Thanks friend. I’m laughing out loud. Love the car analogy. And love your style. Thanks for the support and the laugh. Yep. Never stop working on me. We are basically good though. Good enough. Just as you know. So much better when both not drinking.
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Thanks for checking in. No shut eye tonight. On the plane as I write. Can never sleep on planes. Just wanted to get my thoughts out of my head. Was hoping it helped. That’s why I snuck it in at 3 am or so. 
I was good and feeling ok during. Went to bed fine woke up not! wide awake. Oh well. Today is another day. And I’ll be grateful for tomorrow. Sober as well on my end.
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Safe travels, Eric (I forget now where you guys are off to). I often think about you during my days and the situation w your wife. I’m grateful I’m not being dragged by another’s addiction (and avoidance, in our case) anymore. But I 100% understand the love that is there and the desire to share a life. (This is not to do w you but for understanding I wanna add that thankfully, I still get to share a lot w my ex and we’re in a good and loving place, but not as a couple anymore.)
Be safe, my friend. Also sleep is overrated. 
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I’m hoping she was “getting her fill” at home so she can have a totally “dry holiday”. That’s my hope. I know it’s lots of anxiety wondering when it could get out of control. Wishing you all a wonderful sober holiday, home boundaries remaining in place. Big hugs.
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Ya, I’ll sleep when I’m dead 
right?
Doing a pre Christmas Holiday in London with half my family. Stop over if you got a minute. Everything is close by in Europe right?
Things are actually going quite well these days. I just got to get use to her having 1 or 2 once and awhile now. Which I’m doing. Usually. I don’t understand it. I’ve been saying it’s her recovery. And it is. But it’s a stop and start again thing. But she knows I’m on a plane to visit grand babies if she gets all fucked up. I won’t live like that anymore. And our kids are on board with that plan. So if I start whining about how fucked up she is you guys get to hold me to it!
Only got an hour and a half to go now. So exciting!
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Hate to break it to ya………
But I’m good. 
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That is indeed very exciting! Both the holiday and the sticking to your boundary! Man I’d totally pop over if I had the cash flow and the time! If youse wanna stick on a weekend in my little town you just let me know!! Looking forward to the pics already!
And yeah, we got your back! No bother.
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Enjoy London- my hometown these days! It’s looking pretty good this time of year (sorry about the rain tomorrow, but yeah it’s England). Sure you got it covered but if you want any local tips feel free to drop me a note 
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Thank you James.
Very kind of you.
My 16 month granddaughter is kinda calling the shots around here And it’s a beautiful thing.
We broke away for a musical tonight though.
Went and saw Tina. It was amazing!! Very intense. Great show!!
@Tragicfarinelli
@JennyH
@Louloubelle
London theatre is the best!
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Lovely!
Glad you enjoyed it.
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She rocking that bowler like nobody’s business.
Can we see grandpa w the hat?
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What a beauty
Glad you’re having a great time 
X
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Just checking in to say that it stinks that my husband still drinks. I want better for him and I want better for me. My life is better with him in it but it would be waaaaaay better if we were on the same page with drinking. We aren’t and I can’t make it so, so I’ll stay the sober course and post here. 🩷🩶
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Sending you hugs 
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Thanks for checking in and saying what’s on my mind so succinctly. Sending you hugs too!
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My wife drank during the whole trip.
@TrustyBird
But I think I was soooo much better. I could have let her drinking ruin my trip. I still thought of it more than I would have liked. But I didn’t obsess about it. Well maybe a few minutes here and there.
It was kinda hard as she said she wasn’t going to. And she had a week-ish not drinking under her belt. My wife is generally good for her word.
I know expectations lead to resentments. Expectations are just resentments waiting to happen. And all that shit. But I really thought she wouldn’t drink on this trip. (Insert Lucy and Charlie Brown football skit,) 
I don’t think that was an expectation. And now that the trip is over. I have no resentments. I’m good.
And at least when she drinks it was right in front of our son and the baby. Which I’m taking as a positive thing. Because I’m not alone any more. My son and I got to chat about it.
I do hope she will go back to working on her recovery or whatever it is she was working on.
And I will continue my recovery and know to never expect her not to drink. And enjoy the time when she’s not drinking and doing her best.
I hear ya TB. LOUD AND CLEAR. Sucks.
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Ah @Dazercat I’m glad nothing catastrophic happened while she was drinking but I hear you on that disappointment. I will continue to do my inner work and I know you’ll do the same. Only my response is in my control but it is tough not to be bitchy on his drinking nights. Doesn’t help, to bed with thee, get thee rested.
Thanks all for the love and the space to post when things aren’t fun. You all are an absolute lifeline. @erntedank and @Pattycake that goes double for you.
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I’ve been chewing on this for my situation. For how long I thought my life was better with him in it. Until it weren’t. Finally. I’m kindly working on letting go this part of my life. Especially the part where I feel he was gone emotionally troubles me. There is some itchy, scratchy devil in me that still wants clear statements on why, what, when and WTF! I’m grateful that I identify it as a part of me and don’t fully go in with that rollercoaster. It’s more like I curiously ask myself what I hope to gain from it, why is it still important after so long? I notice that I more and more use the process of letting go additionally become a journey to better knowing myself. Why? Because I want a healthy relationship and I don’t want to fall into old, obsolete patterns only because they are deeply engraved in my brain and heart. They don’t serve a need anymore. On the contrary, they cause damage each time they break through. So letting go my past includes letting go of this old version of myself.
I didn’t know where this post was heading but I feel lighter and clearer.
End of chewing 
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This is beautiful and I was pondering the same stuff last night. I’ll give this a chew today and get back to you. Hugs. 🩷
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