Got my first online Al-Anon meeting in tonight. I hate Zoom. Or whatever it was online. I’ve had the Al-Anon app on my phone and iPad for awhile now. I’ve never really used it much except to look up in person meetings. Tonight I didn’t know I was going to need a meeting and was able to get one.
It wasn’t bad. I jumped on a little late. I liked the very welcoming moderator. I Just have to figure out the ins and outs of electronic meetings and find a place in the house to do it in. They had fellowship time at the end for 15 minutes just to chat. So that was kind of cool.
I feel like I’m starting to get addicted to Al-anon I guess there’s worse things. Just getting on there I felt a calmness and peace start to take over.
Serenity fucking now.
There’s so many meetings at all different times. I’m sure I’ll be able to get the hang of it and find some ones I want to be a part of on a regular basis when I need a meeting.
Glad you found a meeting when you needed it. What about in the garage in the car w the garage door open?
I just remembered it’s going to be getting super hot. So that might not work.
I found a bedroom. Of course when I closed the door B comes out of nowhere and wants in meow
It’s actually too cold out up here to be comfortable outside. I have plenty of bedrooms. Just feels weird being in a meeting in a spare bedroom. . But it’s ok. Who cares.
Yeah I also love virtual meetings for the availability, if nothing else. I have actually heard some very powerful shares in online meetings, I might even say more than in person. It could be that the person sharing feels safer behind their screen to be vulnerable, who knows.
I am glad you are remaining open-minded and feeling the benefits in your recovery.
Help, please help me; I am struggling so much right now I’ve just spent the last hour or more reading this thread. I don’t know what to do. It hurts so much. My sister, who I am close with and she means the world to me - I care about her so much - has relapsed and gone back to her doc. It is marijuana. She’s battled this addiction for a very long time and had not found any success, until Dec last year! It was SO hard intially, but she did it. She finally cleared it out her system and was free and clear, and most importantly HAPPY and feeling healthy! I was so happy for her. Even more so, for her children - my niece and nephew!! These two kids are my world and I worry about them A LOT. I deal with pretty full on anxiety disorder and it really manifests at its worse when it comes to my family. I just want them to be safe and healthy and happy. I think my sister has started using again. I’m not 100% as I have not had the courage to ask her. I’m scared she’ll lie, or, worse, tell me the truth that she is smoking weed again but it seems pretty obvious to me now. I have my suspicions for the last week or so, and spending the day with her today, she seemed like her ‘old self’ stoned and a bit distant. I tried really hard to not expect anything, I told myself she might ‘go back’ and to accept that if it happens. But, after some time, i gained confidence, she seemed to be doing so well; she was so positive and really seeing the changes and benefits of her new life without her addiction. I let hope grow. It grew so and embedded deep into my heart. And, now, it feels broken. I’m so sad. I’m crying. I don’t want her to use marijuana. In honesty, her relationship with alcohol isnt great either I don’t want my niece and nephew to be raised in a household where their parents are smoking weed, tobacco and drinking alcohol all the time. Their such AMAZING kids. They deserve better. It’s SO hard. Because I have NO control over this. I just love and care about all of them so much - what can I do???
Unfortunately not much! In this case, you are doing what you can by being an example of sober living to them and you nieces. I’m so so sorry. It’s hard to see loved ones struggle with addiction.
Hey there Emc
So sorry you’re dealing with this. I’m glad you came here and read some posts.
I’ve been struggling a lot lately, currently, and I just keep going back to step 1. I’m so powerless over addiction. Mine, my wife’s. Everyone else’s. It’s been breaking my heart.
I’ve been learning there is a lot of grieving with addiction. Especially someone else’s. I’ve done a lot of grieving myself. I thought I was over it. But now I’m just so sad.
Denial can be huge for me. Sometimes I know my wife is not sober and I just want to give her the benefit of the doubt and hope, maybe she’s not that bad. But most of the times she is that bad and I was right all along. It doesn’t help much being right. But I know when she’s acting differently from her loving normal self. I feel so hopeless most days and there is nothing I can do. It is so much harder when there are children involved, because I know you love and care so much about them. That part really sucks.
It’s not easy letting go and letting god and learning all the other slogans and putting them into practice. It’s hard as hell. And I been doing it for a year now. I reckon I’m getting a bit better. Some days.
I hope you can find at least a little bit of peace and serenity about your situation. We must take care of ourselves. Somehow.
Thank you @LeeHawk
Appreciate you so much, you’re always here for others and I believe you’re such a kind and caring soul, thank you I will continue to be that example for them
Thank you Eric. I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling too. It’s so hard isn’t it I admire your courage a d resilience though. You are such an example of strength! Your presence here on TS is so valuable to us, and I’m grateful you’re here. Thank you.
I hope we can fid some ease and peace within the struggle. Hurts so much because of the love and care we have. And, even though it hurts we’re lucky to be who we are - loving and caring - always. I know our SO’s and our family know and believe this too
Wow! 449 days is amazing and I’m so happy you’re here and youve found your better way to live your life, THC free. Weed really destroys people more than what is commonly known /thought.
