OK so easy so far but had absolutely no stress all week as I’ve not been to work. Let’s see how much I have changed tommorow when I get home after a long shift working with idiots and walk into an empty house, this will tell me how much I have changed. Personally right now I don’t think I’m going to give a shit and just get on with it like I have all week. I feel extremely blessed when I get one of these attempts and have no cravings but unlike before I’m not falling for the trick where I think it’s so easy to stop I can have whatever I want when I want. The prospect of being 1 year sober on my 50th birthday has totally changed the game. Pity I didn’t do this about 10 years ago bc life is meant to begin at 40. It’s all just numbers really as my brain is still 18 and my body is 80. Be strong, Be grateful.
Paul, buddy, slow down.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring. If we live in the now we don’t look further than the next moment.
We can’t look back and regret not doing it earlier we are exactly where we are supposed to be right now!
No more no less.
Let tomorrow bring whatever it will bring.
So something has definitely changed, 8 hour shift went in shop and went straight to the sparkling water and the odd thing is I couldn’t wait to get home and put my feet up and drink it, lovely cold and refreshing. Also I didn’t go straight to the ashtray and see if Laura has left half a joint in it, actually up until I’ve just wrote this I’ve just realised I still don’t know if there is one there as it hasn’t even crossed my mind. Be strong, Be grateful.
feeling ill and tired but in my daily journel, not this one I’ve got another, I still write I’m feeling great bc every day I stay sober it is a great feeling no matter what else is going on. Your all amazing so Be strong, Be grateful.
Start of a new week and beginning to add a 30 day exercise plan, nothing to crazy just about 15 minutes a day for starters. In the past I’ve just gone all in with everything I did, I guess that is the obsessive thinker and doer in us addicts, this time though its slowly slowly catchy monkey. Going to bed sober. Be strong, Be grateful.
I’ve got a bloody big monkey on my back if you want to catch it ?
. Goodnight my friend
That’s starting to sound better Paul.
Take a minute today and pray for all those suffering alcoholics. I’ve heard this so many times that sometimes I use that minute to decide what I’m going to have for lunch, today though after reading posts on here if you have a god of your understanding and if it feels the will to help one other person surely it could well be the most important minute of your day today. Be strong, Be grateful.
Night Pauly 
I knew me having a sponsor would cause an argument at home she says I’m pushing her further away, well if you want to live with a drunk I feel sorry for your naivety, selfishness and lack of love for yourself that you find other people in my life a threat to you. I’m doing the best I can and it really has to be for me bc no one else cares. if she cared about me she would be happy for me. My nightly journal asks have I been selfish today, well that would depend if not sitting there like a dog waiting to be told what to do and when is selfish then I am guilty as charged. Anyway be strong, Be grateful.
I take you’ve told her that you aren’t pushing her away?
That this is going to benifit both of you eventually?
Night Paul.
Don’t worry too much. You may have to live with a grumpy other half but I think once she sees how happy you are things may change.
You just have to prove its worth it.
nah trust me I’ve been with her over 20 years now and if it doesn’t involve her she just puts it down. What will be will be. 
I’d say selfish. But selfishness isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You can be proud of your selfishness today.
You were selfish for non-selfish goals. Good job paul
Well I’ve not experienced a day like today before and all bc of my sponsor and step one work. This shit is going to rock me to my boots and teach me things about myself I never knew existed. It’s very very early days and I already feel like a child in a man’s world. I’m not half as clever as I thought I was and I’m definitely not as humble as I’m going to be at the end. It’s a scary excitement all rolled into one. Be strong, Be grateful.
We are all but uneducated children Paul. We know nothing.
Our journey is one of loving and learning.
First day back at work and had a really nice day enough to keep me busy and make the day go quick, I’m off tommorow and in a really good mood. This is usually a recipe for disaster a couple of weeks ago, happy times and days off why wouldn’t I drink all night get high and have a lay in bed. Didn’t even cross my mind until I did my nightly journal and reflected on the day. Got in a meeting with a new group and they seemed like a nice bunch, took something away from it and that’s all that matters. A woman had 25 years sober and does exactly the same each day now as she did on day one. it will follow you for the rest of your life so take the 12 steps now and keep 1 step ahead. Be strong, Be grateful.
At first glance, I was like… who’s posting on Paul’s thread?" Then I realized, it was you. With all the name and avatar changes lately, I don’t know who’s who anymore. lol. I like it though!!!
Btw… I’m watching your awesome progress even though I’m not posting a lot.
it’s very early days but for the first time I’m doing it the right way and not my way, my way doesn’t work. It’s nearly midnight and my sponsor is still sending me voice messages, tommorow he’s setting me up with a positive support network???, I hope one day we all never speak bc our lives are too productive and we all have far more enjoyable things to do. I would be happy for you and everyone if I never saw you again and you checked in in 10 years time with the story of your life. It would be beautiful. take care and God bless 
“You don’t get over an addiction by stopping using. You recover by creating a new life where it is easier to not use. If you don’t create a new life, then all the factors that brought you to your addiction will catch up with you again.”
– Anonymous