās lovely to wake up sober on my birthday. @Dolse71 definitely helped me through yesterday. Awake sober and intend to finish my birthday sober also . You have a great sober day 
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Happy sober birthday my new friend. Make it a great oneā¦ Just for today #Teamwork
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Iām beginning to start getting that nice sober buzz back the confidence in life and the gratitude of each day. Iām frightened to relax and enjoy it though bc when that happens I start thinking Iām cured again for the 50th time, chin up high feet on the ground. Easy does itā¦ Be strong.
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Hi five Paul just focus on today 
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