Hi just need to write it out. My parents are alcoholics and they know iv stopped. The know how suicidal i was, the exams and health scares iv had, how shitty my house got just all the bad things that come with alcoholism. I was open honest and vunerable about i cannot continue drinking, it will kill me and i cant stop once iv started. Just a brief picture. My mum keeps offering me drinks. Even drinks she knows i dont drink. Have a sip of cider, try this beer this wine etc. Literally anything she keeps offering me. And even when i drank i drank pure spirits so it baffles me she would even offer me those drink. Secondly im so disappointed she would do this. If my child came to me and said im struggling and this is the problem i wouldnt try to actively encourage it! Eurgh i dunno. Just disapointed in the family i have really. If i challenge it, its always flipped im on the attack or something. Iam always wrong. Just feel abit sad tonight.
Hey Megan, Im sorry you are feeling unsupported. I had a really difficult day on Thursday. I had an appointment at the hospital with part of the team who I am working with on my eating disorder. I woke up that morning and I immediately was figuring out ways of avoiding that appointment. The wiser part of me knew I needed help so I asked my mom for a ride, “Mom please help me get to this appointment, Im scared.” She said sure, because she loves me so much and would do anything to support me getting healthy. For the whole 40 minute drive my very sick mother rambled on about her latest diet and calorie restriction as her very sick daughter sat in silence listening to her. All I could think was, " I understand." My mom wasnt triggering me to hurt me, she is caught in her own web of obsessive thoughts and compulsive actions. My mom is also sick.
I know it hurts when we feel unsupported but a slight change in our own perspective can elliviate some of that pain.
My friend’s drinking is out of control. I don’t want to say too much bc I hope she joins our community one day, but I fear for her, her child, & everyone on the road when she’s driving. This is the worst she’s ever been. She recently smashed into a car & drove away. Something really bad is gonna happen in the near future. For me, the worst part is the manipulation. They guilt trip you if you don’t bring them alcohol.
That sounds dangerous. Are you safe? I’m sorry you are going through this. Please first and foremost keep yourself and your sobriety safe. The guilt trip can fuck right off, people under the influence are not acting or speaking rational. Don’t take it personal. When you think the child is in danger consider taking steps to seek help and protection. The hit-and-run driving scares me, she obviously doesn’t take responsibility for her actions.
Sending you strength
I understand what your saying. Im also sorry you were in that situation also.
I think what im trying to get as is. Yes they have this addiction/disease and thats their problem not mine and visa versa.
If my mum was out of it drunk, knocking shots, getting aggressive, hugley hungover. Or talking about alcohol, a session, anything. It wouldnt of bothered me. Its her life and dont expect people to be different around me cause i chose differently. Life is still life and people will still be people. I just didnt expect her to repeatedly offer me alcohol, its like sabotage.
Its like the difference of your mother talking about diets or triggering topics and then physically getting out tape measures and diet plans. Theres a limit to me which is acceptable. And if a mate offered me a drink during rounds i wouldnt be offended or uncomfortable. There trying to be inclusive to me and id just order a coke. Its the fact she knows better than to try drag me back in. She can be an alcoholic. Dont try to make me one too.
I guess there’s worse things. Just getting on there I felt a calmness and peace start to take over.
. But it’s ok. Who cares.
I’ve just spent the last hour or more reading this thread. I don’t know what to do. It hurts so much. My sister, who I am close with and she means the world to me - I care about her so much - has relapsed and gone back to her doc. It is marijuana. She’s battled this addiction for a very long time and had not found any success, until Dec last year! It was SO hard intially, but she did it. She finally cleared it out her system and was free and clear, and most importantly HAPPY and feeling healthy! I was so happy for her. Even more so, for her children - my niece and nephew!! These two kids are my world and I worry about them A LOT. I deal with pretty full on anxiety disorder and it really manifests at its worse when it comes to my family. I just want them to be safe and healthy and happy. I think my sister has started using again. I’m not 100% as I have not had the courage to ask her. I’m scared she’ll lie, or, worse, tell me the truth that she is smoking weed again 
but it seems pretty obvious to me now. I have my suspicions for the last week or so, and spending the day with her today, she seemed like her ‘old self’ stoned and a bit distant. I tried really hard to not expect anything, I told myself she might ‘go back’ and to accept that if it happens. But, after some time, i gained confidence, she seemed to be doing so well; she was so positive and really seeing the changes and benefits of her new life without her addiction. I let hope grow. It grew so and embedded deep into my heart. And, now, it feels broken. I’m so sad. I’m crying. I don’t want her to use marijuana. In honesty, her relationship with alcohol isnt great either 
I don’t want my niece and nephew to be raised in a household where their parents are smoking weed, tobacco and drinking alcohol all the time. Their such AMAZING kids. They deserve better. It’s SO hard. Because I have NO control over this. I just love and care about all of them so much - what can I do??? 
I admire your courage a d resilience though. You are such an example of strength! Your presence here on TS is so valuable to us, and I’m grateful you’re here. Thank you.
Weed really destroys people more than what is commonly known /thought.