I just wanted to send you and your son a virtual hug. He is lucky to have a sober mom who cares in his corner. 
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Gotta agree here, using what little practical experience I have. When I was growing up (in a pretty rough section of Boston), there was a kid, who everyone thought was gay. Why? Because he was dancer, and he only hung out with girls. He was quite effeminate in his manners and speech. Cried alot. What kept him from getting bullied was if you picked on him, the girls would make you persona non grata. To us, he was āone of the girlsā. I would have bet money that he was gay. Nope. Not gay. Went on to broadway. Married another dancer. Opened a dance studio. Had a bunch of kids. There was another kid I grew up with. Played hockey and could brawl with the best. Played at the college level and scouted by the NHL. Hung out and did āguy stuffā. Gay. Ran into him a couple summers ago. Met his husband. Good to catch up with him. Had a lot of laughs telling those āremember whenā¦howād we not end up in jail?ā stories. I asked him when he knew. He said he knew when we all lost our minds over girls, and he didnāt.
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I can relate to your friend and my friendship with my friends. I was able to tell them pretty much when I was sure at 19 and Iām blessed they embraced me.
I never wanted to lead a girl along as I knew even before then. I dated some girls on a few occasions but I never let it advance as I didnāt want to hurt them with a lie. So I get the not losing your mind comment. I just focused on sports and work and tried keeping the closet door shut. I never drank as a kid to deal with it, it really started in my 20s when I had other crap in life to deal with and it all combined to weigh on me a bit so I found the āself medicationā alcohol supposedly serves up.
And often the guys people thought were gay as a kid are often now married with kids. Donāt judge books by their covers.
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I have a lot of āTom boyā female friends married with kids. Played football with the guys etc. I hate stereotypes.
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Thx. I agree. I donāt worry about the sexuality stuff, itās how heās treated by more n more kiddos now. Whenever anything occurs about him being āgirlyā, he usually tells me. I just keep sending him the message thereās nothing wrong with him. Heās very athletic, but prefers individual sports. Killed it in soccer n baseball, but just didnt like it. He was 1st n 2nd in State on several events in gymnastics and is 2nd in State now in multiple swim events like backstroke, 100 IM, etc. I havenāt ālabeledā him, and realize heās only in 3rd gradeā¦but he gets treated ugly around here already. I get what you mean about who knows if heās gay or not. Thx 4 reply!
I was the biggest tomboy growing up. Still am really. I thought I was gonna show them all I wasnāt gay. Then I had my first sexual relationship with a guy and thought for sure I wasnāt gay. 3 years into that relationship everything changed. Gay as fuck! Haha, some people do end up being gay when everyone else already knows. I was 21 when I realized the truth, 22 when I finally left the Douche bag I was trying to fool myself with. Got into my first real relationship with a woman that year.
Some stories turn out the way you think they will, others wonāt. Your son will come to this crossroad or he wonāt. The best advice I can give you is to make sure heās secure in the love and acceptance he gets at home. No one can control anything outside their own realm so just make sure yours is locked down.
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Iāll probably b in touch! Thx so much!
Another gay here! 
One of my AA meetings is an LGBT one but tbh many arenāt gay (that Iāve spoken to). You should feel comfortable in a meeting so I hope you settle in one that you like 
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Oh yeah, and everyone but me knew I was gay since I was a kid. Or heavily suspected.
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Kids can be brutal. I donāt think that will change. Like the Johnny Cash song, āwant your kid to be tough, name him Sueā. Kids get picked on for being fat, or being a ginger, or sucking at baseball (although my childhood friend Ed was red-haired, overweight and could murder the ball), or a whole host of things. I have mixed feelings, honestly, about ābullyingā. Some of it is just vicious, and no parent wants their kid to be picked on. Hell, Iāve wanted to ādisappearā a couple of kids who picked on my son, but decided he needed to āBoston Upāā¦be ānice, until its time not to be niceā. He toughened up on his own, but is also very kind and considerate. His little sister adores him. Getting married in June. Going to make a fine husband and father.
Hereās a book I had my daughter read. I think your son would enjoy it too:
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Thx 4 reply. Iām in a āsecretā Facebook group for parents with LGBTQ kiddos. Again, I havenāt labeled him n he hasnāt come out. I just have ZERO friends with a son like mine. The fb group is helpful, but the recovery piece isnāt a component. Nothing face 2 face I know of around hear 4 stuff like this. Very isolating. Iām learning a lot about lgbtq stuff too from that fb group. Itās only for moms.
The bullying thing is difficult to navigate. Never dealt with it before. On one hand, advocate 4 your child (especially at young age). On the other hand, friggin let them/teach them to defend themselves. Life skills. Iām not raising doormats. Nope.
Ive stayed home full time, since had my boys. There r other school options, but not at that point yet. Imma go ahead n pray I never have 2 homeschool. Iām already loco, but that would take me to another level 4 sure.
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Yes. Weird too imo.
Home schooling should be a last resort. Encourage him to be strong and heāll find his way.
I got you 
Gay or straight, knowing how to make someone āTap Outā is a useful skill. Hereās where I am at great odds with the educational system. I get that we need to teach our kids to be kind and considerate, but I understand that there are those in this world who are not, and some are just plain predators.
I disagree with the statement āViolence is never the answerā. Sometimes, itās the only answer, when you are flat out of choices. Then itās best to make sure the predator knows that they have made a critical error in the victim-selection process. My daughter knows how to break a wrist-hold, Hair-hold, and throw a palm-strike. She also has my barbed tongue and is quick with a come-back. But she knows to be ānice, until its time not to be nice.ā
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Oh, itāll be a last resort. Heh. Iād rather eat toenails than homeschool.
I hijacked the thread. Eeek.
Might b pushing some of your buttons.
Iāve been joking about the home schooling. Sorry if I came off as flippant. Seriously.