I’m glad you vented, Emilie. I have had the same experience imagining life without my husband. I think of where I would live, what kind of place I’d live in, then I’d think about leaving my two cats behind, and it would break my heart!
Not to make light of your situation.
I hear you and I’m with you 100%. Addiction does suck.
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Ah Emilie that does sound like a worrysome night. Glad he is safe and super glad that you vented here
Even if you don’t follow through it may be a good idea to have options available 
Addiction is a bitch. Hoping you have a stress free wonderful day 
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Oh I’m taking the kitties! We live in a house with lots of light and plants and a swing for me to read in.
I’m sorry you do the same thing but I’m glad to know I’m not alone. 🩶
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Thank you Jazz. It’s just really hard to find addiction attractive. We’ve talked about it today. He said he’s been thinking about it for a while, knew he wanted to go and didn’t have fun.
A part of me is angry at myself because I thought (like always) that he was out with someone else. My low self esteem plus his addiction is a sad combo. I appreciate you and your big heart.
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A sad combo for sure. I do hope you give yourself some love today and are able to see the beauty we see in you.
Grateful that through it all you two are able to talk it out honestly.
Big hugs to you my friend 
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One of my favorite readings from Courage To Change. And it’s today’s reading.
It’s funny 
My sponsor is still telling me to focus on myself. Not what she does.
But I think I’m getting better. 
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This is a good one. I just read that page too. I already posted about this on the gratitude thread, but I have a dear friend who has become sort of my Al anon sponsor. Yesterday we had a discussion about this very thing. It was very helpful. Thanks!
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Ya I can’t sleep. Went to bed but woke around 1. Gave it an hour or so and here I am. I must be too excited for our big trip today. Or she had a couple of glasses of wine last night and she’s snoring like a freight train. 
I wish she wouldn’t drink. Somehow she stops at 2 these days and it’s not every day either. But it still gets in my head. And even after 2 drinks she changes, her personality changes. Somehow I got to learn to just focus on myself. Or at least not focus on her. Thing is, it seems like I been preaching this for years. I’m not upset or anything. At least I don’t think I am. But ya, it bothers me. I thought maybe writing it out and leaving it here would help. I got a Daisy cat purring on my lap. And I can read my book. I guess I could have plugged in a sleep meditation but I just didn’t want to. And the snoring!! And now with a purring cat on my lap and 2 blankets I guess I’m stuck here in my comfy chair.
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Dang, sorry I didn’t see this til now! Hope it all worked out. I often escape to our extra bedroom downstairs when my husband snores too loud, or when I’m too upset to sleep for whatever reason.
I’m glad I can do that. Hope you get better shut eye tonight!
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Sending you hugs dear friend Hope you had a safe travel.
Separate bedrooms are gold for snorrers. Life is so much better bearable with restful sleep. Snorring sucks. Saying this as I’m a big snorrer and my ex was complaining. Well, he sorred too so it was even.
Sorry wifey is drinking again. Never mind if one or hundred, it sucks. I hear you, enjoying the spouse sober and then feeling sad and then being effected by them drinking again is hard and heartbreaking. Like eroding the trust and good emotions that build up in being sober together. Of course you are a welltrained practitioner in focussing on yourself and your sobriety.
But that shit gets lonely and good sober times together alternating with the spouse drinking is for me like starting the car, enjoying the ride, suddenly turning the engine off in the middle of nowhere and not knowing when it will drive again. Repeat starting until engine is broken, battery is empty, you are sick of waiting and call the auto club to drop you at the next train station and the car at the next garage or simply have enough after the umpteenth try, hitchhike to the next town and abandon the broken car.
I’m surprised where this post went, take what you like and leave the rest. I admire your strength and your commitment to sobriety
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Thanks friend. I’m laughing out loud. Love the car analogy. And love your style. Thanks for the support and the laugh. Yep. Never stop working on me. We are basically good though. Good enough. Just as you know. So much better when both not drinking.
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Thanks for checking in. No shut eye tonight. On the plane as I write. Can never sleep on planes. Just wanted to get my thoughts out of my head. Was hoping it helped. That’s why I snuck it in at 3 am or so. 
I was good and feeling ok during. Went to bed fine woke up not! wide awake. Oh well. Today is another day. And I’ll be grateful for tomorrow. Sober as well on my end.
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Safe travels, Eric (I forget now where you guys are off to). I often think about you during my days and the situation w your wife. I’m grateful I’m not being dragged by another’s addiction (and avoidance, in our case) anymore. But I 100% understand the love that is there and the desire to share a life. (This is not to do w you but for understanding I wanna add that thankfully, I still get to share a lot w my ex and we’re in a good and loving place, but not as a couple anymore.)
Be safe, my friend. Also sleep is overrated. 
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I’m hoping she was “getting her fill” at home so she can have a totally “dry holiday”. That’s my hope. I know it’s lots of anxiety wondering when it could get out of control. Wishing you all a wonderful sober holiday, home boundaries remaining in place. Big hugs.
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Ya, I’ll sleep when I’m dead 
right?
Doing a pre Christmas Holiday in London with half my family. Stop over if you got a minute. Everything is close by in Europe right?
Things are actually going quite well these days. I just got to get use to her having 1 or 2 once and awhile now. Which I’m doing. Usually. I don’t understand it. I’ve been saying it’s her recovery. And it is. But it’s a stop and start again thing. But she knows I’m on a plane to visit grand babies if she gets all fucked up. I won’t live like that anymore. And our kids are on board with that plan. So if I start whining about how fucked up she is you guys get to hold me to it!
Only got an hour and a half to go now. So exciting!
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Hate to break it to ya………
But I’m good. 
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That is indeed very exciting! Both the holiday and the sticking to your boundary! Man I’d totally pop over if I had the cash flow and the time! If youse wanna stick on a weekend in my little town you just let me know!! Looking forward to the pics already!
And yeah, we got your back! No bother.
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Enjoy London- my hometown these days! It’s looking pretty good this time of year (sorry about the rain tomorrow, but yeah it’s England). Sure you got it covered but if you want any local tips feel free to drop me a note 
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Thank you James.
Very kind of you.
My 16 month granddaughter is kinda calling the shots around here And it’s a beautiful thing.
We broke away for a musical tonight though.
Went and saw Tina. It was amazing!! Very intense. Great show!!
@Tragicfarinelli
@JennyH
@Louloubelle
London theatre is the best!
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