Hello everyone! I’ve been checking this app and forum for months but just joined the discussion today. I’m 222 days clean. I’m an alcoholic and a benzo addict. I see a ton of people dealing with all kinds of things here and was wondering if anyone else has had to deal with the frustration of prescription benzodiazepine addiction. It’s been tough as hell!
I kind of hope no one else has had this problem for obvious reasons, but it would certainly be nice to know I’m not the only one here.
If taken in small doses they can be safe to come off. Still should be something that is discussed regularly with his doctor. They can be very dangerous; most doctors under the age of 35 or so won’t prescribe them at all. Just keep yourself informed. Tolerance comes quickly sometimes and that’s where the trouble comes from.
I won’t scare you with what my detox has been like unless you really want to know. I will say this though; I’m still going through PAWS and may be for months to come, and some of the symptoms may be permanent.
They are fxking awful! I had to go through 2 1/2 weeks of medically assisted detox, ended up in the hospital for ten days shortly after because of the anxiety and general feeling that I was going to die. My brain vacated the premises for a long time, and still does occasionally. The physical stuff was intense shaking, twitching, sweating, the works. I lost 30 lbs in a month. I had minor seizures. If I wouldn’t have been on the medication taper I would have gone through major seizures and quite possibly would have died. My brain will never be the same again. I used to be a sometimes writer and now I struggle like crazy! Writing is something I’ve always loved. There was a ton of other stuff but I’m pretty sure you get the point.
All that said, I was on 5 to 7 mgs of Xanax and klonopin (c? K?) a day, got up to 9.5 mgs on my worst day before I went to the ER. That’s a shit ton. Coming off a low dose sucks, probably worse than coming off a low amount of everyday drinking, but it’s not likely to be risky as far as health wise.
I really hope that none of these things happen to your boyfriend. Just make sure y’all stay on top of it. Clearly I would suggest finding something else, but I know how well they work.
I was addicted to medically prescribed benzos 2 years ago. My doctor gave me refills of valium for 2 years. It has takes 16 months to finally feel like my brain is getting normal, after tapering down for 4 months. Of course I used alcohol to get off the valium. That method was a bad idea. But at least my memory and emotions are back to normal. Benzodiazepine are a lifesaver for short periods, but I will never take them like that again. The worst was a feeling like my whole body was shaking from the inside. I will never forget that awful feeling. But hang in there- my brain is soooooo much better than I ever thought it would be after that.
I am currently prescribed valium for PTSD related anxieties. Its good to know these things so thanks everyone for sharing. I will be very careful not to use them for too ling or increase my doses. I’m only taking 4mg a day atm. Only for the last week. I was on 8mg of lorazapam a week before that for a few months. I will definitely try coming up with alternatives if they stop helping. I don’t wanna go thru withdrawals uve warned about. Thanks heaps everyone for sharing.
Yeah, that shaking from the inside was so terrible! Everyday I would go in to the auxiliary detox place wondering if I wasn’t having constant seizures. I also didn’t think it would ever stop! I still get these episodes where my body slightly vibrates or hums from the inside out. It’s pretty unnerving. I hope that will go away!
I’ve been telling myself that I’m only 7.5 months in (or 6 or 5 as it was before) and that it’s still going to take time before the brain fog and memory lapses go away, but when everything feels so much better and I still can’t get my brain to work, I get soooo frustrated! It helps more than I can express to hear someone who has more clean time say it will still get better! So thank you!
Swam… I hope that your doctors can get you through whatever you are going through and then take you off the benzos. I was stable on my prescription for years, even though I know now I shouldn’t have been at the doses I was for as long as I was, then it seemed like overnight my tolerance started climbing faster than I could keep up with. I was buying the shit online and having it shipped from China as well as buying what I could off the street. It hit so fast! I know there is some medical advantage to the meds, I just don’t want anyone to go through the scary withdrawal. There isn’t nearly enough info on benzo addiction, and detox and recovery are not generally well handled in the system.
I really wish this topic had more exposure in the world! Until then, we shall all fight together and survive together!
