Any crystal meth addicts?


#1

Anyone here a recovering crystal meth addict? I’ve been smoking meth daily for six years. Gave myself schizophrenia from doing so.

I find quitting really hard… I find time slows down when I’m not on it. I get anxious. Can’t sit still or stand still… just tonnes of nervous energy. Nothing seems to amuse me. Everything feels like such a chore.

I know I just gotta get over that hump. But sometimes life is simply unbarable sober…

Any success stories of someone that went through similar withdrawal?


#2

I am 8 days today clean from crystal. It sucks and it hurts. I wish someone would have told me that so there that is. It can be done it’s just doing it. I have no real advice right now as I am figuring this all out to. This forum is really the only support I have right now. Hit me up anytime you need to


#3

Hey. Cheers. I seem to b able to make it 3 days clean on average. But then I get so fed up and frustrated I cave and grab a half ball… its a shifty never ending cycle… thing is, I still enjoy it. I just need to quit kuz the schizophrenia is really tough to deal with at times. Its like being on acid all day every day. Hearing negative voices and seeing holographic people that aren’t there.

So I either do crystal and freak out mentally or I stop doing crystal and get super depressed and so anxious I could jump out of my skin… either way I’m tucked.

So frustrating


#4

You are not alone on that. I have the same experience. I’m paranoid schizophrenic and bipolar. When I’m using and I take it to far I see shadow people on the walls. Over the last year and a half they where more friends than anything. When I start coming down the extreme anger in the bipolar would take over and I would literally go hulk smash. Don’t get me wrong I have never been physical with my wife or son but my wife especially was the brunt of all that rage and anger. Then followed by depression so intense if my 45 wasn’t missing we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I’m at a point where any more of this I’m in prison, in a psych ward, or in a grave. Most likely the later. Its going to be hard. Especially like you said around day 3 and 4. But we have to fight. Fight with every fiber of your being. Fight like it’s life or death because at the end of the day it is. I encourage you to do online research or research of some kind so you know what’s coming. I don’t mean to sound negative in any way but the worse is yet to come for us. We have destroyed neurons and nerve recptors in our brains that will take years to repair. Just fight through. If you have a living support system like a wife or significant other lean on them and encourage them to learn all they can. It may be to late for. My wife is unsure about the future of our marriage but I still can’t quit trying.


#5

Hey,
I smoke for about two and half years. I am around 130 days sober. And everyday I think about it at some point. I miss the lifestyle it gave me in a sense. I was living with my ex and his house was the go to house. We had some fun times that haunt me. But with those fun times came horrible times. Its strange how something that feels so good can turn and feel so bad. I’m feeling isolated now because I’ve left that life behind and I am trying to build my own drug free life. It is very hard and lonely at times. I’m nervous to make friends. I’m use to having friends they do drugs it’s a scary time at the moment. Because of how lonely I feel. Days do just seem to drag. So much good has happened I bought a car, I have a part time job. I can’t seem to be happy and it worry’s me. I feel like I’ve been off ice for this long because I’m just over everything. Over life. I understand where you are coming from. I feel you. I haven’t been very supportive however I understand you. I guess we just keep moving forward.
Let me know how you are going.


#6

To be 100% at this moment I’m not too well


#7

I am not a meth addict myself but i grew up with one. My father has been a meth addict since i was about 8 years old. I am 22 now. My father also now has drug induced paranoid schizophrenia. He has suffered from this for about 10 years. I know what its like to sit nack and watch a substance destroy your family and the person you love. Meth is like a jealous monster. It gets jealous of everything you have in your life that isnt meth, then it slowly takes them all away. Meth has ruined my family and my dads life. If you ever need a different perspective on the drug or addiction then hit me up.


#8

Thanks for the perspective. Right now I’m in limbo with my wife as far as are we going to stay married or not. Right now my mind is racing but have no motivation to do anything. I’m on edge for no reason. I’m terrified about thinking if she’s staying or leaving and the ramifications it could have on my sobriety. I’m scared for my son. I don’t want to lose him but don’t want him to see me like this.


#9

Keep focusing on you and getting better! Meetings. Do you see a psychologist… I go once a week it has helped me emensly. She is non judgemental and is so supportive. Sometimes all you need is one person to help you when you feeling this low. All the best.


#10

I start seeing the psychologist tomorrow morning. I’m worried if she is going to put me in an inpatient facility. That would be a great idea for me not so great for my wife and son. I’m the one who makes the biggest part of the money that pays rent utilities etc. I don’t know what to do.


