Any other LGBTQ here?


#1

Well if you didn’t know, I’m a gay woman. I am gender nonconforming (meaning my presentation is more male…male clothes, short hair, etc even though I do identify as a woman) and I typically am very uncomfortable in a lot of spaces. Every time I tried to go to AA, the crowd was not what I am used to, and so I spent the whole time feeling self-conscious (I’ve had a lot of negative experiences with people making comments, etc). These past couple of relapses have told me that I cannot do it on my own, but I was wary of going back to AA. That is until I found a network of LGBTQ centered AA meetings. I haven’t been to one yet, I’m going to my first one tonight! I will comment back with updates on how it was, but I figured I’d throw it out there in case there was anyone else here who needed that resource. The LGBTQ community is wrought with people with drinking issues so I was excited to see these groups.

The website that you can search to see if there is one nearby is www.gayandsober.org. Hope this helps someone else as well!


Happy Pride Month!
#2

@kpear826. Strange. I have found that the AA meetings I attend to be very welcoming and accepting to all kinds of people including LGBTQ. Just like everyone else - people wanting to get sober. In my Denver AA Meeting book, I have noticed AA meetings for the LGBTQ community. Stay sober.


#3

It’s probably less about the people being welcoming, as I also have found them to be so, and more about my mental hang ups that keep me from being comfortable therefore I become distracted and anxious when I should be listening and learning if that makes sense. I was just suggesting an alternative for people who may feel like I do.


#4

I’m not LGBTQ - total cis white female here - but I am very curious to hear how your meeting goes tonight. Please update us.


#5

You go girl, I am straight and didn’t like AA meetings… Lol hope you find the perfect fit…


#6

AA isn’t my thing but I’m glad you’ve found a group that might fit your needs! Let us know how it goes! In response to the title - I am a bi-sexual female who is married to a man. Unfortunately, there can definitely be some exclusion from both the gay and straight communities for us bi folk :confused:. In any case, thank you for sharing! I haven’t seen this subject broached often on here and it’s good to open up the dialogue.


#7

I should try one of these meetings. I attend a woman’s meeting and they’re pretty nice there, but I’m sure I’d feel right at home in a LGBT AA meeting. Thanks for the info


#8

Gay male here. We have a LGBTQ AA clubhouse in my city but I haven’t enjoyed it anymore than some of the other meetings I’ve visited. Maybe just my experience? I’ve actually found this forum to be more helpful and motivational than any AA meeting. Best of luck in finding a place you feel comfortable!!


#9

Gay male here also. I have mixed experiences at AA, no direct comments about my sexuality, I don’t hide it,but I’m not camp or obviously gay. But when asked about my personal situation I am honest.

Some meetings I have heard homophobic comments, I just choose not to engage with those people, if they engage with me I don’t hide who I am. It’s their problem and if they think that I am a threat or want to jump in to bed with them then they really need to get over themselves… As if :joy:


#10

I’m gay too… I’m just starting out here but I’ve heard there a lot of gay men and women at aa meetings


#11

Not exactly sure what I’m looking to get out of a LGBTQ AA meeting. I’m not totally sold on AA to begin with but I’m at the point that I need outside help and guidance (previously attempted to stay sober on my own) and so I thought I’d give it a shot and see what it’s about? I’ll update with my thoughts tonight after the meeting.


#12

One of my very best friends is gay and attends an LGBT meeting right near my house. I don’t know what the Q bit is? That’s not been picked up on over here I don’t think. I’m not the biggest fan of AA but I will say whenever I went they were very open and friendly with anybody, regardless of sex, race or sexuality. Don’t give up if you’re going the AA route, some lovely people there.


#13

Maybe try a women’s AA meeting? I know they have 1 of each a week at the place I go to my meetings. But that’s only 2 meetings a week.

What recommend is go to that meeting tonight and find someone you are comfortable with and talk to them about it. They will be more than happy to help you in any way they can.

You’re doing great pal! Keep at it🙂


#14

Went to the meeting tonight and loved it! Not sure if it was because I’m ready to be in AA or if it was because it was LGBTQ. Tonight was a step meeting, next week is a discussion so I guess I will see then if it’s any different. Either way it was a good meeting and look forward to going to another one :grinning:


#15

You’re not alone. Gay woman here! I would be more inclined to go to an AA meeting if it were LGBTQ… I don’t know if I have any around where I live, probably!


#16

You might! Check the site! :grinning:


#17

I definitely have gone threw the same thing. You just have to adapt. It’ll get better.


#18

I hope someone will read this reply. Technically should prolly b separate thread, but here goes…

I predict my 9 year old son will come out one day. Lately he’s being made fun of more and more for “acting like a girl”. I would LOVE to connect with others in recovery about lgbtq stuff. My heart hurts so bad, when I learn he is bullied for just being himself. He’s a great kiddo. Just learned of a verbal bully incident today at school and all I want to do now is drink to numb this pain. My family needs a sober wife/mother tho. There r 3 meetings from that site above in Birmingham, AL. Never been to a meeting. Kinda wanna bust in there to make lgbtq friends and find support. Any feedback?


#19

I’m gay, it’s sad he’s going through this, kids can be nasty sometimes. I was never directly bullied about my sexuality as I played sports and fitted in with my friends but I did hear the insults towards others often enough and knowing I was gay it hurt me and added to my insecurities.

He’s got a way to go before his sexuality surfaces in my opinion, so don’t fret too much about it and know that if he is gay he’ll be ever so lucky to have accepting parents as not everyone is so fortunate.

It affected my relationship with my parents and I was kept “closeted” from my father by my family for a long time until one day I thought “to hell with them” and I told him and his reaction was better than everyone. When I did it, a huge cloud lifted from me.

Happy to chat to you anytime if you want some advice.


#20

Maybe there is something for parents in this case. One of my program friends that watches my daughter for me sometimes has a very open gay son. He is heavy into theatre and is super fun to be around. He also seems to have a lot of gay/lesbian friends at his school and we live in kind of a Podunk place in VA. I could ask him for his input if he knows of anything. He says he has known he was gay his whole life.

Everybody loves him. My daughter says he is her fav person who “watches” her. He is 17 and is just so relatable. I am not sure if it is a gay thing or a child of an addict thing where they are mature in a lot of ways and underdeveloped in others. Whatever it is, watching my daughter click with him makes me happy. Talking about some of my poly past without him needing to be caught up on vocabulary or pausing for the oddities to sink in is nice too. I find that refreshing because gay men I know who have left childhood behind seem so vehemently anti poly. I imagine because they have fought so hard to be taken seriously and treated normally and they deserve monogamy. And they do, it is just nice to see the gay little man so open to it and not feeling like it’s existence encroaches on the legitimacy of his personal plight the way it seem older gay men feel it does.

Babble babble. I could ask him if there are support groups or online things if you would like.

Funny sidenote, there was a club at this charter elementary school in Durham that my buddy teaches at that has a club called GLOW. This stands for gay, lesbian, or whatever. The kids dreamed that up.