I used a loophole to start my temporary addiction to a substance called etizolam. It is a research chemical (not really, it’s prescribed in India for anxiety) which is not a benzo only because they changed the chemical structure a little but to make it legal, it’s still a benzo, does the same thing, and causes the same hell of a withdrawl, rebound anxiety. I couldn’t leave the house some days when withdrawing, and I didn’t even know I was withdrawing because I thought withdrawls were only physical, man was I wrong… Benzo withdrawl is the worst kind of withdrawl imo
I have to agree about it being the worst kind of withdrawal. I’ve obviously spoken about a lot of the things I went through, but the list is so vast I could go on forever. I had agoraphobia for almost two months. If it wasn’t for my neighbor I don’t know what I would have done. No food and no cigs. Three weeks into detox I was admitted to the hospital with massive dissociation and psychosis, as well as mania. I really wish I had anyone around me that understood any part of it. I still do. That’s why I finally joined this forum.
I couldn’t drive my car for almost 2 months because I always thought the worst was going to happen, I know now how ridiculous that sounds, but back then my mind made me believe it, it was mental hell
It’s so true! I had to drive to the treatment center those first 17 days to get my detox meds. For some reason the idiots at the hospital decided auxiliary outpatient detox would work. I guess they were right, but I ended up in the hospital anyway. I have absolutely no clue how I managed to get there. I remember some, but mostly being convinced that my shaking was going to take me right off the side of the hill. After that it was two months and an infected cyst that finally got me back behind the wheel. These are the things I wish someone would tell people when they prescribed this shit!
Benzos are going to be the death of me
… If you allow it to. By saying that and believing it unfortunately that may be so, but you’re here. Why are you here? You know why. We’re here for you. It doesn’t have to be like that, but you need to work at it
If you feel that way I beg you to take yourself to the hospital and get help! These things are far more dangerous than anyone else will tell you. I promise that there are ways to live without them. I haven’t taken them on my own I’m 224 days and I have found ways to live a productive life. I very much hope that you can find a way to as well!
I am just struggling lately I ain’t used in 15 days I am still sick from coming off them
I know how terrible that struggle is. It’s quite honestly that struggle that keeps me clean. I can’t ever face that struggle again and survive! Know that everything gets so much better. Those of us who survive it to stay clean deserve more than anyone can give us, but we raise our heads high and know that we can survive anything!
Well said, I am also struggling- for years. First getting off alcohol and than benzos, used to mix it and its very bad. Benzos are one of the worst prescription DRUGS ever. Pillpopper- surround Yourself with people who you trust, for me it’s also God helping. Good luck!
Thanks! I’m almost 13 months clean now and things are as good as can be expected. Slowly coming off Seroquel now as I was missdiognoses with bipolar while I was drinking. It’s a pain in the ass and really hard, but I feel like I can make it through anything after that first year.
Hey! It’s been a while since I’ve seen you around! Glad you are back!
I don’t have any advice about beating PAWS. For me, it was get through one minute at a time sometimes. But, I had my mind made up that there was no way in hell that benzos were an option. They never will be. I’m going through a lot of shit right now and benzos never even cross my mind when I’m stressed. It’s over 2 years clean now and I’m not going back. Ever.
Stick around here, will ya!
I took 4 to 6 mg xanax ever night for 20 plus years…a long with a shit ton of opioids ever day…I stopped them both cold Turkey on the same day a week shy if a year ago …
I was in bad enough shape you couldnt take a gun and make me take one of those damn thi ge now…my councilor in rehab said it would take me on the long side of the scale for my brain to heal atv18 months to 2 years so I just been asking it easy and not worrying g about it…
I can say I am on a good sleep pattern now at 356 days and it takes something really horrible to agitate me…I do still have days where I will sit around all day and not realize it and dont remember where the time went…lol…
I had totally gotten where I didnt care about anything and had no feelings…I’m proud to say Iam getting away from that now…
I am not 100 percent by any means but man I feel great compared to what I did those 1st couple months .
Yeah it gets a lot better
I’ve been sober from them and alcohol for over 2 years. I’m not having any cravings for them. Someone resurrected this thread. These were my first posts when I joined here.