#11

You need to get clean for you first. And then your son. You cant be a father and a addict trust me it doesnt work. Addiction always wins. How old is your son if you dont mind me asking? If you ever have questions about how you can be better for him let me know. Or if he has questions or even if you just hit a rough spot with parenting and sobriety


#12

He is 6. He didn’t know what was going on for quit some time until his mom started telling him things about it that in my opinion he isn’t ready for and wasn’t really her place to say. What is your opinion on that. I think the conversation should have come from me because I know how I’m feeling and what’s going okn in my head. All she told him was daddy does drugs because he’s a bad person. How does that help any one


#13

That’s not nice. In my opinion the bad person part. Because you are not a bad person. You are sick and going through addiction and you need help and by the sounds of it you want help. I think you should have spoke to your son together and a calm setting. Maybe you can still both sit down with him and discuss it. He probably already knew something was off about you. His your child. My dad was an alcoholic and a gambler and I knew from a young age something wasn’t right. My mum always told me bad things about him and it hurt me I wish he sat down with me at some point to discuss what was going on in his life, but that’s me. Maybe he is too young I dont have children so it’s hard for me to say. Keep being strong for you. And your family will see that you are trying.


#14

Well. I’ve already relapsed. Doesn’t help all my friends seem to b users… and my fiance is a keen user that will only stop using due to lack of money… sigh… I feel so stuck. But I may have a job lined up in a few weeks or a month… that’ll b a positive change that will b good for sobriety…

Its just hard kuz I have really persistent and really derogatory voices that run through my head all day. And my coping mechanism is meth. If they overwhelm me I hit the pipe.

I wish this were easier. Life fucking sucks


#15

As of yesterday I cut ties with ALL of the people I either bought from used with or was associated with. I deleted almost EVERY contact in my phone except those that are crucial to my sobriety. I literally have maybe 6 numbers in my phone where as I had over 50. As far as your fiance…if it were me I would cut ties there too. No baby please no ultimatums. If you are serious about your sobriety be cutthroat be ruthless with zero fucks given. After all if your getting clean and she isn’t and you slip up is that really giving a shit about you. Just my opinion. I have let seemingly decent people go. I’m not letting my wife go That easy especially since her only crime is being with a selfish asshole like me. I took a beautiful caring women and in the span of a little over 2 years had jaded her turned my back on her chewed her up and spit her out and since I do things to the extreme stomped on what was left and now I expect her to be there for me. I expect her to raise me out of this shit of a life that I created. Am I really that arrogant and egotistical to expect that. 3 weeks ago yes, today whoever I know she could do better and deserves better than me. It’s hard but it must be done for you.


#16

The withdrawal from meth made me depressed… I started working out to get the natural endorphins kicking in. Im 10 months sober and feel great. The withdrawal will not last forever it gets better!


#17

How long did ur withdrawal last?

And I can’t cut ties with my fiance. She has been there through my mental decay into schizophrenia. Cooked cleaned payed bills reassured me its all in my head. She’s a sweetheart and I couldn’t do that. She’s good about not doing it around me or having it on her when im around when I ask.

I almost up and moved to Peterborough Ontario from kamloops bc to get away from the shit. That’s a 375 day bus ride away. And if I didn’t have a mental health issue, I woulda actually followed through with it.

And if ur wife truly loves u and ur truly sorry she should b able to forgive u and help u through your strife.


#18

That is a very good point. Yesterday she told me I love you too after I told her that is the first time she has said that in almost a month. It melted my heart and changed my perspective on our relationship. I now see hope. Maybe in the case of you and your fiance maybe you two should consider embarking on the journey of sobriety together. Would that be a viable option? I guess the key element I lost over the past few weeks was hope. There is always hope but it’s easy to lose perspective of. Also my perspective or lack of sometimes on reality is not that of a normal brain function but I hope with proper medication and the time it takes the brain to heal itself that will get better too.


#19

Man I lost everything from dope,my family, my job,my soul.Hang in their brother it ain’t easy but it’s worth it


#20

I’ve been using meth for the last 20 years… Sometimes once a month, sometimes everyday, sometimes not for 6 months.
For the past year I’ve been back using intravenously after a few years of smoking it and feel my control spiralling out of control. It sucks to turn 45 and realise that you have no idea what kind of adult you really are, would of been, without all that use.
I’ve been lucky to be able to moderate my use and have managed to somehow keep it from my 16 year old son and work colleagues.
Im socially fucked. Totally isolated myself from having friends and relationships. It’s so depressing.
I went on an antidepressant, Effexor, 8 years ago. Over the years its helped massively with withdrawal and anxiety cos basically it just numbs you , but im a slave to that now too I spose and I’ve smoked pot since I was a teenager. Im 45 now. And only just realising that i may end up an old junky with nothing. I always thought I’d grow out if it. Don’t let the years slip by