Hello everyone, recently I find myself having bad anxiety. I’ve been on a small journey to become a healthier version of myself and its been going great. BUT (theres always a damn “BUT”) I’ve been getting these damn anxiety attacks and I have no clue where they’re coming from. I had to stop gaming because my anxiety becomes anger and I just rather not deal with that. I’m also doing a 16 hour fast everyday…maybe thats messing with my head a bit…but I feel like I’ve gotten use to not eating as much. I’ve dropped about 50 pounds since mid December…I’m not usually hungry when these damn anxiety attacks happen either. I’ve also started weight lifting again, very light due to a back injury…its just driving me crazy. Im up till 6am tossing and turning…going in and out of my house…might as well be tweaking again! I haven’t had to deal with this type of shit since early recovery/sobriety…5 years later and im still suffering from this shit. It all starts with this weird feeling in my chest…kinda like a “impending doom” feeling. Then I just feel like exploding out of my skin, like running as fast as I can and ripping everything apart…obviously, I don’t do that…but I’m just angry as fuk after. Any one else going through this? Or something similar?
Maybe its time to address if there is something that is repressed in you that might be causing the anxiety in you?
Hmm theres a lot thats kept in…I grew up in a place where feelings were seen as weakness…Even as a kid, all I knew was anger…Its not something I enjoy talking about, but its there. I feel like “love” is taboo…
Why you gotta make me go there? 
You dont have to its your choice my friend, you dont have to do it here…but i think from what youve said a proffessional therapist could help you alot. Feelings arent weakness…they are there to tell you something so that you can progress…the difference is is that you are not a child anymore…you can now unpick whats bothering you through your now adult and sober brain.
It’s been a work in progress…a long progress…sometimes I feel like I take one step foward and two steps back…I haven’t talked to my therapist since the beginning of Covid…I don’t do well with phone calls and thats all they wanted to do. I need a physical person to talk to. Maybe you’re right…its time to go back and do some leg work.
Thank you for checking me. Needed that.
I think so…covid is pretty much over now n we kinda just have to live with that but if the therapy was helping before then now is the time you can pick those face to face sessions back up and hopefully not have live like this…everyone is different but for me my own anxiety was like a physical manifestation of past rejection and trauma. It doesnt matter how long things take just know that you are worth the time and effort you put into yourself.
I spent years repressing my feelings…pushing them down…telling myself i shouldnt feel how i felt…it was a daily battle of fighting myself resulting in my escaping myself with booze…its only now that im sober and doing the work on myself that im really getting to know who i am and that whatever i feel is ok.
Damn bro, that’s some strong stuff you’re going through. Your description of “impending doom” hit me like an unexpected gut punch. I recall similar anxious moments ending up in me jumping out of bed at 2am, running outside in my undies in 2 degrees Celsius temperature. The dread was overwhelming and I needed to feel the cold shock to bring me back to the present.
Talking face to face with a therapist helped me to work through underlying issues, some I didn’t even realise were an issue to begin with. What I’m saying is, getting things off your chest is a great start.
Yeah…Ive been outside since 1am with my husky. Its only 50 degrees here. So its not too cold. But its almost 4am now so I will be trying to sleep. Its weird but the cold does seem to help.
Yeah I guess I’ll be making that call later today.
Oh man, I know how you feel on that one. I know I need to accept what I feel. But I’ve gotten so good and just “maning up” and I try to get over it. It’s obviously not working.
Give yourself permission to do that because its ok u know…makes you more of a ‘man’ to accept the truth and go about dealing with it imo, all ‘maning up’ is is denial and suppression, being blind to something doesnt make it disappear
Gotta love those Huskies! My therapist actually said that patting a pet during anxious moments can be helpful to centre you again. Hopefully your husky plus the cold helps you to relax into sleep. Wish you well.
Wow. Never thought about it that way…
Right! Shes really good at knowing when I need some love and when I need my space. Right now she’s forgetting shes over 50lbs and wants to sit on my lap 
Thank you my friend.
Ahh she knows…they know everything!
Unconditional love 
something I need to learn with people lol.
Maybe that will come once you start unravelling things…i think we are all capable of it.
There is a documentary on Netflix called ‘Stutz’ i found that really helpful…
Ill check it out if I can’t sleep 
A friend of mine told me (I’m certain he never came up with it, though it stuck), every time that word “BUT” comes up, stop and take note, “Behold the Underlying Truth). I’m not sure it’s helpful to you, though I’ve taken note every time I use it and try to understand where and why it’s there.
Sounds like you have the right mindset and attitude my friend, you just need to figure out what’s the underlying issue at play.
Wishing you well on your discovery and hope you get to the bottom so as to accept yourself and appreciate you with all your faults and strengths.
Just from a physical standpoint…as a former nutritionist and personal trainer, I am going to tell you what I think may be happening. Fasting is a great way to detox and get those hormones back to a normal level…but that is done as a temporary fast only lasting up to 3 days. Fasting for long periods of time (16 hrs per day for several days/months) can cause cortisol levels to rise at a rapid pace in the body. Higher levels of cortisol (stress hormones) can cause anxiety, irritability, depression, headaches, stomach issues, skin conditions, etc. Another thing to note is the rapid weight lose you spoke about (50 pounds in 3 months). Rapid weight lose is extremely bad for your body and mental health. It deprives your body of essential nutrients causing dehydration, liver dysfunction, increased levels of cortisol, vitamin deficiencies, hair loss, loss of lean muscle mass, a plethora of mental health issues, the list keeps going! You should always aim to lose between 1.5 - 2 lbs per week safely, meaning eating a clean diet and regular exercise. Also something to note on the psychological side of things, I’ve seen plenty of my clients have crazy amounts of anxiety and stress after a major weight change because they had an intense fear of gaining back the weight that they had worked so hard to lose. I would start by ending the fasting by slowly reintroducing food back to a normal daily 3 meals, 2 snacks or 5 small meals per day. Then I would start a good vitamin regimen (multivitamin, probiotic, added electrolytes, etc). Make sure you are taking a small walk everyday to get rid of that excess cortisol. Breathing exercises before bed (look up an app on your phone to follow along. 5 mins goes a long way!). A cup of hot green tea with honey before bed also has a nice way of relaxing the body and mind. Just some things to think about 
I hope the best for you! Prayers!